Accidental crime...

[ChinChinDarlings]

NC, because I have become an inadvertent criminal.

This sounds unlikely but it true and I would like some advice and insight.

I was out today with a friend, lunch, galleries, bit of shopping. Tapping away merrily with my card.

My husband met me at the station to pick me up and I said I needed to go to the supermarket to get something and he asked what I'd been paying with all day because he had my card in his pocket.

We'd been away at the weekend and he'd been using my card because that was the card we had on us, I have a premium banking product and my card is very distinctive. I'd checked that I had my card in my holder before I went out today because I knew We'd both been using it at the weekend. Saw it was in my holder and have been tapping away all day.

The card I had in my holder and have been merrily using all day, is not my card. It belongs to a man I've never heard of. The only solution I can see is that I picked his identical card up that he left on a table and I assumed it was my card.

I have been spending a stranger's money all day. Shall I just phone the bank? Won't I look like a criminal?

TL;DR. I have accidentally spent some blokes money all day. I don't know what to do!

I can’t believe you are so laid back about this. You absolutely need to be calling the bank now!

Well, I'm still not a criminal.

If I realised and went out on a mad jolly, yes! Here is intent.

But I'm not a criminal, merely a woman who doesn't need any more admin...

This is exactly what I don’t understand. You’re actually coming across as quite entitled and rude, @ChinChinDarlings. I’m sure you don’t intend to, but this is how your posts come across to me. You’ve got yourself into a mess which you’ve found time to tell your husband about and to tell us about, and you’re saying you can’t be bothered to sort it out. It doesn’t come across well.

oh how dreadfully tedious all this must be for you... perhaps your butler can sort it

In the time you’ve taken to post all this stuff on Mumsnet, you could have sorted it. If this is true (I suspect not), I feel really sorry for the man who you stole from, and I kind of hope you get caught.

Don't think this is correct, definately not the case for my card.

Coutts will answer now. Or your wealth relationship manager. Wait, you do have one of those, don't you?

I'm laid back about it because it's a genuine error, not even theft by finding, it's an error. At the moment there's no criminality.

As soon as I realised what was going on, I stopped using the card and I'll call the bank tomorrow.

I'm not culpable. It's a crazy mix up.

Why wouldn't I be laid back. The feds are not going to be breaking my door down tonight or any other night.

Nah, I’m not buying this. It’s not an accidental crime. It’s just a crime.

I’m not sure what the point in you posting this thread was? If this is all a frightful inconvenience why not just get one of the butlers or your PA to solve it?
You’re coming across as really obnoxious.

I possibly cannot be arsed with sorting this out

So what is your plan?

It'd look better to call tonight, and honestly say that you've just noticed. They'll freeze his card, and then arrange a relationship manager to call you back tomorrow so you can arrange paying what you owe and destroying the card. They'll contact the man and let him know what has happened.

I don't think you should be cap-in-hand at the police station, but I do think it's weird that you won't call and sort this now, but you're worried that it sounds dodgy, and now you seem to be flitting towards just not sorting it at all because it's "admin". It's admin of your own doing, accidentally or not. Act as you'd want someone to act if they'd been accidentally spending on your card.

If the bank find out before you do, and they manage to link it to you, it'll look a LOT more suspicious than if you let them know.

Really?

Well I'm not intending to.

I'm not. I did post because I was absolutely bamboozled when I realised what must have happened. But it's sortable. In the morning.

It doesn't have to be done tonight.

I did just post because I was so WHAT!!!

Sorry if I've come across as a bit of a dick.

It was just a very unusual situation.

Appreciate the harsh insights.

It seems so odd that the man didn't notice his card was missing and reported it lost.

Anyway, your question was:

Shall I just phone the bank? Won't I look like a criminal?

TL;DR. I have accidentally spent some blokes money all day. I don't know what to do!

The answers you have been given here are largely: Yes. And possibly yes.

And, TLDR: Phone the bank.

Your response: Nah and nah.

So my question is....wot is the point of this thread? Other than to mention 'premium banking product', like, a lot.

I don't envy you having to explain that.

How do you not realise that not sorting this out now and leaving it overnight for this poor man to find out and panic about this theft (which is what he will see it as) because you can’t be bothered with the admin makes you sound like a dick?

I just don’t really understand why you’ve posted. People are giving you ‘harsh insights’ because you seem to think it’s entirely optional as to whether you sort this because you ‘possibly can’t be bothered’. I think people on here are pretty disgusted with your behaviour.

Me neither. Which is why I'm leaving it until the morning.

Lol okay then. Well you might as well bring this thread to a close because you seem pretty decided about what you want to do.

Bizarre responses from PP.

OP is going to own up, its a genuine mistake. I can quite imagine how this could happen.

I'm sure Mr premium account holder isn't down to his last pot noodle and facing destitution if she doesn't call a closed bank right his moment.

I think you've come across fine, OP. In fact, I am a little in awe of your laissez faire. If I were in your position, I'd be desperate to get it sorted out asap.

At this moment, I am fighting with myself not to look at WhatsApp, because I know my boss has sent me late-night messages (as she always does). The fucking idiot over-thinking part of my brain wants to know what she's sent, and start working on whatever bullshit pointless task it is. I'm trying to cultivate the ChinChinDarlings side of my brain that can switch off and have a pleasant evening, and sleep well without trying to solve problems all night.

I hate my job.

@ChinChinDarlings you are my spirit animal.

Why did people assume some sort of wealth associated banking card? My first thought was those neon Monzo cards.

Your spirit animal is someone holding the stress of somebody who will think they’ve had money stolen, and be panicking about the security of their bank accounts etc, over the inconvenience of making a late night phone call? Nice!

Because.

It's optional that I could just fuck it off.

I could just do bugger all about it & I pretty much guarantee that there would be no come-back on me.

There wouldn't.

So;

I can give myself a bit of a headache to explain why I was accidentally spending someone else's money.

Or;

He could, in a few days, realise that he has lost his card, there have been transactions that he doesn't recognise, to not that much 300-ish.

The bank will probably refund. I'm not going to get police at my door. That's not going to happen.

So. Really. My question is;

Can I be arsed to go through the rigmarole that this will entail or should I pretend it never happened?

I didn't say you could immediately transfer the money, but if you both use the same very posh bank, then there might be a way to do this fairly painlessly. If he has noticed unexpected expenditure on his account today, then he may already have been reported it as fraudulent use. The least you could do as a decent person is phone the number on the back of the card and report what's happened.

Yes, this.

No way this happened...