To think my child is likely to have more opportunities throughout life if I send them to probs to school?

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I’m not so much talking about the morality of it. But statistically, those who go to private school end up in the best jobs, have broader experiences of life etc. And this seems to remain the case throughout life.

I work in a prestigious/competitive industry and in my team 9 out of 11 went to private school.

Of course there are exceptions. But if I wanted to do as much as possible to secure the best opportunities in future for my child, AIBU to think private school is one of the key ways to achieve that?

Edited: private school not probs!!!

If your sole criterion is for your child to ‘do well’, knock yourself out. Of course, if your child is an academic underachiever for any reason, some private schools will not want to know.

Yes, if you are looking to leverage your money to spin into a better chance at money and privilege, then a private school education is a good shout.

But given the recent Telegraph poll, which suggests that 71% of private schools are at risk of closure over the next five years should the intended Labour policy to scrap charitable status for vat purposes go ahead, then you should be careful where to lay your bet.

I know plenty of people who've been to private school and come out with little/no qualifications and consequently ended up with not a great job. Private school doesn't guarantee 'great things'. But if you don't expect results and have the money to burn, see how your child gets on.

@JustGotToKeepOnKeepingOn that’s true. Just trying to maximise the chances I suppose.

This will go the way of all private school thread with nasty vitriol aimed at privately educated children being arrogant, small minded, snobs who "buy" better grades than they deserve. I work in the sector and my two attend due to the fact they were bullied and had unmet SEN needs in state. One will likely leave with few qualifications but that's not why I sent him there. I'm quite happy to admit I am glad he's not at school with the awful thugs who made his life a misery.

There's a huge variety of private and state schools and different ones will suit different types of kids. That's really about it. Good and bad on both sides.

I would never employ a person purely because they went to a private school, more on whether they are capable of doing the job role.

I'm not in the UK but the threads I read here about the state of the school system there and the shocking education my English relatives have recieved I would 100% send my kids private if I could afford it. They only get their school years once, as a parent it's your responsibility to make sure they are as fulfilling as they can be.

You’re asking on Mumsnet about sending your child to private school?! You must be new here 😂. Hope you have a tin hat OP.

I don’t think private school kids have a broader experience of life, quite the opposite. And it’s foolish to think that just because you get them into private school they get all the benefits that those from elite schools get. There’s a whole range of private education out there and you don’t get the same “leg up” work wise from a local private Christian school that you’d get going to Eaton.

There are advantages though if you’re focused on a good education leading to university and a professional job as the norms of the school and the other students and parents are going to align with yours. Private schools can also more easily avoid accepting kids who take up significant teacher time, so your own kid - if they don’t have behavioural/SEN issues - is more likely to get more attention even from the same average teacher:student ratios. But there are plenty of pretty poor private schools out there so you have to find one that’s good. There’s a lot of shoddy teaching and while schools can avoid difficult kids, some are desperate for students and will take kids they don’t have the resources to support well.

10 years ago I would have said if you are savvy and the state schools near you are good, you can probably serve your kids much better by investing school fees in extra curricula and a savings account. It can cost £250,000+ to put a kid through private school in London. That’s significant capital they could start their life with instead. But the way schools are going at the moment, I’m not sure about that. The lack of qualified subject matter teachers in secondary is a particular concern and the amount of unmet SEN needs in primary is really worrying.

It depends on the school and on the aptitude of your child. There are always going to be the really smart, driven kids who will rise to the top. But equally, there will be the middle who do well and are the average. A lot depends on where you go to university, how you get there is for another thread.

I worked at the London HQ of a large US company, 15 years ago you would see new hires from the second tier US/U.K. universities. Five years later, it was all US Ivies and Oxbridge.

In terms of opportunities, it probably opens more doors. But there’s a lot that private schools can’t teach and a lot depends on the parents, how much they value education, how much they push their kids, what they model at home etc… not sure it’s a simple as private schools are the solution.

I think you have to consider what type of private school and the ethos.

There are private schools that have stringent selection criteria and don’t welcome pupils who are of average or lower, ability.

There are private schools that accept all types of pupil, but may not have the teaching rigour you’d hope for.

There are private schools that are unable to meet the needs of SEND pupils and there are those that cater for specific needs.

I think if you send your child to a private school because you feel that it will result in a more prestigious career, then I would feel that it wasn’t the right reason. Small classes, good facilities and a broad range of opportunities would be good reasons. I’m not convinced that’s what you’ll get these days though.

It funny reading these threads where people are so against privates schools but then there is thread upon thread about how bad the state schools are at the moment, the pressure on the teachers, the lack of funding, the behaviour of the students etc, etc, etc!
My children go to private school, they have nice facilities, they have supplies such as art materials etc, the behaviour in the school is very good. The kids are happy and can learn in a calm environment.

So while it certainly wasn't our intention to "buy grades or prestige or make contacts" we are happy with our choice. My husband and I both went to state school, mine particularly was rough and to be honest sometimes dangerous. Of course it depends upon the individual school but that wasn't what we wanted for our kids.

This will go well.

On mumsnet it’s widely recognized that the state sector is in, well, an absolute state, except on private school threads where it is lauded as by far the superior option. Any problems present in private school are exclusive to private schools.

Similarly, all children should be supported to achieve their full potential and doing such would be an excellent thing, except when this happens with privately educated children it’s a bad thing and doesn’t count - they’ve dodged the educational hunger games which all children should be entered into.

I went to private school and had an enjoyable experience. I can’t compare it to british state education because I’ve never experienced that. In regards traditional indicators of success, the privately educated out-earn, on average, the state educated by 35% by age 25, being more likely to enter the workforce in a managerial position:

https://www.ucl.ac.uk/ioe/news/2019/nov/private-school-pupils-earn-more-state-school-pupils-age-25-ioe-research-reveals#:~:text=Private%20school%20pupils%20earn%2035,401%20among%20state%20school%20pupils.

Depends on the private school. Not all of them are equal

On a population level, yes, the outcome of those who went to private school tends to be better, but I think temperament and personality of both children and parents is a better indicator.

I went to a fairly average state school, but my parents were highly engaged and academic success was very highly valued. I did well, went to a RG university and am professionally very successful as an adult.

Would I have done even better at a private school (and benefited from the add-ons, such as social networks, access to elite sporting opportunities etc)? Who knows, and tbh it doesn't really matter, now that I'm in my 40s.

Similarly, I have friends who went to private school who either weren't as academically able or had less engaged parents and have kind of drifted.

I think the key measure of success is parental engagement, followed by natural ability.

Private schools might be able to improve on natural ability to an extent, but without parental engagement, you may as well set fire to fistfuls of £50 notes.

We are all trying to do the right thing. My eldest child has significant sen and would have been managed out of our local private schools but left state with his GCSE’s, is now working and doing an access to HE course, middle child might have benefited from private but seems ok at state, youngest would probably do ok anywhere.
have invested the money we saved into a property for each of them, which hopefully will give them some freedom to pursue the jobs they want:take some risks/explore other opportunities. But who knows.

We left the state system as my child was learning nothing and couldn’t cope with the noise levels, violent playground, bullying of anyone who works hard, arbitrary pointless rules, and depressed/overworked staff.

Child is now thriving in the private system. We chose a school where all children depart at age 18 with a high level of physical fitness, the boys as well as the girls are able to dance sing and draw, all children can play 3 team sports, know an instrument, are fluent in 2-3 languages, confident in public speaking, computer coding and basic military skills such as navigation, shooting and first aid. And yes we expect the academic and career outcome to be good but that would have happened anywhere, we aren’t particularly there for that.

If you have a very resilient child who doesn’t need much nurturing, or you live next door to an outstanding state school, then your child may be fine in the state system, but if you have a sensitive or intellectual child I’d advise you to seek out a well-matching private school if you can afford it. Take care though as different private schools aim to shape the children in very different ways (I’d never allow my child to attend Eton or Tonbridge for example).

A lot of envious bitchy types will be along to slag off private education, and gloat about Labour’s petty plans, whatever. Most of those people are total hypocrites who paid a premium to live near an excellent state school and thus bought their school places too. They’ll have zero idea what the bottom levels of state school look like and they know nothing about private education other than what they read in tabloids.

You can also ignore those who tell you that private schools will shut. Applications are higher than ever because the state system has fallen apart and also because of high demand for places from less politically stable regions of the world like Hong Kong. Even some day schools are finding that many of their students now come from overseas to live in a rented flat with a nanny.

At indie school we have found that roughly:

• 1/3 - 1/2 of the children are there because of bad state school experiences (racism, lack of SEN support, crap staff, etc)
• 1/3 of the children come from very wealthy families
• the rest of the children are there on assisted places (teachers’ kids, Ukranian refugees, scholarships/bursaries etc)

I hope you find a fabulous fit for your child.

DH and FIL very successful and privately educated. Friends DD is a school teacher nothing wrong with that but she won’t ever earn mega bucks, an acquaintance DS is unemployed and has been for a while.

It is no guarantee.

DH and I met in similar junior positions at work and I had been to a pretty bad comp.

It’s all the tone deaf pious types that get me in these threads who have found a great state school they are pleased with, and love judging those of us who choose private. The rest of us when facing a failing, violent hovel of a state school naturally choose private if we can.

It just depends on your child and your area.
I was the kind of child who (self motivated, reasonably bright, knew what grades i needed to get into medicine and stubborn enough to ensure i got them) would have done well anywhere. I was given option of a private school scholarship and turned it down, and went to a state school which they tried to close at least twice during my time there as it was so bad. And it was bad - I pretty much taught myself the curriculum from textbooks as teachers spent most of time in behaviour control. As a reasonably behaved child i went under the rader and did my own thing which suited me perfectly as prefer to figure things out myself. I came out with 9 A/A* at GCSE and 4 A's at A level and am now a specialist Paediatrician

My brother (also bright but very unmotivated) went to a private school and came out with a mixture of B's and C's and now works in a gym. But he struggled with bullying in state primary and needed the extra push private gave him to even get those grades.

In short, he needed private school for his mental health. I didn't need it at all.

Too variable to answer really. Depends on your child and the state provision where you are.

The vast majority of the population go to state and many do very well professionally/ career wise. Think the connections thing only for top public schools - the ones I know look down on your average normal private school! .

It depends on many variables, IMO. If you send them to private, will you be skint? Is there an amazing state school as an option?

My child is in an outstanding state, GCSE predictions 8s and 9s. Friend’s son is in prestigious private and predicting 5s and 6s. She can’t afford holidays or much in terms of enrichment, as every penny went on tutors to get into the school, and now paying for it. I spend no money on school, the enrichment and extracurricular stuff is amazing, and we go in fabulous trips and holidays which give my children a rich overall experience.

So in this example, I feel private is a waste of money. If you can send to private and still have lovely other forms of culture and enrichment, then why not? Does seem a waste though if, like me, your local outstanding secondary is sending a higher amount of kids to Oxbridge and it’s free.

Often the reason children with a private education do better,is nothing to do with the school, and everything to do with well connected parents.

I also work in a 'prestigious/ competitive' industry with a good deal of privately educated colleagues, the difference being, I didn't need a private education to get there, and nor will my kids.

There was an article about this in the Economist recently. It's actually hard to isolate the effect of a private school education, because children who have one tend to also be from wealthy families, with good networks and lots of other advantages as well. The article concluded that the very expensive, top private schools make a difference but it's harder to prove much economic advantage from the cheaper private schools.