I hate our holiday and want to go home

[Backwoods57]

I need to rant.

Day 10 of a 13 day visit to the UK. We moved to the USA in 2014 and have to come back every year because MIL can't afford to visit us, and is scared of flying. We are in Aldershot/Farnham area. There is nothing to do apart from walk up and down dead high streets. Traffic is terrible, I smell the pollution and cigarette smoke everywhere.

If we don't come we get a massive guilt trip about MIL not seeing grandkids etc.

This trip cost $4000, we have done very little apart from visit family and sit in my SiL's cramped dirty messy house.

2 weeks of my 3 week vacation allowance has been thrown away. I have start working remotely for A. Something to do, and B so I can claim some vacation days back.

I miss my home, our dogs, I miss countryside and wildlife, I want my space back.....and tap water that doesn't taste like bleach.

This is someone showing off that she now lives somewhere superior but only gets w weeks paid leave so is sulking like a child just stay at home next time.

Op won't like Europe. Her idea of holiday is hunting, shooting in wildernesses, not architecture or culture. She prefers hunter, gatherer style of holidays

Get day returns on the train down to the coast, or stay over there. Go to places locally on the bus so you are less restricted by sil's needs.
I'm sorry you're having a miserable time.

YANBU at all. Next time come to the UK for one week and only one week to visit Mil, visit Sil, then go back home or to some nice place in Europe. Or you could spend a few days in London, then a few days with Mil, then go back home. It's not your responsability she doesn't want to fly after all. I have a child living abroad and we're travelling very often - both ways.

I was in a similar situation, although the distance involved wasn’t as far the visits were more frequent.
I do feel for you. It is horrible when you have a trip that you feel obliged to carry out and it is an expensive misery.
I agree with the comment ‘Take her to Scotland’ next time. That might be a good option.
😁

Can’t you rent a car? Sounds like you’re just unprepared for your trip tbh. You say you moved in 2014, do you have your own family and friends in the UK to visit too?

Its kind of what of make it, and it sounds like your making it awful for yourself. I don’t think you can blend anyone for this sorry

Plenty of camping options in the UK. I think you just need to make better plans

You have my sympathy, OP. I’m sure the cigarette smoke is crushing. It’s one reason I absolute LOVE living in USA. We don’t have to deal with that unless we really want to.

I’d take cigarette smoke over school shootings, but I guess we all have different priorities 🤷🏻‍♀️

YABU - if it’s so expensive, why not pay for person to come visit you and include her in your activities? More fun for everyone.

All you and posters like Op are doing is reinforcing stereotypes about Americans that they cannot accommodate and think USA is the best country.
You may not have cigarette smoke but your country is the 2nd biggest producer of pollution in the world, and 2nd only because they have outsourced a lot to China.

Sorry, that sounds rubbish. Maybe you could stop visiting and ask her to emigrate to live where you live. My parents moved to be near me.

Take back control and make yourself happy for the time you have left

When was the last time you lived in the UK? I honestly very rarely notice cigarette smoke (and I would notice it!). I work in London and commute from a very different kind of area, often visit other areas of the country too. It’s really not an issue at all these days in my experience.

I know that area well and I’m not surprised by your comments. If the weather is poor then there’s sweet nothing to do. It’s got worse since Covid. YANBU

You miss the countryside ? Go to the South Coast or New forest . How has it cost £4000 with no accommodation and car hire? I wouldn’t want to host you every year and drive you around if I was SIL . Under 5 s shooting and hunting sounds awful. . I would prefer them to make the most of all the opportunities in London , such as the Natural history museum .Hope you didn’t try and shoot any of the wildlife at Whipsnade .

And in real life this would not happen for most people, if you live on different continents. Did your parents move to a different continent?

Tbf I think the same as op. I’m in Scandinavia and when I go to London or Edinburgh it’s sickening feeling the smoke outside pubs or in the street. Or even outside shops. Went to a TK Maxx in Edinburgh and there was a gang of about 10 women smoking just outside so you had to walk through it. And they just tutted. So disrespectful and disgusting. But, I do love the UK and would rather go there than the USA.

Hire a car

Cigarette smoke is probably least of the USA problems!

Go back home lov...byeeeee!!!

Well it seems your experiences on your visits are very different to my daily experiences living here.

im sorry but this is simply down to your poor planning. Why didn’t you plan sightseeing/ activities to do, go see friends. Go a week to somewhere else in The UK. Of course you are going to be bored spending two weeks with the in-laws

I would offer to pay MILs air fare as her Christmas gift next year. Cheaper than 4k and lots of vacation days. Then her and DH can explore your area together and you can work. If she chooses not to use the ticket due to fear thats on her. Any guilt trip can be counteracted with her having a ticket paid for, sat waiting.

It sounds utterly crap: dont your family to visit?

I hate staying at people houses. I think 3-4 nights is the max

Can't you go somewhere else to break it up? A few days with family at the beginning and end of the fortnight would be the best idea