'Clean your own house'

[LovelyTheresa]

This is just something that bugs me about this site. Every time there is a thread about the etiquette of employing a housecleaner, whatever the question is, someone invariably says 'clean your own house'. Why is that? It is so utterly bizarre, nobody would say 'do your own plumbing' 'do your own plastering' or even 'do your own garden' so why is it seen as so odd to have a cleaner!? I have a cleaner, everyone I know has a cleaner. It is only on this site that that is seen as out of the ordinary.

My DH has suggested a few times that we get a cleaner and one time gave an example he had noticed his bedside table was dusty. I told him he was welcome to dust at any time!
I'm sure he suggests it to make himself feel less bad that he does barely any cleaning.

Likewise.

But then I don't live in London.

I actually don’t think my DH notices dust except cobwebs, he just wants it to be everything away and tidy, he’s massively into his cooking at the weekends and I think he just wants to be ready to go and in his mind tidy equates to clean, in my world the detail is important😂

I am the only one who dusts, I am always telling the whole family this as I do it. Equally, everyone appears to be sitting down, the teenagers, DH and muggings here is still cleaning and cleaning especially if we have friends coming over at the weekend for drinks or food, I am sure that is the only time the house is spotless. I work full time so it isn’t like I have all the time in the world but the to DH he works away loads and commutes so he is in late. My 17 year old is constantly telling me he doesn’t see the mess and he likes the character it brings to his room. Piled high dirty cereal bowls and old new clothes over the floor, college books and folders and the worse, wet towels!!

There is nothing wrong with having a cleaner.

There is something wrong with having a cleaner and then complaining that they are a nuisance / don't clean in precisely the way you expected / are too loud / are too quiet / are occasionally off sick etc. A lot of the posts about cleaners on Mumsnet are from people who have a cleaner and don't actually like what the cleaner does. And if you aren't happy with your cleaner, simply not having one is certainly a potential solution to that problem.

It's also not at all comparable to hiring a plumber or a plasterer, because a plumber or plasterer does work that most people are not actually capable of doing because they haven't been trained to do it. Those are skilled jobs. But most families absolutely are capable of doing their own Hoovering and wiping down their own surfaces, so cleaning your own house IS a perfectly reasonable alternative to suggest to someone who is having problems with their cleaner.

I can cook. I can cook pretty well if o say so myself. So an alternative to eating out is cooking for myself.

If a restaurant serves substandard food, I will complain.

Ditto:
doing my nails
Gardening
Washing my windows

And a host of other services I pay for that I could^^ do for myself but choose to employ someone else to do.

You probably do. Most people don't walk around telling everyone they have a cleaner.

@EmilyPlay

It does doesn't it. Is there a problem with that? The OP said 'everyone she knows has a cleaner' I said 'I don't know anyone who has a cleaner' Was I not allowed to make that comment without several posters jumping down my throat and reading more into the comment than what I said?
So the OP made a statement. You made a statement then I made a statement. And you took offence at my statement. Why? I didn't say anything disparaging to you.

Ditto my brother. There's a job for the cleaner so what's the problem?

I don’t want to hire a cleaner precisely because it will most likely be a woman and I wonder whether it is progressive to have another woman tidy up for us, especially if you have teenagers. Where do they learn responsibility for the mess they made.

The deal in my house is the kids need to tidy up their rooms and their playroom so it is clear for the cleaner to hoover and dust, if the room is messy, she doesn’t do the cleaning part and they do it themselves after school. My cleaner doesn’t tidy up, the house is tidy so she can clean properly. She’s an absolute god send.

In 2024, many mortgages/rental prices require two full-time salaries, as opposed to the one salary required 50 years ago. This means lots of the unpaid work is now outsourced—childcare, cleaning, pet care, cooking (Deliveroo, etc), laundry, gardening, food shopping. Most of us who have two full-time workers in our households don’t partake in all of the outsourcing options, but many of us utilise some. For me, it’s a cleaner once a fortnight and a shopping delivery mid-week.

Not sure why you’re so offended by that. PP has just offering the other side of the coin.

Ok, now I’m convinced you’re on a wind up.

I don’t know anyone who doesn’t have a cleaner! I’ve had one for years now. I do my cleaning so to speak and she does her’s between us we keep on top of the house. DH does plenty too. The cleaner is useful for a top level clean, but I’ll do the radiators perhaps or more dusting.

Do it. Cleaners often like the extra work

You could pay for more hours and ask for "housekeeping " so they will tidy up too

Don't know anyone who can afford a cleaner but if I could I would

No, I'm not on a wind up. I don't know if you read that thread but it was absurd. The cleaner was wearing perfume which was so strong it gave the OP headaches. I would have just advised to get another cleaner, but people were mortally affronted and told OP to clean her own house.

I don't, either. It is very very common in my circle. We all work long hours and want our free time to be just that.

Oh yes I saw. My opinion is that OP could put up with perfume or get a different cleaner but to request she wear a different one is incredibly entitled.

Fair enough, but can you agree that 'clean your own house' is an unnecessary reaction? (I actually don't agree that it is entitled, as long as you ask politely. The cleaner is free to say no, after all!)

We’ll agree to disagree re the perfume.

The ‘Well clean your own house’ is ridiculous and I don’t have a cleaner, could probably afford one at a little bit of a stretch.

A plumber wouldn't work for what you pay a cleaner and people that have cleaners by and large try to pay the minimum possible. It's not the same job/example. I don't have a cleaner because I prefer to do it myself as I do a better job for free

No but my parents/grandparents always moan when my husband pays people to do decorating and home improvements

@LovelyTheresa but then it's the admin of having a cleaner. The worst thing about people having a cleaner is they talk all the time about having a cleaner, finding a new one, complaining about them, tidying for them. More work than just cleaning.