To think is not too nosy?

[azureazure]

My dp thinks I’m very nosy. I think I’m inquisitive. If someone tells me something and it interests me, I will do some research on the topic later. Or if I meet someone who interests me, I’ll look them up later.

Most recent example he thought was strange is that we went on holiday and got talking to a couple. Knew first names only and the area they lived in. They mentioned they’d just sold their business and seemed like they had a LOT of money. They were also very vague about what the business was but said along the lines of “We sold carpets”.

So from that info I was able to spend about 20 mins tracking down who they were. Could see how much their business sold for and how much their house cost e t c

Does anyone else do this? I’m just interested in people. I can find out lots off little info and see it perhaps as a challenge for my detective skills.

I do this all the time. The other night I saw a Mum from my children’s school photographed in a newspaper stood near a celebrity at an event. I googled her, she’s got a very interesting job, then looked up her husband. I went down a rabbit hole and found out so much about them. Their address was readily available online, I then looked up the house on Google Earth. It’s mad how much you can find out online. For this reason I don’t update my social media with anything and refuse to go on LinkedIn.

I’m not a stalker by any means, but I’m nosey. I won’t do anything at all with this information. I won’t tell my husband because he’s terrible with gossip and will say ‘Oh Sarah was telling me you live in the vicarage on Church Lane and work for HSBC!!’ When in fact I found out all this information online and of course it would make me look like a lunatic to know all this stuff about people I’ve only talked to a couple of times.

It's usually just for resale purposes, you can see how much house values are rising/dropping in certain areas by what they've sold for and when.

House price data is an official public National Statistic. It’s how the government keeps track of trends in prices and things like average house prices broken down by region, property type etc and transparency ultimately benefits buyers and sellers. It’s hardly top secret information anyway: anyone can gauge more or less what their friends’ and neighbours’ houses are worth by looking on Rightmove or visiting an estate agent. We don’t keep prices secret for any other commodity because people would prefer what they spent to be their private information.

and of course it would make me look like a lunatic to know all this stuff about people I’ve only talked to a couple of times.

You said it!

The information is on the Land Registry and Rightmove, Zoopla etc get it from there. But only from around the eighties I think, if your house was bought before that the early prices won't show.
Why would you be bothered if anyone knew how much you paid for your property? I think it's good that we can find out who owns the land in this country. Land ownership has been public for hundreds of years, eg think of all the old tithe maps and electoral registers when eligibility to vote was based on your ownership of property, they would have been publicly available. Also things like probate records showing the value of your estate after death have been published for a very long time.

Why would it need to ‘affect’ someone’s partner for them to have an opinion on it? I wouldn’t be in a relationship with my partner if I knew she was doing things like this. Absolutely NOT normal behaviour, and a few solid notches beyond ‘nosy’

Oh dear, 😂 to me people who do this don't have enough to fill their day, who'd have the time!?

Careful your boyfriend is not getting the ick. If my partner was researching obsessively I'd think he's shallow and uninteresting , it would put me off him.

It's a good idea to check what's there online about you and request removal of your data if you don't like it.

xpost @NotForMeTY

Why would you be bothered about people knowing what you paid for your house.

It's private finances that's why? It's between the seller and the buyer.

It's utterly bizarre and something my mother does. It's now made it so I tell her on a need to know basis... about even the smallest things.

People would be surprised at what information is publicly available about them, including wills after probate, land registry, and death/marriage and birth certificates.

I often use this kind of info during my work (but as a hobby) and it's why I keep my social media tightly locked down and rarely share anything personal online or with people I barely know.

@azureazure have you considered a new career in OSINT? 😉

You sound like a stalker. I wouldn't want a friend like you.

You should work for the Daily Mail OP because everytime they report a story no matter how heartbreaking or tragic, they'll always google how much the subject's property is worth and add that to the article :-)

Sorry I think it's weird and intrusive.

I totally understand researching a topic or person of interest you feel interested in but not a stranger or person you've met in real life. Very odd to me.

That’s quite unpleasant actually. It’s not about learning at all. I hope I don’t meet anyone like you on holiday!

That's pretty grim, tbh. And reinforces my feeling that I really don't want to "get chattying" with anyone I meet on holiday! You don't need to know any of this stuff, OP.

This is it exactly. It is the context that makes it really creepy and unpleasant.

What was the purpose of it? There was none - other than just to be intrusive. You don't know these people, you haven't a relationship with them.

It's a bit different, say, if you were at a conference and met a colleague in a similar professional field - I'd often check them up afterwards, e.g. their LinkedIn profile, where they'd published, their institution (I work in a university). I'd probably connect with them on LinkedIn. But I wouldn't then go trying to find out where they lived or how much their house cost or if they'd a partner.

It's the relevancy of your searching I'd have an issue with.

If someone tells me something and it interests me, I will do some research on the topic later. Or if I meet someone who interests me, I’ll look them up later.

I mean - this is one thing. Hearing something that interests you and looking it up, is fine.

Meeting someone who interests you, and you'd like to know more about them, that's relevant to why they interest you, also fine, I think.

But why would you be interested in why a random couple that you've no connection with made money, and decide to find out value of their house and what their business was and so on? That's not out of interest, at all.

It's putting me in mind of creeps who go through dirty washing baskets; they would if only they could

This is the first time I've ever voted on mumsnet, nothing has ever been so clear cut before- YABU!

I've never even thought of doing this- it's definitely nosy! Whether you think it's ok to do it or not it's still nosy if you have to go out of your way to find information on someone that hasn't been voluntarily offered up to you, just to satisfy your own curiosity.

And it sounds like there's an element of jealousy to it as well. I can see why your husband isn't keen.
If you like puzzles go play some room escape games

I can't understand why anyone would care how much somebody spent on their house. I have never looked up something like this. What possible difference can it make to your own life?

I don't! Would never cross my mind. I'm not that interested in people's personal wealth.

OP's behaviour is definitely creepy.

It doesn’t make any difference to my life. It’s not that deep, it’s just nosiness. Just like watching Eastenders doesn’t make a difference to someone’s life, but apparently people still watch it!
There is so much information at our fingertips now that takes literally seconds to access. I doubt people are spending an afternoon sleuthing, just the odd minute while waiting for the kettle to boil, example.

Just like watching Eastenders doesn’t make a difference to someone’s life, but apparently people still watch it!

That's nothing like the same thing!

Eastenders is a TV programme, created for entertainment, for the purpose of people to watch it.

Gathering together a few details of a stranger's life, and using them to get information about them online is completely different and a bit unhinged.

Yes I do this sort of thing, I am extremely nosy. I don’t tell anyone anything I find out, would never discuss it with anyone. And I always forget a few days later.

A few years ago I would have thought this behaviour obscene, but it’s like a PP said - once you know you can and do it once, you always do it again. The information is freely available online you don’t even have to look that hard for it.