I hate our holiday and want to go home

[Backwoods57]

I need to rant.

Day 10 of a 13 day visit to the UK. We moved to the USA in 2014 and have to come back every year because MIL can't afford to visit us, and is scared of flying. We are in Aldershot/Farnham area. There is nothing to do apart from walk up and down dead high streets. Traffic is terrible, I smell the pollution and cigarette smoke everywhere.

If we don't come we get a massive guilt trip about MIL not seeing grandkids etc.

This trip cost $4000, we have done very little apart from visit family and sit in my SiL's cramped dirty messy house.

2 weeks of my 3 week vacation allowance has been thrown away. I have start working remotely for A. Something to do, and B so I can claim some vacation days back.

I miss my home, our dogs, I miss countryside and wildlife, I want my space back.....and tap water that doesn't taste like bleach.

You have a standard DH problem, and a defeatist attitude. Perfect storm. He can shoot, hunt, and fish, which are super essential - but can’t look after his own kids. You can’t communicate to him or compromise with him, in a way where you can actually enjoy your holiday. You take no initiative, and never in ten years has this place inspired you to plan properly. You were coming with him every year, as I understand it, before you had two kids under 5. I’m a lone parent and I’ve take my kids all over the world, tell him to get a grip. I can’t hunt, though 🙄

Go to Chessington world of adventures

On car hire Arnold Clark also do some good deals

Hire a car. Get a bus or train. Stop being so dependent. Nothing worse than a whinger who just sits around moaning while doing nothing to improve the situation.

I get that you don't want to be here, but as lots of other people have said you seem determined to make it as awful as possible. You're behaving as if you have no agency at all to make plans, create an interesting itinerary or just get out for a day. All these things are in your control. You're about an hour on the train from one of the world's great cities; get into London and hit some of the free museums etc even if it's too late to organise anything further afield. I'd go spare just sitting in someone else's house as well!

Hunting for fun (rather than for food) is disgusting.

Do you yearn to go to Africa to shoot giraffe as well? You’re so brave!

Sorry I think you are BU. Of course you are entitled to a fun and relaxing holiday, everyone is, but you have brought the situation on yourself to a degree.

When you move abroad (especially USA) you have to accept that you will a) have much less holiday b) have to use a decent portion of that holiday visiting / hosting family c) have to travel back home, especially as parents get older and find it more difficult to travel. I get it’s frustrating, my DB and family are in the US so I know, but it’s the choice you make.

So, how to make the best of it? As others have said, plan! Hiring a car is a must but Surrey is beautiful, so much woodland and AONB, loads of outdoor activities, beaches in reasonable distance. Yes the weather is not the best but as long as you are prepared you can work around it. As for feeling like you have to sit around MIL/SILs house, fuck that, I would just announce I’m off to do X with the family and they can come (or not!) - even if you have lots of days out and don’t see them in the day you’d still see plenty of them. We visited DB and family in the US for 3 weeks, stayed with them, but
hired a car and planned separate stuff and we still saw loads of them. We did activities together too, but no one wants to be in each others pockets for 3 weeks straight.

So next time just make a proper plan, tell MIL what you are doing (tell, not ask) and you will have a much better time.

And stop complaining about the water, that’s just silly. When we were in the US all the water was filtered even at home because the taste straight from the tap is odd. You just need to deal with it!

Try these
coral reef bracknell
the look out bracknell
rock climbing craggy island Guildford
laser quest at runabout farnborough
clip n climb camberley

What an utterly grim thing to teach young children. It is anything but an important skill in any western country.

15 days vacation allowance a year??? Give me the UK any day.

I hate the UK
I hate the water
I hate the pollution

Moan moan

Why is shooting annimportant skill??
Because you live somewhere where the constant threat of being shot is in everyone's head

Not such a great place

UK is beautiful, get out there and show your kids all the beautiful old villages and cities you miserable toad

Ugh....grim

If you don't like the water buy some filter jugs, they're not very expensive

Why is hunting an important skill?

Also why would you live anywhere where your holiday entitlement is so meagre

Fuck that, life is for living and holidays, not work

Also I do feel a bit sorry for SIL! I would not want to have to drive my visiting family around for a whole week while juggling school pickup.

For that amount would you consider getting her a ticket next time? And only DP takes time off to host her?

Yeah you are being a knob. You don't have to travel back every year but your MIL probably misses her son and her grandchildren.
You've not organised anything, you aren't bringing anything to the party apart from a moan.
Travel in the UK can be expensive especially over bank holidays but you already know that and to book in advance.
Your poor kids are no doubt fed up so why don't you dip into the money you aren't going to spend to come back next year to actually do something.

Do alternate years with MIL (pay for flight as an Xmas present??) That way you can carry on working whilst she visits you and you get to save your annual leave for the type of holiday you want.

Make some plans over next few days, hire a car/take a bus or train (go to a big city, visit some National Trust places etc etc).

And make an itinerary next time you visit the UK, there are plenty of beautiful and interesting places to visit.

You sound hell bent on having a shit time.
Today we have clear blue skies and you're choosing to sit around and moan.

Won't drive, won't hire a care, won't get on aa coach.bus.train.
Moan about the school runs your SiL has to do.
Complain about her house.

But don't worry - you'll soon be back in USA using that "important skill" of killing innocent animals.

Bet the in-laws can't wait to get rid of you and will breathe a sigh of relief once you're gone!!!

Weather is lovely and sunny - why not take a taxi to the railway station and take the train into central London? Loads to do and see there. Surely the problem is not the area, it's the face that you've not arranged anything to do. I'd be bored if I spent 2 weeks with my MIL as well so YANBU but you do need to motivate yourself and see some of the lovely countryside/cities.

MIL is scared of flying

Blowing animals brains out is not a “useful skill”

Would you have enjoyed the zoo more if you were allowed to stroll around with a shotgun practicing “useful skills”?

Because one plane fare costs less than four plane fares, MIL probably isn't working and does not have to work within the constraints of annual leave entitlement, and the contact almost certainly matters more to her than to anyone else involved. And people are allowed to 'move miles away', it isn't a crime that has to be atoned for.