Would you fall for a romance scam artist?

[Mojitowithelfreako]

They just seem so ridiculous (the men).
The Tinder Swindler, Dirty John, Bad Surgeon, the guy from Bad Vegan... why do they succeed?
I feel like I would see through it, especially when they bring up the 'CIA' stuff. These women don't seem stupid. Do they never sit back and think 'that doesn't add up' or speak to their friends who say 'that's bullshit'. I just don't get it.
Maybe they are super charming but I think they go too far with their lies. As soon as anyone said 'it's top secret' then I would immediately think what a dick head.
Do you think they try several women before they succeed or can they tell which women want to believe, or are vulnerable?
Or could any of us get drawn in?

@AstralSpace but how do you know you can trust them? If someone sent you 20K first? If someone supported you through a difficult time?

No I wouldn't. Aside from these scams, I've never understood why some women seem to fall for men who are clearly full of absolute bullshit! They seem to lap up the compliments and declarations of love and completely ignore the fact that all their actions show that none of its true.

But then I think I've always been avoidant of real intimacy. So I suppose if I craved it I would be susceptible to being fooled.

They all "know" they can trust them. Until they find out they shouldn't have.

If you are lonely and hurt and vulnerable and someone comes along telling you you are wonderful…. That can be hard to resist

easy to say it would never happen to you, if you are in a secure place in your life right now

I'm as tight as a gnat's arse so while I might be susceptible to flattery, I wouldn't be sending any money their way.

I don't know but I've been like that all my life. Basically I guess the friendship or relationship grows and things fall into the correct places.
I really take my time getting to know people.

People on mumsnet tend to be more savvy (I mean we know how to post on a forum and add obviously aware of all these cons).

My aunt is honestly hopeless. She nearly got caught up in one on Facebook (she still gets wall posts and messages confused) until we stopped her and pointed out how he could view things on her profile to know what to say and how obviously fake his photos were. It also never really occurred to her. Oh and she was recently widowed. Probably the main thing!

They often target those they can work out are vulnerable and/or learning disabilities. Very sad.

I think it's easier to be sacked in if your doing online dating. My friend was twice as she is not stupid at all. Luckily she didn't pay out when asked. I think the promise of a rich handsome business man offering a future was worth a punt. I was amazed how many months it took before going for the accident news.

Gently warning of scam fell on deaf ears so I didn't push it. Some people aren't naturally suspicious

And we know all the obvious ones now. If there was a new way we might get fooled.

I wouldn’t because were I to find myself single again I would stay that way.

It did happen to a friend though. Single mum with two kids, one with additional needs. She got into a relationship with this guy and they were together for about 6 months. He stayed over one night and when she woke up in the morning he had taken everything, kids games consoles, tv, laptops. She was on benefits at the time and working a very low paid part time job. I don’t think she got anything back.

I think a scam can happen at any time. The way that a man can have a child with you and then disclose that he never intended to marry you or even buy a house with you.
The man who tells you that he can't commit until he's 'working on himself' (whilst sleeping with you)!and that he would be ready one day, until he immediately commits to someone else. The man who is in a long term relationship, says he doesn't want kids, and then splits and immediately has a family with someone else.
Aren't these romance scams too?

No.
I don’t want some bloody annoying man messaging me, sending dictures or trying to romance me. Yuk.
I am skint anyway so I am low risk.
A friend of mine has been scammed by a handsome man, in his profile picture he is topless and holding baby chicks. She’s given him over 1k 🫤

@RicePuddingWithCinnamon Jesus Christ! Not the baby chicks on the pecs!

Has he got a friend 😋🤔

I've had a few random friend requests on facebook recently. Obvious would be scammers.

Nope. I got a classic friend request yesterday - good looking US serviceman widower- aye right!

No doubt he had a sick child, gold waiting to go through customs or had had some kind of accident en route to the airport to meet me.

I can't understand the ones who go on for years sending thousands to these people without ever meeting them.

He’s never mentioned one. Would you like me to ask? I know he’d only have good, reliable friends.

There's a lot of those chaps floating about. Perhaps they should start a support group?

Someone came into our neighbourhood Facebook group one evening and said "This guy is chatting with me, do you think it might be a scam?". She posted a couple of screenshots and it was obviously catfishing. After about 20 people had told her that yes, it's definitely a scam, she said "Oh dear, another one. I fell for the same thing about 6 months ago and only found out he was a scammer when I'd already sent him money". Unreal.

(If this post looks familiar, it is, as I already posted this a while back on another scammer-related thread. But it seems worth repeating.)

I loved the fact that I got one when my profile pic is me in the wedding dress. Like seriously!

I watched BBCs For Love or Money, long before Tinder Swindler etc was on. In these cases the scammers seek out vulnerabilities, the recently windowed seemed most at risk. Often the victims would keep sending money even when their families told them it was a scam and tried to stop them. It’s like anything, if it seems to good to be true, it will be.

I suppose what I don't understand is the urge to be in a relationship. I'm watching 'twin flames' on Netflix now and I can't believe these young, hot twenty year olds are spending so much to find their true love. Why don't they just hang on? Why the rush?
Same with love is blind, you're children, just chill out, shag around a bit more.

That might be more an urge to get on Netflix tbh?

@DanielGault too true!

I think most people have the potential to be scammed by a really good, takes their time to build trust scammer.