'Clean your own house'

[LovelyTheresa]

This is just something that bugs me about this site. Every time there is a thread about the etiquette of employing a housecleaner, whatever the question is, someone invariably says 'clean your own house'. Why is that? It is so utterly bizarre, nobody would say 'do your own plumbing' 'do your own plastering' or even 'do your own garden' so why is it seen as so odd to have a cleaner!? I have a cleaner, everyone I know has a cleaner. It is only on this site that that is seen as out of the ordinary.

That's basically it.

Although I don't see it much, tbh. More often I see advice to get a cleaner.

This. And no man ever worries about his house being 'visitor-ready', or doesn't invite people over because it would involve a 48-hour cleaning blitz, or lives in dread of someone giving them a lift home who might ask to use the loo.

Then again, neither do I, or any woman I know, and I had no idea other women obsessed about it or still prided themselves on being 'houseproud' till I encountered them on here. To me it's like meeting women who were against female suffrage or equal pay, and fairly tragic and reactionary.

My mother and MIL were both cleaners till their retirement. My SIL is a cleaner. I've been a cleaner myself. I have a cleaner. Assuming you pay your cleaner fairly and don't treat him or her like some 19thc skivvy, whether or not you do your own housework is a complete moral neutral, and whether or not your house is clean (beyond basic hygiene) is also a complete moral neutral. You are not a better person because your skirting boards are dust-free.

I'm seriously considering getting a cleaner twice a week.

DH and I are both retired and no health or mobility problems.

We just hate housework as its so boring and repetitive.

We can afford it so why not!

I don't think it's unusual to have a cleaner but I'm always exasperated by the poster who says 'It has taken me three days to clean my house so I've decided to get a cleaner. Do you think two hours a week will be enough?'

I know it's easy to be distracted when cleaning one's own house but be realistic.

Also, I have a five bedroom, four bathroom house and four children don't think two hours a fortnight will be enough hours for a cleaner to clean the house from top to bottom?

I love having a cleaner. It's one of my little luxuries & I don't care what people think. My mum finally gave in recently & got someone to come to hers just once a fortnight for things that are getting harder for her to do & she wishes she'd done it years ago

I know loads of people who have one & judging by our local FB page there's a huge demand for them

We have one for 3 hrs every 2 weeks who does hoovering stairs/landings, bathroom, ironing and sometimes something kitchen related, ie floor, or oven, or fridge but never all 3.
I'd like her to do a couple more hours ideally but she is too busy to take any more work on.
We each clean our own bedrooms/living spaces.
I'd say if you can afford it, even for a short time it's definitely worth it. There are some tasks that everyone hates or has too much of to keep in check.

No one comments on a man not doing enough housework.
Have you met Mumsnet?

I think a small proportion of people on here see being a cleaner as a bit degrading and asking for advice on having one comes across (to them) as if you were asking for advice on employing a bum-wiper (like Henry VIII) to which the reply “wipe your own bum!” would be fair enough.

The rest of us see cleaning as pretty skilled work (done well) and perfectly respectable to do or to employ someone to do. I have a cleaner, I’ve also been a cleaner 🤷‍♀️

I think paying for a cleaner is a social good. People who have time, need money and don't mind doing housework get paid for it whilst people who don't have time, have spare (ha!) money and/or don't like doing housework are saved what is to them a chore. Not that I pay a cleaner, personally, for more reasons than one, but it does make sense.

The tooth grinding bit is when it all gets Margo Ledbetter and "a little man from the village delivers the vegetables". Ie "I have a marvellous cleaner what a wonderful woman" and then ten minutes of her virtues as a person: she has a job, she's presumably good at it, stop blathering on

Actually there is a good skit by the League of Gentlemen about this kind of social climber who is seriously pass agg to her cleaner and then it turns out the cleaner is her mother. Very funny and very true of some women who imagine they've transcended their origins by paying for cleaning

I don't know anyone who has a cleaner. If you can afford one though then why not?

I don't think you can really compare cleaning to plastering or plumbing. You have to train to be a plaster, plumber, electrician. Cleaning is a basic life skill.

Personally I begrudge paying anyone to do anything. I do the cleaning and dh does the plumbing, gardening, electrics. We both do the cooking.

I agree with this. It amazes me what people’s cleaners get done in two hours. They must be taking amphetamines before they get the hoover out. It takes me an hour just to clean the bathroom, and I can spend whole days deep cleaning the kitchen.

Arguments ‘against’ I’ve seen usually are along the lines of ‘rich women exploiting poor women’. A feminist argument I suppose - the employer being able to achieve some kind of self-actualisation by outsourcing their domestic labour to a poorer woman.

IMO cleaning is a job like any other, and creating a job for someone is surely a good thing.

As others have said, we don’t criticise people for using gardeners or for cleaning your car.

Because plastering and plumbing are skilled jobs and everyone wouldn't be able to just do them. But everyone can clean their house. That's why people say it. I don't know anyone with a cleaner. I would like one though.

I do the cleaning and dh does the plumbing, gardening, electrics. We both do the cooking.

So you do way more than him then.

On a general population scale its not standard to have a cleaner.
It's usually the well off or people who struggle with tasks due to either mobility or focus or motivation struggles.

Though a fair amount of men seem to benefit from acting like they have a cleaner judging by this site..

Begrudgery plain and simple.

I think it's mostly people saying 'clean your own house' when posters are complaining about their cleaners not cleaning a big house properly in 2 hours, leaving a few minutes early or being accused of nicking the family silver. Or one which amused me where the cleaner ate the fancy biscuits instead of the boring ones.

So?
If people want to employ one that's up to them.
Surely providing employment is a positive thing?
Lots of families have cleaners.

I don't think that's true. Anyone who 1) can afford a cleaner and 2) doesn't have time/doesn't want to spend their free time cleaning can have a cleaner and shouldn't face criticism for it. Its just a choice on how some people choose to spend their money over others.

My own home is quite easy to keep clean and my OH is very tidy, so we don't necessarily need one but I wouldn't be opposed to his idea of having someone in once a week to do the boring chores: window cleaning, mopping, ironing, and I hate hoovering with a passion!

Did I say they couldn't? I was just replying to the OP saying everyone she knows has a cleaner. I made no judgement. But go ahead and read into my comment what you will.

I do more cleaning but I get home first so I do a bit each day. Dh does do some cleaning too but not as much as me.

Because cleaning is easy and doesn't take long if your standards are... flexible... like mine! It's nothing akin to plumbing 🙄

I don't tell people not to have a cleaner, but I'd be loath to spend money on something I can easily do myself, and which gives me exercise and a sense of taking care of my home. I don't like the idea of someone else coming in and doing it, and all the fuss about "tidying up for the cleaner", "leave the alarm off for the cleaner", "have you paid the cleaner", "where has the cleaner put my magazine"... I'd rather live with more dust!

Or worse is the people who pretend the cleaner is a close personal friend just doing a friendly favour as God intended 😂

I don't know many people who have a cleaner. Surely most people don't.

I love my cleaner. She's been with me 15 years and she comes 4 days a week so she feels like part of the family.

I particularly love her for telling my teens they need to tidy their rooms before she will clean them. Having a cleaner is a lifestyle choice for me - I work long hours and have little downtime - and it is not an excuse for my DC to be lazy slobs who don't know how to use a hoover.