To think my child is likely to have more opportunities throughout life if I send them to probs to school?

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I’m not so much talking about the morality of it. But statistically, those who go to private school end up in the best jobs, have broader experiences of life etc. And this seems to remain the case throughout life.

I work in a prestigious/competitive industry and in my team 9 out of 11 went to private school.

Of course there are exceptions. But if I wanted to do as much as possible to secure the best opportunities in future for my child, AIBU to think private school is one of the key ways to achieve that?

Edited: private school not probs!!!

@fishonabicycle that really is a very dated and inaccurate view. Other than a few of the very top flight schools, the "old boys network" doesn't really work anymore. What DOES is having a parent or friends' parents who work in professional industries who can give a young person an internship or work experience and as 93% of kids still attend state, that's plenty of white collar parents out there that state kids could access. Just saying "I went to X school" won't open any doors now, without accompanying grades etc and is just a short hand way of slagging off private kids' achievements. My students work incredibly hard for their grades and yes they have advantages of course, but in the end they sit the same papers as everyone else and are on their own.

As for the pp who talked about "shoddy teaching"..again, nope. It's a market out there and parents won't pay 15k+ for unqualified or crap teachers. It's a thing of the past so private schools go all out to keep well qualified and effective staff.

It totally depends on your circumstances, as others have said — if you live near an outstanding state school that suits your child’s temperament, there’s little point in going private unless you can comfortably afford it; if your state options are lacking and/or there are other issues at play (eg SEND, bullying) then it would be wise to consider independent options. FWIW my most “successful” friends (not necessarily the happiest/most fulfilled, btw) are a good mix of private/state educated - what they (mostly) have in common are professional/educated/well-connected parents.

Well you are being not only unreasonable but also extremely ignorant if you think it will give them broader experiences of life. Sending them to a school that only a small and specific subset of the population can afford to attend will do quite the opposite of that.

However, yes, generally speaking, a private education will give them far more opportunities and connections than a state education will.

@AffIt thanks this is v interesting point and helpful too

Same we’re state educated RG attending lawyers so we would struggle to justify the massive outlay. Anecdotally there is zero difference in “success” of friends who were educated state or privately - if anything the state educated ones are doing better financially. You look at your finances your child and your local schools and balance it all out. It’s not as binary as pay your money and watch your child succeed.

I agree that much depends on parental engagement too.

It also depends on what you regard as success and a successful life. Material wealth, happiness, contentment, a fulfilling job or career?

I think that if you equate paying for a private education with success, you might be disappointed if your child doesn’t achieve the academic success who’d planned, but it still requires parental engagement and support.

An expensive education that doesn’t result in academic success and progress, must be disappointing I’d have thought.

Save your money, go on some nice holidays instead

That’s what we have done. Dd1 has a clutch of 9s at gcse offers from top universities and is happy with nice like minded friends. Not sure what private school would have added. Better sports probably.

If you can afford it OP, do it, there are no guarantees about anything in life but as long as you choose the right school that fits your child temperament, you can’t go wrong. From what I have seen so far, the GOOD state school system in this country is a disguised privilege available to those who can afford the hefty house prices in the nice areas, the rest is a failing system that keeps the division and the inequality that so many of the privileged state school supporters bang on about. It’s a shame that good state schools are not available to all, and I don’t know any other country that sparks more of a heated debate about state vs private, a debate that often circles around wealth/entitlement/connections, but completely ignoring the real problem underneath of years and years of government neglect that have made many state schools simply dangerous to attend, schools that no parent in their right mind would willingly let their children go to, if they have a better alternative. This is the sad reality really.

I’m undecided on how much a private school leads to success in securing desirable jobs in competitive industries- it might be because people often employ people who are similar to them.

but there are lots of factors to consider- maybe coming from a wealthy family allowed them to pursue work experience without pay in an expensive city like London? Jobs like being a barrister require money to pay for training / living in London for example.

if it’s a high paying industry, the people in it are more likely to hang out with other wealthy people, so anyone looking for work experience etc has a greater chance if they’re in the same social circle.

my industry has a really high level of privately educated employees but I don’t think comprehensive kids ( like me) are barred. I think that few have the brass neck to apply.

chutzpah is free! but I suppose that’s mindset- and I think private schools are more likely to encourage ambition

Yes I agree with that. It’s the belief that you are as good as anyone else and have the nerve and the confidence to put yourself forward.

Nowadays there is a concerted effort by many employers to be inclusive so they are school and university blind anyway so the “connections” upside likely to be less key.

Yes, to answer your question. Private schools (a decent one) will offer brilliant and numerous opportunities to your child/ren now, and potentially in the future. If it’s financially viable there’s not much question about it.

That’s a brutal truth and that is why it gets so much vitriol on here. As a PP said ‘This will go the way of all private school thread with nasty vitriol aimed at privately educated children being arrogant, small minded, snobs who "buy" better grades than they deserve’..

Although I see this thread is a few days old and it’s been perfectly civil, which is surprising but nice to see.

Going to a private school doesn’t stop being bullied as some have mentioned

99% of private school round my way won’t take SEN kids at all.

I say if you can afford it go for it but if you’ve to scrimp don’t as it'll be miserable for you.

I don’t agree. I think the ‘brutal truth’ is that parents who use private schools do so in the knowledge that, while a clever, self-motivated child will be fine anywhere, their very average child wouldn’t succeed without the extra resources of a private school.

Agreed

Not sure we are disagreeing?

I don’t agree. I think the ‘brutal truth’ is that parents who use private schools do so in the knowledge that, while a clever, self-motivated child will be fine anywhere, their very average child wouldn’t succeed without the extra resources of a private school.

I disagree. I would love to see a very average child sit the 7+ and try to get into a super selective school.

But no one was talking about ‘super selective’ schools, just private ones. Which vary enormously in their academic rigour. Mostly they’re pumping resources into average children to artificially inflate those children’s chances. If all children had identical educational opportunities, they’d be left by the wayside.

Engaged in a real life experiment with this as I have one at a well rated comp and about to send the other to a less academic private.

Am I wasting my money? Possibly. The comp is supposed to be amazing, outstanding ofsted etc. It's massive and cramped. There is zero communication with parents, no meaningful response to any concerns. There's a harsh zero tolerance behaviour policy but still a fair amount of disruption. I have already hired tutors in several core subjects and it seems that many of my child's friends also have tutors. It's been really hard to find anyone available to tutor who is any good and I am spending a fair amount. It also means extra time and work for my child after school. My child doesn't want to leave though as happy with friends.

I have questioned why on earth I would pay a fortune to send my other child to a school with similar results. I suppose I am hoping that they as an individual will be happier and do better. Bit of a gamble though. Only doing it because I can afford to.

It’d depend on the private school. Some are highly selective - others will take just about anyone whose parents can pay the fees. A good state school would IMO beat the latter hands down.

Plus of course not everybody by any means from even highly academic independent schools will go on to excel in later life.

The opportunities come because they have parents who are affluent, have the right friends, possibly are pushy, pay for tutoring, and more importantly they expect their children to achieve therefore from young prioritise education. You don't need to be in private education to see this either, my kids were state educated but grew up in a family and surrounded by other people all with at least a bachelors degree if not PhDs and so had the internal expectation that studying and learning was normal, university was the path you took, I didn't have to tell them, it was just their world. Both have Russell group university degrees and will have masters in due course their choice.

It's not my background by the way, both myself and my ex were first in family to attend university but my kids were brought up in a different world due to circumstances we were in due to said degrees

It's really going to be about what your state options are like and only you know that.

I am very happy with my children's state primary - it's not an Ofsted outstanding or in a highly affluent area (it's about 50% pupil premium) - but it's very nurturing, very outdoorsy and the teachers so far have been adept at differentiating within the class.

I don't think it would be worth sending them to private. I will think about it again for secondary. Our local state secondary is pretty good though and sends a good proportion to Oxbridge and RG universities every year, for a non selective school. So I don't necessarily expect to go private then either but will look at the options

@RawBloomers

If anyone sends their kids to "Eaton" they're being scammed!

Meh - I don't think private school is necessary if you have good state schools. I know people who went to state schools who have massively overachieved and are wildly successful, and some from private schools how now work in really normal jobs with average salaries. If they're clever, determined and good at what they do they should thrive wherever.

Yes people can do well at any school - that's kind of like saying a person of colour can do well in any industry - they can but the odds are stacked so they have to be better and have more luck

Not all areas have good state schools

On average it's easier for a good child to succeed at a private school - if you take a cohort of similar academic ability aged 11 by the time they are 25 there is a clear difference in academic achievements - it's a bit less than the gap at age 18 as the chance of a private educated child failing to thrive at university is higher than the state child but still quite marked

This to me is a sign that we are failing our children