Am I being unreasonable to dread visits of my husbands sister

[JaneMumofTwins]

About twice a year we see my husbands sister and her husband. What happens is I get left with her and my husband finds 'manly' things to do with her husband. This would be OK if I found her company remotely agreeable but I don't. She is a stream of consciousness talker and a major hypochondriac. She talks over me continually and if she wasn't my husbands sister I would have no problem in just telling her to STFU, but I am hamstrung by family duty. I find her company so difficult I stop sleeping properly when she is in the house. I am sure she means well but I have endured 3 hours of her tedious boiler story and now she has underfloor heating issues I have completely lost the will to live. I have told husband that if he leaves me alone to deal with her again I will divorce him but I know that it will just repeat itself. How do I get her to shut up without killing her? Am I being unreasonable feeling this way?

I had a husband who would do this. Tell me we are invited to a weekend with family, get there and find out it was a cycling weekend for the men. Luckily I got on ok with my SIL.

I think you need to take control of these visits. Find out exactly what the men are planning to do, or preempt them by making plans that you can all do.

If the men just retire together to the shed, be a drip and follow them out there, and stick like glue.

Or do what one SIL did. I got roped into going to some concert (think lift music) with my SIL, BIL and husband. It was all organised by my SIL. When we got there she was the only one absent. I think she was home cooking - nice one SIL!!!

Practise nodding off mid relentless crap 🤷🏽‍♀️.

This would be my worst nightmare, if you met DH sis, you would get it!

Are you being held hostage? You've made yourself out to be a victim. You're a grown woman. Structure the visit differently. Do activities you can all join in. Tell DH you don't want to host her alone. Have a frank conversation and kindly tell her it bothers you. She sounds harmless and like DHs sister who has raging ADHD. She talks over everyone and can't focus to watch TV. She's completely mortified but can't control it. We work around it because we aren't utter pricks.

You seem very dramatic that seeing someone you find boring is enough for you to lose sleep

Next time they arrive be out with a friend. Simples.

Take her to a theme park? A few rides on a vomit inducing roller coaster should shut her up 😁.
But I do sympathise. My husband has a friend whose wife whitters on endlessly about nothing in particular, but at least I don't have to endure it for days on end. I'd be inclined to at least get out of the house - go to the shops - museum - zoo - at least you'd have something interesting to look at and you could maybe tune her out.

She sounds incredibly hard work. I'd put a film on and then at least even if she talks through it there's a chance that the talk will be something you can both engage in. And if not, you can tune her out to an extent? May seem rude, but her behaviour doesn't sound all that polite either.

I can’t stop laughing that this reply: Do you remember the picnic scene at Boxhill in Emma?

Emma is musing on one of the elderly widows in the party being tedious and makes a quip about how dull she is, which deeply hurts her feelings.

Later on Mr Knightly takes her to task for being a mean spirited and ungracious biatch.

He's right of course, and Emma is chastened.

OP - take note. by izimbra

is followed by I'd just drink through it tbh by m00ngirl

😅

I feel for you - I would be homicidal after four days of nonstop chatter. I'm wondering if you're in the Hebrides or similar, in which case options of carting her off to an art gallery or museum are a bit more limited. I think the frank statement that your health requires a daily rest period might buy you some respite - hard to argue against that.

and refuses to watch what we all like

Watch what she likes?

It's his sister. He should be making the effort to engage with her.

You need to book your annual appointments in. Opticians. Dentist. Just book them all in and spread them out.

Quite frankly I am now assuming you are another one like my SIL.

I have been doing that, but now even that avenue is closed as I have been told to stop any alcohol.

She is not autistic. In fact I am on that spectrum and it turns out sensitive to sensory overload. Which I think is the root cause of my problems with her. We have many friends and family who are either autistic or have traits, they are not an issue. You seem to be determined to be antagonistic.

I'll send her to you because I am obviously an utter prick, mainly because I am too polite to just fuck of and leave her on her own. Must be nice being so perfect.

Sensory overload, it's torture.

What if you just do your own thing, go off and have a nap, go see a friend and give her the hint that you don't want to spend time with her. It might put her off wanting to come in future. And what's wrong with that. You don't have to put up with people who don't bring anything to your life. Would your dh do this if it was the other way around?

Isle of Man

She doesn't seem to like anything.

Absolutely this

I think if she is like this with everyone is not likely something she can change and if it were pointed out to her she would feel terrible, how horrible to be told you're basically boring and unlikable and theres not much you can do and then be stuck with the people that dont like you for a week

So, use the time off to do all those errands and chores that otherwise just clog up space in the year, haircut, pedicure, opticians, dentist, chiropodist, do a dump run or two, do some baking/batch cooking, clean out the fridge/oven. She might witter on but your focus will be elsewhere.

Also are you able to cycle OP, go for a long bike ride with her, you cant hear a thing with a helmet on and the wind rushing past your ears.

Husband appears to know what she's like and actively avoids her.

I thunk you need to push for everyone together time. Tell him you'll divorce him if he's out of your sight!

In the meantime, bring her places silence is valued:

-cinema
-library
-theatre
-art gallery
-church

I wouldn't be able to cope, I've had a lifetime of people pleasing and Id just refuse to do it anymore. I'd leave the house for a hotel and wouldn't come back until she had gone.