AIBU to be depressed by the state of my house

[Myhouseischaoss]

I know everyone will pile on to call me a slob but I need time or money to sort it. I have neither and it’s really getting me down.

If your wee one has lots of messy bitty toys, limit what is available, store stuff and rotate out.

I put YABU because you can do something about it without needing money or much time to do it.
However YANBU for feeling bad about it.

Use a company such as Icollect. You book online and they take most things and be absolutely ruthless. You can't tidy if you are moving clutter around. Every time you touch something ask is it broken? Has it been touched in the last six months? No then get rid. Don't touch the same thing twice. Bundle it all up put on the drive/doorstep and book a collection.

In 30 mins you can make a massive dent in a room. Have kids? Get them to help, a toddler can easily put rubbish into a designated bag or use a dustpan and brush. Then once you have decluttered look at a method such as The Organised Mum Method which designates a day to a room. For example today is living room day, I spent literally 15 mins tidying, sweeping, dusting and mopping in mine today. Tomorrow is bedroom day so I'll strip and remake the beds and vacuum/dust in those rooms. It makes it less overwhelming and keeping on top of because you do the same process every week.

No judgment here, it’s really bloody hard when they’re small and like little tornadoes! You did well to tidy 3 bedrooms in a day, don’t be hard on yourself. I would recommend watching Stacey Solomon if you haven’t already for ideas. A whole house or even a whole room can be too much to tackle, focus on small areas and if storage is an issue, focus on clearing out storage space you do have and don’t hold on to things you don’t love or need. You’ll get there eventually xx

When I was struggling with keeping the house clean and tidy, I focused on downstairs. Tidy the kitchen, wash up and put away pots, clean the sink and the hob at the very least. Ditto the living room and the dining room, and then hoover. That's today done.

Tomorrow, you pick another bit, and tidy and clean that.

Does your DH help to clean and tidy up after the kids at all?

Thanks for being kind, most of you. The absolute state of the place is getting me down.

The problem with this method is that I did this for months and the bedrooms, stairs hadn’t been hoovered, dust was building up, bathrooms were 🤢

no one has been unkind op! you’re actively looking for shadows where there are none

is your dh supportive of tidying up and having clean and is pro active about it?

The problem with this method is that I did this for months and the bedrooms, stairs hadn’t been hoovered, dust was building up, bathrooms were 🤢

why all I? surely DH can get stuck in

I think to an extent you need to accept that if you want a clean house that’s tidy with stuff put away etc then it takes time and effort- and that’s every day. No judgement if you don’t want to it’s so hard with small kids but people with tidy clean homes aren’t magic they just prioritise it. I had a friend who’s constantly tell me how lucky I was to have a tidy house….guess who tidied it!? It became chaos over the day with the kids but as I kept it reasonably clean under the dens/toys etc it took max 15 minutes to set straight when kids had a story (DH I would take turns to read or tidy) and it felt nice and calm.

I think what’s depressing me is that I DO! 😂

So, then you might have too much stuff and not enough places to put it. You may have too many people making mess and not enough people doing their bit to keep it tidy and clean. Is it one of those issues do you think @Myhouseischaoss?

Positive mental attitude, OP. You got three bedrooms done, that's great!

Also bathrooms are a DH job in this house...

We go have limited storage. A lot of it is toys, and that’s just small kids but also weaning baby makes a mess and there’s stuff that is hard to store like Christmas decorations, Ds train set etc. just now he’s taken a magnet off the fridge and dropped it in the lounge … whhhhhy 😭

Get your DH to do some cleaning. I'm sure he could hoover the stairs or clean a bathroom.

He could but he isn’t generally here.

No one is insulting you but I don’t understand why you’re writing something and then saying don’t reply!

Definitely struggling with this stage with a mobile baby and a toddler. Partly I'm embracing lower standards and going for clean not tidy in many areas but I'm also determined to have a big clear out and follow some de-cluttering advice when my toddler starts nursery two mornings a week soon. Having them both with me full time and husband who is away a lot makes it very difficult. By the time they're both asleep and I've done the dishes it's 9.30pm and I'm knackered so only have the energy for small jobs. A PP has hit the nail on the head for me, we have too much stuff so it gets moved from room to room!

@Flittingaboutagain im definitely having to embrace lower standards but there does come a point where I have to do something!

@Hoplittlebunnyhophophopandstop because I’m having a pity party 😂

Can you afford to get some help?

I suffer the same issue for a variety of reasons and it’s hard. But a cleaner and regular decluttering are the only thing that help really.

No 😭 we need a housekeeper really!

We’re all allowed a pity party occasionally but it’s not OK to say people are being mean when they’re not and they’re actually trying to help you.

The toddler/baby years are hard but they don’t last forever. If you can afford a robot hoover they’re amazing.

but it’s not OK to say people are being mean when they’re not and they’re actually trying to help you.

You have noticed a deleted message over the page?

Seems a bit weird to start the thread off saying you know you'll get horrible replies. Have you posted about the mess of your house before?