To think more people WFH with DC than let on

[Thorts]

NC. Will preface this: I’m pregnant, and I’ve worked in the early years sector for lots of years. I cannot imagine working from home with a young child, even one who sleeps a lot, unless it is an absolute emergency and even then I can imagine work suffers or you end up making the hours back up late at night. Despite this I can totally understand why people do and would never judge anyone for it, you do what you have to do. The cost of childcare being the main reason and then the availability of it. Some providers didn’t have space until my DC would be nearly two and I was enquiring less than a week after finding out I was pregnant.

Reading some older threads on here, people seem to share my view or have stronger opinions about why it’s wrong to WFH with a young child.

However, my experience of what people do IRL (might just be among those I know) is vastly different. I know a handful of people in various professions who admit to either them WFH or their partner working from home with the child there, for at least one day a week, to help cut costs down. Even my DM who always worked a hybrid position used to work from home whilst me and my sister were very young and said she just managed it and enjoyed the flexibility!!!

AIBU to think it actually happens a LOT more in real life than people are happy to admit?

I honestly don’t know how parents work from home and look after their children. My dc are now 24 and 19 however when they were small I used to hybrid work. At first the days I was wfh my mother in law would come up and look after dc whilst I worked, we quickly realised that it wouldn’t work as they would inevitably want me to play. So they went to her home instead after that, it just wasn’t sustainable.

I ran my own company when DC were babies/toddlers. I remember taking a really important client call as I was changing a nappy in a soft play centre! I don't know quite how I did it, but I did and ended up with several employees by the time DC were almost finishing primary school.

i do but my ceo allows me to. If she had an issue with it i would leave the position and she knows this.

Would you have been happy for them to take client calls when changing nappies?

@Bumpitybumper
all my work is done via my smartphone. It's not necessary in all jobs to sit behind a laptop 24/7. I'm a senior manager and i can have days where i don't have to do anything other than send a few emails.

When my mum was working on her thesis she had papers all over the living room floor! I was 3 and 4 years old. I knew they were her ‘important papers’ and not to touch or step on them

Yes the ‘I can’t do you shouldn’t be allowed to’ sentiment is strong. Like saying teachers shouldn’t get the summer off because the rest of us don’t. Some jobs have perks that make it a bit easier to accept the shittier parts and for many people wfh is such a perk.

I still think that people are mad to do it with young DC at home but if management allow it, and many do, then it’s no one else’s business. I imagine that as soon as performance dips then the perk will be removed as many companies have already done.

No idea but me and DP WFH and it would have been tempting when the kids were little, I suppose…
Now they’re 11 and 13 they can be around at half term but obvs doesn’t mess with work as they can sort themselves out.

During the holidays my DD8 will generally have one/max 2 lazy days a week when we are working and she can read, do drawing, watch telly, play on her switch etc. Generally we will cover other days with childcare, A/L, swopping playdates etc. I'm senior manager in public sector, employer knows and it's fine. She goes to after school Tues-Thurs but Mon and Fri either my DH or I will do a late lunch and pick her up and she can then watch TV etc for a bit until we log off. Again absolutely no issues from employer and many of my colleagues and employees do similar. There was a member of staff who was caring for a young child whilst working and that wasn't considered ok as was impactful on work and child.

I do this on a Friday. But my work are aware. It was part of my request and they were fine with it.

by school finishing time the kids are exhausted so I set them up with snacks and tv (they are 4 and 6) and I move laptop to the dining table so I can keep an eye on them.

I tend not to schedule meetings during this time. I do my internal stuff.

Presenting this as a class thing in wider society is wrong, bearing in mind that eg NHS consultants and private dentists can't work remotely but poorly paid staff in call centres can.

But leaving that aside for a minute, the childcare sector is shrinking and some people simply cannot get the childcare they need. Do you really think significantly increasing competition for places is in the interests of cleaners and receptionists, particularly if the people they'll have to compete with can afford to pay more?

You also need to critically examine the idea that stopping people working remotely with their DC there would increase productivity nationally. Some DC with additional needs cannot go to childcare as yours does. Inevitably not all parents would be able to access and fund appropriate childcare, so the outcome in some cases is going to be people working less, meaning not as much in the pot and fewer skills available. These are things you need to factor in, if you're going to make an argument about productivity.

Even if you're on your phone rather than your laptop you are still distracted and not exactly being a present parent. It sounds like your senior job doesn't require much actual focus and work on some days. So not much 'working from home' actually going on. That's fine, but you haven't proved that fact that people can effectively work from home and be a present parent at the same time. This is because it's literally impossible to do this!

FFS all the people talking about paperwork as being actual papers... it's on a locked password protected computer with an authentication system. You do realise pretty high up people in the MOD and MOJ work from home too? Why are you more concerned about a LA social worker, mostly dealing with care homes, is not able to work from home whilst someone who has had to sign the official government's secret act can?
I have been for job interviews where there is no working from home due to confidentiality. It's easy to see why there are fewer candidates for these positions.

It is a class thing, unfortunately. As much as people don't like to admit it. That's why I really struggle with the arguments on here that people's careers are so specialist and unique that only they can do them, yet they can easily do this with a toddler or three, hungry, tired primary school aged kids.

My manager suggested it to me when my youngest started school. She said I cld pick her up bring her home for the last couple of hrs. I even leave the office about 2pm for school run when I'm in which is usually only 1 day a week max.

I only work 3 days a week. It works absolutely fine she just draws or colours in. Does her homework sometimes too.

Might be different when my youngest starts schools I'm not sure it will work. She's a bit more demanding and they can be prone to argue etc. so it might be a disaster and I'll need to change my hrs.

I don't know anyone that does it with young children. I've only done it with my youngest if she wasn't well. When they were babies I wld just take time off but since she was around 3-4 I try to work if she is just watching a film next to me. I tell my mgr and let her know I might not be online all day or if she goes downhill I'll be logging off. My employer is very flexible.

Sounds like an enlightened employer!

I think as long as your work isn't suffering, you are contactable and are honest with your employer it's a good thing for both. You get flexibility and your employer gets a dedicated and motivated workforce (with probably good staff retention rates).

Agree. To tweak the thread's title, I think more employers are ok with people wfh with DC than they necessarily let on outside the organisation.

@Bumpitybumper sounds like you are lumping wfh all into one basket and you think all work is the same. Its not. Everyone has different lives and employers. And yes i can be a parent whilst using a phone- like many people posting on mumsnet - are you saying they are also not parenting because they are using their phone? seriously that's just ridiculous.

'I am a project manager, delivering complex multimillion pound projects. I manage a team of five. I am part of senior management.'

£50k a year @FilthyforFirth? i take it you’re not london based?! or indeed in the SE!

it’s concerning that at your dining table you can log on remotely and have access to highly highly confidential personal information about people, including children, contact details, concerns

You do realise pretty high up people in the MOD and MOJ work from home too?

source? or so we just take your word for it?

Yes, just over £50k in the SE. Perhaps you missed the part where I said public sector.

I'm out of this thread. You can all think I am bullshitting if it makes you feel better.

you’re comparing your thesis

with a social worker’s access to highly confidential and private information about vulnerable people?

ok

It’s different if it’s say from 3-5 and your child colours, watches TV etc with no input from their parent.

oh dear, that’s peanuts for private senior management in SE

oh i believe you!
i just think you sound like you have a job with very significant responsibility including managing a team and all that entails…. for a pretty poor salary especially for the SE