Another lunch ruined by other peoples’ children

[Bakeoffskateoff]

Am I being unreasonable to get really pissed off with other people being unable or unwillling to teach their children to sit quietly in cafes and restaurants. Went out for lunch today to our usual weekend cafe. Two lots of families with kids aged five to eight who were noisy, whiny, annoying, sat on tables, crying. I had to hurry my lunch down to get out of there as soon as possible. I’m sick of parents who think little Freddie is so cute for making loud tractor noises, causing other diners to turn around. No one else appreciates your child quite like you do.

If you can’t teach your child manners please don’t take them out where there are other people.

Absolutely but they don't have the right to act feral in public spaces. They shouldn't be such a nuisance that they're disturbing other people.

Children aren’t just ‘mini adults’ they are developmentally different from adults and aren’t capable of the expectations adults place on them. You can be the best parent in the world and children will still fidget, raise their voice and misbehave from time to time.

Totally agree. To those arguing it’s ableist to object to a child continuously screaming, what about those ND people for whom that would be extremely distressing to listen to? It works both ways. Small spaces such as cafes are not ideal for kids who struggle to stay quiet, whether ND or NT.

@2024theplot exactly! I can tolerate a crying baby or whatever but a child who is old enough to learn should be taught how to behave.

@TTCX2 we aren't talking about fidgeting though. No one expects kids to act like robots or be perfect but we are talking about kids running riot and being really noisy. Age 3 and up a neurotypical child can be taught how to behave and rewarded / disciplined. It's just common courtesy to think of the diners around you surely.

Yes 100% wouldn’t allow my 3 year old to be disruptive but also feel a better balance should exist where families can take their children out without fear of judgement and without having to turn to screens to keep them sitting and quiet!

Exactly! And when we are out with friends' babies, if they start crying one of us will either settle them or take them outside until they settle. I can't stand parents that just ignore their crying or misbehaving children in public.

Absolutely I agree and if you read my previous post the problem isn’t parents at their wits end trying and teaching the right way to behave. It’s the parents who allow their children to disturb others. They’re the problem and as a result they’re children are a nuisance

You'll never win. No. You are not supposed to be able to enjoy a cafe because you are supposed to find all level of noise acceptable because they are only kids. Shouting, screaming, loud repetitive noises- all good. At no point should a younger child be distracted to quiet down- don't you have kids, you shouldn't go out because you're the problem, etc. welcome to a good old flaming.....

Another form of bad parenting. “You can have a pudding if you eat your meal” DC leaves some of the food and still gets a pudding.

That is teaching the child FA

Why is a common assumption that people who don't like noisy,badly behaved children don't have children themselves? I am a parent but I get driven mad by the screaming,whining ill-behaved kids that seem to be in every cafe, restaurant and coffee shop that I visit, and on every bus or train that I travel on!

Bugbear! I’ve had one have dessert and the other not for this very reason. Partner you’re so harsh? Why am I? I made it clear if you’re full you’re full and that’s fine but that means nothing else. Why am I harsh for following through but kids not out of order for playing the I’m full card and expecting dessert. I mean instantly after not in 3 hours time. My other thing is is if dinner is left and they’re full and they really haven’t made an effort to eat, if they plead starvation 4 hours later I offer fruit. Suddenly not hungry. Kids hey they know how to play and who to play.

See I actually think its really weird to make kids stuff themselves in order to 'earn' dessert.

OMG! This is a good 18-20 years ago. In a restaurant with extended family. The table behind us had 8-10 adults with 3 very young babies- guessing the eldest one was 3 months old. Cannot remember if adults were related or friends. They were left in their prams/pushchairs in a row making it difficult for my family having their backs on them wanting to leave table for visiting the loo etc.

Anyhow, all three babies started to cry. Not one of the parents checked on their babies.

What’s the point of going out when you are going to clog up the dining area with baby transportation and their cries? Again another thing you should revolve your life around your DC and not treat them like an inconvenience

No they’re not forced. Absolutely not but you can’t say I’m full and can’t eat anymore but then miraculously have room for dessert within 10 mins just doesn’t work. Today we had a roast. Kids had loads. I was fully aware they may struggle and they did, it wasn’t finished and they were full. I said don’t eat anymore you’ve had the veg and meat and done a really good job. They had Easter eggs 3-4 hours later no issue. We went through a stage tho of being “full” and within 15 mins they’d be asking for sweet treats. We clocked hang on a minute you’re too full to eat a proper meal but not snacking. That’s when we said if you’re full, it does mean you’re full. We’re not wasting good food or money.

I can absolutely be full from my main meal and then have room for dessert 10 minutes later 😋 🤣

I'm so with you. I very nearly trod on a toddler lying on the floor behind my chair in our local cafe. It made me stumble and I spilt red hot coffee all down my arm and into my handbag. The parents were sitting two tables away and couldn't have been less interested when I pointed out what had happened. Restaurants and cafes are categorically not soft play areas or playgrounds. I wouldn't dream of plonking a dining table and chairs, with table cloth and glassware in the middle of a children's activity centre and requesting a three course meal. Why? Because it wouldn't be fucking inappropriate that's why!

We know when we’re being played by the kids. As I say, today they didn’t finish but they had a bloody good go so they did have snacks later on. But it was meal after meal of im full and leaving two thirds to then snack. We weren’t going to make a rod for our back there

Sorry it should say because it wouldn't be fucking appropriate that's why

Yes, parents should control the kids better as OP stated.
However, it can be hard at times
We are lucky, possibly skilled and our kids and GC all behave to a very good extent.
I guess the OP is having a go at the parents, step-parents etc not bothering to control them

The reason we don't often eat out is because of kids like the OP stated and more so, adults who lack manners/decorum/etc

A very good exmaple why kids should be controlled in dangerous environments like this where there is often very hot drinks about

They can. They can manage the behaviour of your children. You might think your angel's tractor noises are cute. I don't!

"Exist", yes. Torture, no.

Would you be happy if I ran screaming round a restaurant while you were trying to eat in peace???!!!

Of course not @Runnerinthenight but you have the capacity to know better, some children don’t.

And how would you do that?