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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU to hate Easter?

145 replies

Abeona · 01/04/2024 20:32

My DP and I have been together for donkey's years but we still haven't worked out how to enjoy the Easter holiday. We're self-employed so can take what holidays we want, don't have children and we've been parent-free for more than a decade. We live in a lovely rural area that everyone flocks to at this time of year, as a result of which our roads are badly congested, there's nowhere to park in our pretty small town, the cafes and restaurants are full and doing anything much becomes a major hassle.

Our families live 200+ miles away and a journey that might ordinarily take four hours can take up to seven or eight, crawling along in traffic in the rain, so we don't visit them and they don't come to visit us. On a couple of occasions we've been away on holiday for Easter — once to Florence, once to Tenerife. On each occasion the airports were packed, we suffered long delays, the weather wasn't great and the destinations were packed too. We kicked ourselves for paying a premium price to go somewhere that was too crowded to be enjoyable. We've had friends to stay, but increasingly people prefer to travel when things are quieter. So since 2018 we've decided to stay at home and do a bit of gardening and DIY.

Every year my DP agrees that this is the best solution — and every year by the Monday Bank Holiday we've had a huge row, because everyone we know is out and about and having a good time in Majorca or the Maldives, or has braved the traffic and paid a fortune to go somewhere interesting and FOMO kicks in and we feel we've wasted Easter at home doing nothing because it's barely stopped raining.

Has anyone else had this experience? Have you found a solution?

OP posts:
bringmorewashing · 01/04/2024 21:06

I think it's a terrible time to travel, so if you're not limited by term time etc then why would you? We mostly spent the weekend at home cooking, doing little DIY jobs and just... not being busy for once! That can be really nice, too. Go away another time when things aren't packed and overpriced.

SeismicSalad · 01/04/2024 21:07

If you’re lucky enough to be in a situation where you can switch the bank holidays for other days off work, and have no kids, then it’s an absolute no brainer. Why would anyone choose to go away at the busiest time?

Needmorelego · 01/04/2024 21:07

I never learned to drive.
In my childhood my Dad drove and we (mum, dad, sister and me) often went "out for the day" which might have planned as going to A but ended up going via B + C and finally ending up at D.
The radio would be on (many a summer trip would be listening to the Radio 1 Roadshow) or cassette music playing. We did silly Eye Spy games. Stopped at a random service station or layby for sandwiches.
We could leave home early and come back late. No time restrictions. Pile loads of stuff in the boot.
I realised recently how much I miss those trips.
@Abeona just get in your car and go. So what if it's hours in the car - that can be the fun part of it.

Saymyname28 · 01/04/2024 21:08

Its really not an exciting holiday, just take the extra days off and chill out. Or work Friday and Monday and spend the days off at a better time when all the kids are at school and the weather is better.

YourSnugHazelTraybake · 01/04/2024 21:11

I'm laughing through gritted teeth op! I live near a coastal town and am in the midst of moving house. I was working Friday and Saturday as well. My usual 30 minute commute (15 miles through villages on narrow roads) took over an hour on Friday. Sunday we were moving stuff into storage for the move, and again, roads were heaving. But what gave me absolute rage were the arseholes pulling caravans that either pulled out without looking and nearly hit my car, or failed to give way coming through villages with cars parked so that everyone coming the other way ,who should have had priority, were stuck for bloody ages! I wish I'd been able to either hole up at home or go abroad to get away from it. What I wouldn't want to have done is travel anywhere in the uk, I had family that went away and it took them nearly 5 hours along the m62 for a 3 hour journey to get home.

welshcakes6 · 01/04/2024 21:12

We are exactly the same it's awful here when it gets busy with holiday makers i don't think you realise how much it impacts everything unless you live somewhere like that ! Even getting a pint of milk is hard work !
We have been out for a walk and a meal with friends this weekend. Yesterday I was climbing the walls everywhere you think to go is just massive hassle and absolutely packed can't park full of kids running wild cos their parents are relaxing. I'm self employed so I'm working it next year and will take the weekend after off instead

Newsenmum · 01/04/2024 21:15

Abeona · 01/04/2024 20:34

We haven't figured out what would make us happy, which is why I'm asking if others have had similar experiences...

Isn’t it the same as going anywhere during school holidays? what about some fun day trips? Don’t waste your life on fomo.

Newsenmum · 01/04/2024 21:15

Also you need some chocolate eggs!

SwedishEdith · 01/04/2024 21:20

Not everyone is doing stuff at Easter though. It's like 3 Sundays so, for most people, it's just more time off work. You'd only choose to go away at Easter if you were tied to school holidays.

LordEmsworth · 01/04/2024 21:22

So, you hate Easter because your partner has a go at you about not doing anything on a 4 day weekend? Hate is a strong word, but your posts don't say why, other than that other people get stuck in traffic.

I don't quite understand why you can't reply well why don't you organise something next year.

That said, I've been away - left Thurs evening, just got home - and the traffic was fine. I wasn't heading anywhere touristy and it's not exactly beach weather; but I can't see what's so bad about either going away or staying home.

So in summary - yes YABU to hate Easter, because it would be really easy to go away, or to stay home and do something nice, or to stay home and laze; and all those things are good. If the thing you hate is your partner whining, then Easter is not the root of your problem and doesn't deserve the blame...

HeddaGarbled · 01/04/2024 21:23

our footpaths and ruined castle full of townies and locals: don’t let your dissatisfaction turn you Royston Vasey.

piscofrisco · 01/04/2024 21:27

Well we tend to do a mixture. So a day of sorting out house things-we did a load of diy/garden jobs on Good Friday, then a date day-Dh and I went into London on Saturday for a potter around portobello, lunch and many drinks. Then a day with friends/family-we had friends for lunch on Sunday and my kids. Then today was a chill out day for dh, and for me in the afternoon-I went to work for a bit this morning as it was my turn to be on call. Feel like we have used the time off well and everyone is happy.

peachgreen · 01/04/2024 21:29

Surely one of the main benefits of not having kids is that you work through school and bank holidays and enjoy the time off when it’s quieter? Before I had kids I would done everything in my power to avoid having time off when everyone else did and it was great.

Jk987 · 01/04/2024 21:32

You could work and get ahead and then enjoy a few days off after the long weekend.

BeretRaspberry · 01/04/2024 21:34

If you work for yourself can you not just continue working through the bank holidays (maybe have one or two of the days off) and then go away when it’s quieter?

PonyPatter44 · 01/04/2024 21:34

If its so painful looking at the dreadful tourists (who presumably provide employment for at least some of your neighbours), why not plan a short break from Thursday to Tuesday, then you don't have to worry about tripping over trippers everywhere and YOU can be the trippers for a change!

I'd quite like to have been stuck at home with DP over Easter, but he worked Fri-Sun and only just managed to get today off. We live in a very dull part of the country, so just did the garden.

NowImInExile · 01/04/2024 21:35

We went away for Easter, it was an hour's drive. No traffic. Place we stayed was quiet. No issues parking or getting a table for lunch. I also like Easter at home when we do it.

mondaytosunday · 01/04/2024 21:53

I couldn't care less what everyone else is doing. This year (as we've done most years) it's me and my two kids enjoying a nice lamb roast. My son takes the dogs for extra long walks. Today we went to the garden centre and planted up the front window boxes, had a yummy lasagna dinner and are now watching The Godfather. It was a chilled day with no pressure on anyone. Stop trying to live like other people.

Ponderingwindow · 01/04/2024 21:56

We just ignore it. If I find myself with an extra day to putter around at home, I am perfectly happy.

Why aren’t you happy just to be having a normal day?

MonsteraMama · 01/04/2024 22:39

We live in Wales near the coast so we quite enjoy driving the other way down the A55 and pointing and laughing at all the pillocks sat in 4 hours of traffic on the coast road on Good Friday afternoon.

We then stayed in Manchester all bank holiday weekend drinking, eating, theatring and being merry. Nowhere was too busy and it was a lot of fun. Then we got to laugh at the same pillocks all the way home today as they sat in the same traffic going the opposite way and we lazily cruised home eating chicken nuggets and listening to audiobooks.

It's all about finding what makes you happy, not worrying about what anyone else is doing. Comparison is the thief of joy and all that. What do you normally enjoy doing with your time off?

VestaTilley · 01/04/2024 22:40

YABU. This is a you problem, not an Easter problem.

StormingNorman · 01/04/2024 22:46

The first thing I’d do is take the pressure off yourselves to have fun. The second thing is to stop worrying what other people are doing.

DirectionToPerfection · 01/04/2024 22:50

Oh dear, let me get out my tiny violin for you OP.

EatCrow · 01/04/2024 22:54

Abeona · 01/04/2024 20:38

None taken. I'm currently a bit miserable because we've just had our annual Easter row, but generally I'm not at all miserable. Easter seems to bring misery with it, judging from what I'm reading about people taking 14 hours to get home from Wales to the SE today after a whole spate of accidents.

If it’s a tradition to have your annual Easter row, why don’t you take a break from that too? Sounds like a bad habit.

StormingNorman · 01/04/2024 22:55

If you or DP really did want to do something, you could go for a longer break to avoid the Easter weekend travel chaos. Or do one of those lovely sleeper train journeys to Scotland to avoid the roads.

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