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Original poster

To feel a bit jealous about this woman and DH?

108 replies

pinkmushroom5 · 27/03/2024 12:26

My DH has just had a very small promotion at work. It's been expected for a while and not a particularly big change from his current role, really. We went out for a drink to celebrate but no one did any cards/ gifts as it wasn't a huge thing (he didn't have to interview or anything like that).

But today I've noticed a card on the mantelpiece which is from a female colleague who is his junior, he sometimes talks about her in a friendly way but I didn't think anything of it. But the image on the front of the card is of a very specific hobby that he does in his spare time - she must have sought out the card from Etsy or something because it's not something you'd get on the high street.

Inside is gushing praise about how 'delighted' she is and how well deserved it is along with a little doodle of herself.

It's the only card he's received.

Is there something going on here? I feel a bit weird about it but I don't know if I'm being overly jealous.

OP posts:
hopscotcher · 28/03/2024 07:22

To give her a bit more benefit of the doubt, perhaps doing a doodle of herself on cards etc is her 'thing.' The old-school equivalent of putting your avatar on social media messages. I always (for some reason) put a smiley face next to my signature on personal correspondence. I would try to let your jealousy go on this one for now.

Laiste · 28/03/2024 07:30

I ... sorry .... really want to know what the doodle was like! How did she make it look like her?

Her head and neck? Does she have long hair? Or a specific hair cut?
Whole body like a stick man? Or more detailed?

I think you can tell a bit about what people think of themselves (or the bit they like other people to notice) by how they'd doodle themselves.

XRAYTHIS · 28/03/2024 07:33

Was the doddle if herself 'sexy', funny, caricatured features.

LunaNorth · 28/03/2024 07:35

I keep imagining a doodle of a woman with her tits out.

Knowing me, I’d pick up the card with a cynical expression, and say “Uh-oh. Do I have to wee on your feet?”

Talk to him.

PurpleFlower1983 · 28/03/2024 07:38

It sounds like she has a crush on him.

MrsJellybee · 28/03/2024 07:46

A single card from a younger female colleague on the mantel piece in your home? Why not keep the card on the filing cabinet at work? Or in the home study? Why in the middle of your living room?

Would he have displayed a card on your mantel piece from Bob from accounts? Or Val from purchasing retiring next year? Is this the only card he received?

He wants to see and look at it at home in the evenings. Why?

Laiste · 28/03/2024 08:01

LunaNorth · 28/03/2024 07:35

I keep imagining a doodle of a woman with her tits out.

Knowing me, I’d pick up the card with a cynical expression, and say “Uh-oh. Do I have to wee on your feet?”

Talk to him.

lol !

Same but didn't want to say it.

An even slightly realistic doodle of me would have to have big hooters and that wouldn't look innocent at all 😂

... which is why i'd never do one in a male colleague's card and keep wondering what hers is like.

Janehasamane · 28/03/2024 08:22

MrsJellybee · 28/03/2024 07:46

A single card from a younger female colleague on the mantel piece in your home? Why not keep the card on the filing cabinet at work? Or in the home study? Why in the middle of your living room?

Would he have displayed a card on your mantel piece from Bob from accounts? Or Val from purchasing retiring next year? Is this the only card he received?

He wants to see and look at it at home in the evenings. Why?

😂 that’s your take, he should have hid it and kept it at work?

rainbowstardrops · 28/03/2024 08:49

Have you mentioned it to him?

betterangels · 28/03/2024 08:53

MerryChristmasToYou · 27/03/2024 14:21

If he was shagging her he wouldn’t put a card from her up on the mantlepiece.
I wouldn't count on that.

Me either.

That's not to say anything is going on. But her doing this + going crying to him? I would keep my eyes open. It all depends on how he is responding.

Motti · 28/03/2024 09:19

I am similar to you OP in that I had a bad experience in a previous relationship & it did make me a bit more vigilant when I met my DP. A few questions:

How long have you been with DH?
Is he someone that attracts female attention generally? My ex was I guess classically good looking & I realise now that a lot of women had crushes on him. That’s not to say looks are the only driver of having a crush but makes it more likely! He also was quite insecure which is a bad combo.
How is your relationship with DH generally?

Ophy83 · 28/03/2024 09:30

I imagine that putting a doodle of herself on the card is "her thing" and how she signs cards generally

If there was anything going on he wouldn't be putting the card on the mantelpiece

Cathbrownlow · 28/03/2024 09:34

Obviously none of us can know for sure, but in my experience the card and the behaviour (the cliche sobbing to him but fine as dandy to everyone else) suggests that she wants something from him. I don't know what it is she wants. Something similar happened to me and my ex some years ago and well... it wasn't innocent.

Whatifthehokeycokey · 28/03/2024 10:35

It does sound like she's gone to rather a lot of effort to make it personal. Maybe she has a crush on him?

I feel like if he had anything to hide, he would have put it on his desk at work rather than displaying it at home?

I would probably comment something half joking to him like - that's a bit much, isn't it?

Whatifthehokeycokey · 28/03/2024 10:37

Also, I just want to tell a story about my ex. He was away (military) but me and two friends were crashing in his flat.

Anyway, the flat was full of cards from different women. Over friendly, gushing cards from women who clearly all felt they had a special bond with him. All displayed like trophies. My friends couldn't believe it.

Therealjudgejudy · 28/03/2024 10:56

Sounds like she has a crush.

I'm so intrigued by this doodle though.....

MoonWoman69 · 28/03/2024 11:23

hopscotcher · 28/03/2024 07:22

To give her a bit more benefit of the doubt, perhaps doing a doodle of herself on cards etc is her 'thing.' The old-school equivalent of putting your avatar on social media messages. I always (for some reason) put a smiley face next to my signature on personal correspondence. I would try to let your jealousy go on this one for now.

Exactly this, I always draw a bee, because that's my thing and people know me because of it! 🐝

Original poster
pinkmushroom5 · 30/03/2024 06:45

Lol, to everyone intrigued by the doodle, it's of her head/ shoulders, smiling, exaggerated curly hair. Could be an innocent thing she puts on all cards but I don't know.

Thanks for all the comments - lots to think about - I'm just leaving it for now and will see if anything else transpires. I've (mostly) relaxed about it and think it's probably nothing, or that maybe she does have a crush but DH is unlikely to reciprocate.

OP posts:
PoochiesPinkEars · 30/03/2024 07:04

Sounds good op. She might just be one of those people who 'does' cards. I was before kids and life overload came along. 🤣
Meanwhile, there's a brilliant little independent card shop near me that occasionally turns up absolute gems that are just made for so and so... I have one in my collection now (but have forgotten to post it! 🫠)...
So I think the card could easily mean absolutely nothing. 👍

Blink1985 · 30/03/2024 15:07

Keep us updated

CaterhamReconstituted · 02/04/2024 13:46

Newsflash. Women can sometimes be friendly with men. Sometimes these men - shock horror - are married!

I don’t think there is anything to this at all.

godmum56 · 02/04/2024 15:25

LadyTiredWinterBottom2 · 27/03/2024 13:00

A doodle of herself ?

He hasn't tried to hide it but l would be telling him to be careful not to give her the wrong impression. She could get shitty if she doesn't get her own way.

this from my experience. The genuinely nice blokes can be a bit blind to such things

Concannon88 · 02/04/2024 15:50

@pinkmushroom5 why is the card weird? Is it because he's told her about his hobby or is it because she's put effort into it and you think she's keen? I think the doodle of herself is the weird part

Mallani · 02/04/2024 16:18

This would also have my antenna whirring - given that she's taken her emotions to him (save me!) then really honed in on his hobby (look! I listen to every word you say and understand you!), I'd say she's fishing.

Maybe he still thinks she's just a friend, but this is how defences start to get chipped away.

willWillSmithsmith · 02/04/2024 16:57

If it’s all innocent then I’d be warning dh to tread carefully as she could be emotionally fragile. It could accidentally turn into one of those patient having a crush on their doctor/therapist scenarios, and they can get messy.