In laws not bringing anything for Easter

[Lolajoe]

I hosted an easter lunch which included my side of the family (mother, sister, grandma and cousins) and my in-laws (they don’t have any other family in this country). When my in-laws turned up my husband brought in 2 dairy free easter eggs that they’d given him (my husband and daughter are allergic to dairy). There was nothing for me. No egg, no flowers, not even a bottle of anything for me as the host who was cooking lunch for everyone.

My family bought flowers, wine and a non-Alc bottle and chocolates for me, my husband and our daughter.

Does anyone think this is strange? I can’t help, but feel like it’s rude, but my husband doesn’t bat an eyelid, which then makes me think I’m being totally unreasonable and making a big deal out of nothing.

My mum gave me an egg but it was to share with dp. She was cooking though not me! I have her flowers and chocolates

I always take host gifts to friends but close family is a bit different.

Last time my parents came round, they brought some fruit that was reduced at the supermarket! I didn't take offence, it's just how they are. Sometimes they will see something that DH or the kids like and not being anything for me, it's not a big deal

Exact same thing happened to us when we had our babies. They do have the money but are just very tight with it it seems. I always say to my husband I can’t understand why they’ve never been in a shop and got the kids something because they just saw it and thought about them but it’s literally never happened. Whereas my family have something for my kids every other week just because they saw it, even if it’s a tiny thing. It’s a weird one

It's very rude. It's worse that you were singled out as the one not bought for.

Well I wouldn't expect an egg as an adult but some wine would have been nice! And as they did give one to your husband a bit mean to exclude you.

Yes this is what I am trying to say. Hosting close family is different from friends, andI doubt the ILs were deliberately trying to exclude OP unless they have form.

I would never go to someone's house for a meal without wine/ flowers.

But the OP isn't family?

LOL this is so funny. You offered to host them, they don’t need to bring you a gift.

I honestly couldn’t be arsed to give this much headspace. It’s a bit thoughtless, and it would momentarily piss me off. But then I’d just get on with my day and my life.

It is rude. You and your DH are hosting, which is why they should have brought an appropriate gift (for the both of you).

Wine, chocolate, flowers, a colomba. Something.

Am I the only one confused why an adult would be bought an Easter egg?!

Maybe he really likes them.

Do they have financial probs and if you think, no. Perhaps they have money probs they don't share

It’s definitely rude when they bought DH and DC something. Rude and deliberate.

@PumpkinsAndCoconuts I don't just mean OP's DH! 🤦‍♀️😆 Any adult. Easter eggs are for children. So is throwing a tantrum for not being bought one!

And (some) other adults may like them as well ;)

No one in our family brings stuff to a family dinner - no wine chocolates flowers etc

They might bring a dairy free something just for the diary free people as it's not that long ago that diary free people really missed out on Easter treats

So Perhaps it's just a different culture/ background - your family bringing all that for you sounds weird to me !

Buying an egg for your DH but not you is quite odd. Fine to just get eggs for the kids but getting one for your DH changed it...to quite thoughtless as there was no flowers.

I wouldn't be bothered about the lack of wine/flowers otherwise (on the assumption that they host too - if they don't bother and expect you to do all/most the hosting then that changes again).

Family!

I don’t take gifts when I eat and my parents’ house and they don’t bring them for me. We’re family, we eat together, it’s not a gift situation

Friends and neighbours, yes, immediate family, no.

The weird thing is taking an Easter egg for your adult child and not your DIL. Either just for children or for everyone, I’d have thought.

(Did I miss something in the OP to say she does all the work? Isn’t it more normal for it to be a joint effort?)

If I invite someone to my home it's also because I want them there. If they turn up with a gift for DH, a gift for my children, a bone for the dog and a carrot for the rabbit, but nothing for me, I'd be p!ssed off too.

OP is right to be miffed at what is either thoughtlessness or deliberate snubbery. Either way, it shows what they think of her - they've either consciously decided not to buy her a gift or (even worse) they subconsciously didn't even consider her when buying gifts.

She might have wanted them there for this occasion, but has every right to reconsider whether she wants them next time.

I wouldn’t expect an Easter egg if I was hosting an Easter lunch but I would consider it a bit rude if I was hosting and my guests didn’t bring a small bunch of flowers or a bottle of wine. I would never turn up empty handed when being a guest in someone else’s home, I will always take flowers and a bottle of wine or fizz and my DH will always take a few beers and leave behind any that haven’t been opened.

Personally I think it is rude to invite family to your house and point out their bad manners in not bringing you gifts.

Some people are just fucking idiots, wrapped up in themselves, only stick their ugly head up if there is something coming their way.
Rather like something coming out of an apple.
Soz for being harsh.

A token bunch of tulips for a few pounds would have done it, but no. They thoughtlessly left you out. Mean spirited. I would not be in a hurry to invite them much after that.