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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To have asked him to choose a different sandwich

684 replies

Medsy · 30/03/2024 13:04

Don't know if it's because it's Easter or what but my local co-ops sandwich section was totally barren, only meat sandwiches left (I'm vegetarian). I saw a man go for the last cheese one there was, so I asked him if he was vegetarian and if not, would he mind if I had it? A woman (wife?) appeared and went batshit at me and called me rude.
It made me quite pissed off actually. I wouldn't have a problem with say a gluten free person asking me if they could have the last gluten free sandwich.
WIBU?

OP posts:
Justpontificating · 30/03/2024 21:26

Medsy · 30/03/2024 13:21

I'm hardly going to jump in a train with a loaf of bread am I?!

Show quote history

I’m a veggie and I go on self catering holidays with my own frying pan.
It’s best to just be prepared….dibdib😁

FasterthanaButteredOtter · 30/03/2024 21:31

So the wife didn't go "batshit" Hmm - she just pointed out that you were rude. Which you were.
Ps vegetarianism isn't a philosophy.

mirax · 30/03/2024 21:31

Medsy · 30/03/2024 16:52

Well clearly I live on another planet (duly accepted!) because I actually feel the complete opposite to you. I find it concerning and sad to live in a society where someone can't politely, in a friendly way and applying no pressure, ask if there's any chance someone would be okay with swapping sandwiches. It's hardly "Hey do you mind if I take a dump un your basket?" is it?
He could have said "actually I'm veggie too" or "actually I've been really craving a cheese sandwich, sorry!" and I would have said no problem! Or he might have said "sure, I was torn between that and the chicken coronation anyway so knock yourself out".

Show quote history

Except you werent all that airy when given actual feedback were you? You ignored the woman who spoke up too, using her voice and felt angry. You left the couple with a passive aggressive dig. You are not a monster of course, not a single pp said that, so this is another deflection of yours.

minipie · 30/03/2024 21:32

Your philosophy is a preference.

HTH

GlitterBall91 · 30/03/2024 21:32

Firstly yabu for comparing vegetarianism to gluten intolerance/coeliac disease.. i say that as a vegan with a coeliac child.

But anyway that’s not the point- yabu also in relation to your question

TakeOnFlea · 30/03/2024 21:33

The fucking cheek of you 🤣🤣

Pmsl, the state of this world.

mirax · 30/03/2024 21:35

SmokedPaprikaPuffs · 30/03/2024 21:10

I'm vegetarian and way too socially awkward to ever ask this of a stranger. I maybe would have asked a friend I was with but not just a random man who happened to take a sandwich first.
The wife having a go is funny, bet she's still going on about it now.

We have incontrovertible evidence on this thread that it is Op who is still having a hissy fit over the incident. I suspect the batshit one isnt the wife.

Deathbyfluffy · 30/03/2024 21:37

Lougle · 30/03/2024 21:26

You were confident, I'll give you that. I was standing in front of some reduced sandwiches, so phoned my daughters to ask what they wanted. As I was doing so, a man grinned and reached around me to swipe all the good ones.

So you hadn’t selected any and they were all up for grabs - fair game.
Totally different and perfectly acceptable IMO

ZoeCM · 30/03/2024 21:38

Genuinely surprised this isn't at least 95% YABU!

xyz111 · 30/03/2024 21:44

Classic Aibu?
Everyone : yes
Op: no I'm not.

Offredsrevenge · 30/03/2024 21:47

I wouldn’t have minded you asking, but I’d have felt a bit awkward if there was only cold meat sandwiches left as I don’t like them!

I wouldn’t ask though, but did loudly exclaim to my then fussy toddler DS, “oh no they haven’t got the only sandwich you’ll eat today, they’ve run out of plain ham sandwiches” as I saw somebody take the last one. They looked over but didn’t offer it up! No way would I have asked them to swap! 🤣

boychucker · 30/03/2024 21:47

SherrieElmer · 30/03/2024 17:46

Jesuschrist, the fucking cheek of you to ask for that. It you have opted to be a vegetarian that is you and your problem. Do not make it somebody else's.
Shameful.

Shameful. 🤣🤣🤣🤣

ZiriForGood · 30/03/2024 21:47

Medsy · 30/03/2024 13:16

Because you don't buy them because of preference, I don't buy them out of philosophy

Show quote history

Wtf? Why does your philosophy of vegetarianism trump a philosophy of reducing ultra processed food?

I'm not vegetarian, but I don't like eating majority of meaty sandwiches, and I don't want to explain my preference to random entitled vegetarian.

Headinthesand21 · 30/03/2024 21:50

Sorry but you were rude and it’s a strange thing to do. I say that as a vegan

StarlightLime · 30/03/2024 21:52

Offredsrevenge · 30/03/2024 21:47

I wouldn’t have minded you asking, but I’d have felt a bit awkward if there was only cold meat sandwiches left as I don’t like them!

I wouldn’t ask though, but did loudly exclaim to my then fussy toddler DS, “oh no they haven’t got the only sandwich you’ll eat today, they’ve run out of plain ham sandwiches” as I saw somebody take the last one. They looked over but didn’t offer it up! No way would I have asked them to swap! 🤣

Why would they offer it up? Make him one at home if he's that fussy?

easilydistracted1 · 30/03/2024 21:54

I think you were super rude. You have zero idea if he had any food restrictions himself. I'm vegan, my wife is very not vegan but has a really restricted plain diet linked to being autistic. She probably would have given you the sandwich and not eaten if alone. I would have told you where to get off and pointed you to the rolls and homous if you were there

MaryFuckingFerguson · 30/03/2024 21:55

Did this really happen? If so, you’re utterly ridiculous. I wouldn’t have had a go, as I’m classier than that. But I would possibly have politely laughed.

Moro93 · 30/03/2024 21:58

Talk about entitlement…

It was incredibly rude to ask. I’m presuming the woman knew the man (like you said, maybe his wife or something) if she called you out on it. He could be shy or something for all you know and she was worried he’d feel pressured.

I would have just rolled my eyes if I overheard but if you’d asked me I’d have probably been quite rude and told you not to be so entitled.

I also eat meat but only get cheese or cheese and onion sandwiches if I’m buying one.

I can’t believe you’d actually say ‘good luck’ to the man as well and still think you aren’t rude 🙄

Lougle · 30/03/2024 22:03

Deathbyfluffy · 30/03/2024 21:37

So you hadn’t selected any and they were all up for grabs - fair game.
Totally different and perfectly acceptable IMO

Show quote history

Perhaps, but it was a small trolley, and I was standing directly in front of it, so he practically had to hug me to reach around me, so I did feel he could have at least said 'Excuse me.'

Alargeoneplease89 · 30/03/2024 22:06

Poppasocks · 30/03/2024 15:22

My husband has multiple food allergies and if you'd have done this to him i'd have given you a mouthful of abuse as well!

YABU

Op isn't a mind reader and asked - she didn't demand... People are so odd and aggressive.

Longma · 30/03/2024 22:12

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines. at the request of it's author.

Livelovebehappy · 30/03/2024 22:13

Medsy · 30/03/2024 13:04

Don't know if it's because it's Easter or what but my local co-ops sandwich section was totally barren, only meat sandwiches left (I'm vegetarian). I saw a man go for the last cheese one there was, so I asked him if he was vegetarian and if not, would he mind if I had it? A woman (wife?) appeared and went batshit at me and called me rude.
It made me quite pissed off actually. I wouldn't have a problem with say a gluten free person asking me if they could have the last gluten free sandwich.
WIBU?

I guess it depends how you approached him, and the tone. For his wife to kick off like that, I suspect your query came over more aggressively than you’re suggesting here.

Crayfishforyou · 30/03/2024 22:15

It’s OK for you to ask. It’s OK for him to say no.
End of.

Alargeoneplease89 · 30/03/2024 22:15

84% of people are batshit crazy, honestly can't believe people think you are unreasonable just asking?

KeinLiebeslied54321 · 30/03/2024 22:16

Lougle · 30/03/2024 22:03

Perhaps, but it was a small trolley, and I was standing directly in front of it, so he practically had to hug me to reach around me, so I did feel he could have at least said 'Excuse me.'

Show quote history

Perhaps, to him, you were trolley blocking.