Should I bin my friend's art?

[Joyjazz]

My friend painted me a picture. The sentiment was lovely but I really hate it. It's not my taste and not in keeping with my house. I keep it behind the TV and hang it whenever she comes to visit so I don't hurt her feelings as she is really proud of this piece and spent many weeks making it. I'm moving to a new house and I don't want to be carrying things that I don't like or want to my new home. I want to take the frame and bin the actual painting. She's a good friend and she is likely to visit and possibly ask where the art is.

AIBU to put the painting in the bin?

[Hoglet70]

You can't bin it (well, you can if you want to!). I'm not quite sure where you can hang it but binning it seems a bit mean after she put the effort in.

[tulippa]

You could say it got damaged during the move I suppose?

[aodirjjd]

If you want to stay friends I think taking the frame and binning the art is a bad idea. I think I’d just bite the bullet and bin the whole thing and tell her you gave it to a relative because it didn’t suit your new house and you didn’t like to think of it shut away.

[Goldenboysmum]

Could you hang it in your bedroom the first time she visits, and show her.


Then bin it or whatever, she's not going to expect to see it if she thinks it's in your room.

[WombTangClan]

Will need to see a picture to properly advise, I'm afraid

[mnahmnah]

Those clumsy removal people…

[K0OLA1D]

No you can't.

Isn't there an upstairs room it could go in?

[DesparatePragmatist]

In the loft. Say you're rotating pictures until you find the right place for every picture in the new place.

[Cattenberg]

I would definitely stick to keeping it out of sight and hanging it only when she comes round. Binning it seems unkind when she spent weeks making it for you and re-using the frame would look even worse.

[PostItInABook]

Why did you accept it if you don’t like it? Just tell her you appreciate the technique, composition, work but the style is not to your taste. Art is a very personal, individual thing. As an artist she should understand.

[OwlCityisthemostunderrated]

You can get rid of the whole thing, but no you can’t reuse the frame. The message that would give us that you value the frame but not her artwork or her efforts, which would be pretty shallow.

[Haydenn]

I would tell her you’ve loved having it, but there isn’t space in the new place for it. You love it and know how much effort she put in - would she like it back.

There’s a special place in hell for those who inflict their own shitty arts and crafts on others.

[CaterhamReconstituted]

I think your current tactic is best. Just hang it up when she comes round.

[RicePuddingWithCinnamon]

@WombTangClan

Will need to see a picture to properly advise, I'm afraid

Here it is

[Screamingabdabz]

God I’d hate this. People shouldn’t gift their amateur hobby projects.

I would ask a kind relative if they can store it in their spare room for a few months. Once you’ve moved and she has got used to not seeing it up bin it.

If she asks where it is, just vaguely say you wanted a change of decor for your new place.

[JoleneTookHerMan]

@Goldenboysmum

Could you hang it in your bedroom the first time she visits, and show her.


Then bin it or whatever, she's not going to expect to see it if she thinks it's in your room.

I'd go with this .

If you lie and tell her it was damaged in removal, you run the risk of her painting you a replacement.

Telling her you gave it to charity or a relative or the bin would unecssarily hurt feelings when she made it for you with good intentions.

[CaterhamReconstituted]

@RicePuddingWithCinnamon

Here it is

My goodness that is dreadful and a bit creepy. Actually, get rid of it. Loads of things get lost in house moves so just put it down to that.

[WimpoleHat]

We collect work from a particular artist. I bought a painting of his on eBay last week which he had obviously presented to some close friends as a wedding gift (there was a handwritten inscription on the back). And I thought it was so sad that they’d sold it; I’m sure he’d be upset if he knew. It’s a really personal thing. You don’t have to hang it, but it seems so unfeeling to put it in the bin. Wrap it up and stock it under the bed or whatever.

[thistimelastweek]

People who gift art are selfish. It's all about them. They might pretend otherwise but it's about them.
This is just by way of context.
I can't advise OP. It's her call.

[Mummame2222]

Why would you bin something lovingly made for you? Store it. It’s a shame your friend made it for you, she should have done it for someone who deserves it.

[TeenLifeMum]

I’d put it in my bedroom, then move it to the loft once she’d seen it. If you say it got damaged she might make you another gift!

[OwlCityisthemostunderrated]

@WimpoleHat

We collect work from a particular artist. I bought a painting of his on eBay last week which he had obviously presented to some close friends as a wedding gift (there was a handwritten inscription on the back). And I thought it was so sad that they’d sold it; I’m sure he’d be upset if he knew. It’s a really personal thing. You don’t have to hang it, but it seems so unfeeling to put it in the bin. Wrap it up and stock it under the bed or whatever.

Ah, but for all you know the people he gave it to might have died, or even just divorced.

[ButWhatAboutTheBees]

Well this is MN so you should never gift your hard work and only expensive gifts...

Throwing it and keeping the frame is awful though. It's rude. The frame is worth nothing compared to the time, effort and love in the gift itself. Especially as you are justifying it by saying you don't want to take stuff with you and the frame will take up more space than the picture inside!

Could you donate it to a charity shop? Or just continue hanging when she comes round? Or at least keep the painting behind something else in the frame?

[chattyness]

The problem with binning it or pretending it was damaged is that it's highly likely that she would paint you a replacement as a housewarming gift and then you're back to square one. i like the idea of hanging in it the bedroom & showing it to her on for her first visit, then she won't expect to see it again. because bedrooms are private. Just make sure your bedroom door is closed every time she visits after that.

[ButWhatAboutTheBees]

@CaterhamReconstituted

My goodness that is dreadful and a bit creepy. Actually, get rid of it. Loads of things get lost in house moves so just put it down to that.

It's a joke...
That's from Friends and they have the same dilemma