AIBU to hate Easter?

[Abeona]

My DP and I have been together for donkey's years but we still haven't worked out how to enjoy the Easter holiday. We're self-employed so can take what holidays we want, don't have children and we've been parent-free for more than a decade. We live in a lovely rural area that everyone flocks to at this time of year, as a result of which our roads are badly congested, there's nowhere to park in our pretty small town, the cafes and restaurants are full and doing anything much becomes a major hassle.

Our families live 200+ miles away and a journey that might ordinarily take four hours can take up to seven or eight, crawling along in traffic in the rain, so we don't visit them and they don't come to visit us. On a couple of occasions we've been away on holiday for Easter — once to Florence, once to Tenerife. On each occasion the airports were packed, we suffered long delays, the weather wasn't great and the destinations were packed too. We kicked ourselves for paying a premium price to go somewhere that was too crowded to be enjoyable. We've had friends to stay, but increasingly people prefer to travel when things are quieter. So since 2018 we've decided to stay at home and do a bit of gardening and DIY.

Every year my DP agrees that this is the best solution — and every year by the Monday Bank Holiday we've had a huge row, because everyone we know is out and about and having a good time in Majorca or the Maldives, or has braved the traffic and paid a fortune to go somewhere interesting and FOMO kicks in and we feel we've wasted Easter at home doing nothing because it's barely stopped raining.

Has anyone else had this experience? Have you found a solution?

Yes, this. I don't really get the whining, OP. Either go somewhere and do something in the knowledge that it will be expensive to get there and crowded, or enjoy something low-key at home, and go out in your lovely local surroundings at another time.

It just sounds like you're essentially saying 'How dare other people do stuff at Easter just because DH and I can't get through a BH weekend without fighting if we don't, although we agree we don't want to?'

Bloody hell, you can do what you want, when you want and still you're moaning about it. Nothings ever going to please you with that attitude.

Next year book a couple of nights in a lovely hotel the next town over and try and keep your hair on if there are a couple more cars on the road.

Plan a getaway for the weekend after Easter, so you have it to look forward to when you see everyone else having a great time away.

Simple!

She said she’s already done that, and they’re still miserable.

No, she said they'd done it three weeks later.

The following weekend is so much more immediate, when you are starting to plan, so seeing other people's breaks is more likely to heighten excitement rather than dampen it.

Imo.

Fairly certain OP would still manage to be miserable about it. Especially as it’s still school holiday and will be a bad weekend for travel.

And actually, she said 2 weeks later.

I don't have kids so definitely don't want to be out and about over Easter as everywhere is busy and full of screaming kids high on chocolate and haribos.

I'd rather just do something on a random long weekend when the kids are in school, and everywhere is quieter and thus more enjoyable.

Stop comparing yourselves to other people. What you like and want are not aligned with them, and nor should they be.

Next year book a holiday for the week after Easter. Then when the FOMO starts you can remind yourself you're not actually MO you're just sensibly deferring your gratification.

I feel the same way as you/your partner OP. Excited to spend time at home and do nothing, but then get FOMO at people doing more exciting things, but I dont want to go out/visit family/go on holiday due to the issues mentioned. So no matter what I do I feel a bit wistful and like I haven't used the time well.
I've no advice but solidarity!
This Easter I was pet sitting for family as an emergency last minute, so meant I couldn't do anything anyway, and was more stressful than being at work. I've got a year to think of a better plan for next easter!

yes stay as you are. I dont understand why you need to do anything. Just stay at home its not compulsory to go away or visit family?

Anyone who travels during a bank holiday for anything other than sheer necessity is bonkers.

Not really, bank holidays are when me and my kids are available to go away for a long weekend. Yes it’s busy but I’ve got school aged children, whenever we can get away it’s busy. It’s not a necessity to have holidays but I’m certainly not going to avoid holidays because roads are busy. We didn’t actually go away over Easter weekend, but it wouldn’t have been bonkers if we did.

We had a v nice weekend just now down in Dorset. Went to corfe and old Harry rocks, and stayed with family. Traffic was fine. It would have been bad in corfe but we set off reasonably promptly (10am) so it was just 45 mins to get there rather than 35.

Sounds like your problem is that it’s really hard for you to get anywhere else because you’re in Cornwall. Most people have got a range of directions they can head in. You’re already in the corner. But please don’t think everywhere is just awful over bank hol weekend - corfe was lovely, walk at old Harry rocks was great, pub gardens were busy ish but no trouble getting a table and a baby only hollered for a couple of minutes. Seems like you’re reading a few sensationalist headlines to convince yourselves there’s no point going anywhere, and believing the hype.

You could travel somewhere on Thurs morning and back again on Tues morning to avoid traffic. Or plan nice things at home - don’t just plan nothing. Plan to cook lovely meals, save up some films, schedule a couple of local walks, and invite friends over. Go to the garden centre the weekend before and spend Easter weekend planting it up.

Either get things in in advance so you can hole up with a plan and lovely food and nice things to do, or get away a day before others and get back a day after them, heading somewhere not totally tourist trap. You have basically all the choices. Just don’t not plan anything at all because you know by now that it won’t wash.

Go abroad but before the Easter hols hit, or just after - avoid the family rush

Or book something in for just after the holidays so when the fomo sets it won't hit so hard as you know you're doing it next week (and for cheaper with less stress.)

Goodness me. The drama of it. And who says parent free for a decade, how old are you, you sound incredibly young.

we are 50, what did we do? On Friday we lazed. On sat we went out for lunch, then went over to see friends, on Sunday we had dinner out. On Monday we lazed around.

its honestly can’t be this hard to occupy yourselves surely?

I guess we were both wrong then 😁

Sympathy for those who come to your area and don't treat it with respect (probably if 2020 was a guide about 90% of them).

However, the couple of times I have not gone anywhere at Easter has been a refreshing change, perhaps you need to embrace it.

With all due respect OP, for fucks's sake. You've got no dependants or ageing parents to worry about. You live in a lovely party of the world, you can go on holiday more or less when you like and (it would seem) afford the luxury contemplating the Maldives.

You really aren't going to be happy anywhere are you? Why is Easter such a big deal anyway? I live in a council flat and have no money. I've spent the weekend going for walks, cooking and eating lovely food, getting up later, pottering in the garden and drinking wine!

I only wish to christ my DH hadn't died 8 years ago so I could share it all with him and laugh like we used to. Consider yourselves lucky.

I actually prefer Easter to Christmas. Far less pressure. Present buying easier. Lovely spring colours; and as a Christian, it obviously has a particularly important meaning for me...