To think is not too nosy?

[azureazure]

My dp thinks I’m very nosy. I think I’m inquisitive. If someone tells me something and it interests me, I will do some research on the topic later. Or if I meet someone who interests me, I’ll look them up later.

Most recent example he thought was strange is that we went on holiday and got talking to a couple. Knew first names only and the area they lived in. They mentioned they’d just sold their business and seemed like they had a LOT of money. They were also very vague about what the business was but said along the lines of “We sold carpets”.

So from that info I was able to spend about 20 mins tracking down who they were. Could see how much their business sold for and how much their house cost e t c

Does anyone else do this? I’m just interested in people. I can find out lots off little info and see it perhaps as a challenge for my detective skills.

Up to a point. But there's plenty out there that people don't specifically consent to, which is out there.
You'll never convince me that it's okay to trawl through a strangers data to obtain knowledge which is none of your business, just because those people haven't actively hidden it from you.

I don’t see it. Having experienced actual stalking and harassment, it’s completely different. When someone is following you to work or watching you outside your home, that’s stalker territory. Being nosey is different, looking at your neighbours or someone’s house on rightmove for interests sake, is nothing like real stalking. It genuinely concerns me that people can’t see the difference.

You are very nosey.

And before you say it, no I don't Google patients because there actually is a professional code of conduct around doing that. There is nothing that says you can't look up ex-boyfriends, old schoolfriends, your next door neighbour, the carpet salesman you met on holiday etc.

The problem is, HollyKnight, that you could if you were minded to. You have the patient's name, what's to stop you? Code of conduct? I don't believe that for a second. You might not do it, but until it can't be done (which should be the default), people lacking any sort of brakes will do what they want because they are like that.

@LyingWitchInTheWardrobe There definitely are people who do it (Google patients), and some of them even admit it, which is crazy. Some even look up the test results of people they know, which is an even bigger no-no and rightly they get fired for it if they're discovered. But just because some people "are like that" doesn't mean everyone is like that. Some people really aren't consumed by a sinister urge to know people's private business when they Google house prices.

He is warning you to be careful I think.

Look it up for your own amusement and its just "fun". But if you start trying to impress other people with your "secret knowledge" then it can cause trouble.

If you think about it, that's what you're doing here with this post...

I have never done this. To anyone.

Seems like this something you need to tell yourself, kind of like alcoholics tell themselves that everyone has a drink everyday.

This is beyond weird and scary thing to do.

I guess I’m glad to, now, know weirdos like the exists. 😵‍💫

It’s a bit stalkerish, not nosey.

I get a quick check on Rightmove to see what a neighbour paid for their house. 20 minutes of googling to find financial records of someone you met on holiday is just really weird.

You need a life, OP. I mean, yes, it’s very nosey and cheeky, but besides that, ask yourself why the hell you even care for a split second about the financial affairs of some stranger you’ve just met who you will never see again? It’s sad behaviour.

No, I don’t think they were jealous at all. Or bigoted — mildly xenophobic, yes, probably.

I think their thought process was ‘We know exactly how we would dress, groom, decorate our houses, what type of car we would drive etc if we had the kind of money that woman has, so why is she dressing/decorating / cycling like our idea of a poor person? Why is she working when she doesn’t need to?’

think I was ‘researched’ because in their eyes I was making a very poor display with the means I had.

Which sounds pretty much like what the OP describes. She was trying to ‘place’ someone she met on holiday because ‘it seemed like they had a LOT of money’.

Wow, you’re not just being “nosy”
In my book that’s a staker-ish kind of behaviour.
Mind your own business moving forward?..

That’s good to hear. :-)

For sure!!!

Same. I’ve never had the inkling to look up such things of people I’ve just met. It’s none of my business and if I care to know such info I would just ask the person themselves.

HollyKnight of course not everybody is like this but, the fact that some people are like this, derelict of respecting other peoples' privacy and determined to snoop, everybody should be aware of that.

The posters congratulating themselves are in the same groups as other social pariahs... groups that are underground because their behaviour just isn't acceptable in society. People in those groups make the same excuses too... 'I can't help it', 'I'm not hurting anybody', 'everybody does it'.

It may not be illegal to snoop but no, not everybody does it and people with any decency would not.

I'm not talking about looking up pop stars and actors, not films either. It's strange that posters mention that, maybe a daft need to deflect from behaviour that is dishonest and grimy to most.

The way you've described it to me seems like genuine curiosity, but it could definitely be construed as intrusive.

As has been suggested, it also a trait of a neurodivergent brain - the need to hunt out all the information available before you feel satisfied.

If the object of your fascination was, say, 17th century japanese pottery, people would probably see you as quirky and knowledgeable, rather than creepy/stalkerish. However, because the object of your interest is often another person, the dynamic changes, as they haven't volunteered the information themselves, and it's impossible to gauge how much they want to be public knowledge.

So while to you it seems perfectly innocent, and definitely appears to be, the perception of others will often be that you've overstepped an unspoken boundary, by making someone the object of your research without their consent.

You're clearly not doing this with malicious intent and you obviously find people fascinating, but in the future, maybe scratch the information itch by researching an interesting celebrity, or period of history

As has been suggested, it also a trait of a neurodivergent brain - the need to hunt out all the information available before you feel satisfied.

You're clearly not doing this with malicious intent and you obviously find people fascinating,

😂🙈 Pull the other one. She’s desperate to see how much money another person has. That’s the beginning and end of it.

Poor thing, she will usually find out they have more than her.

Oh no, I do this! I love doing this! A hobby? Find it fascinating!?! But men definitely as a general don’t do this…. And I’m not sure it’s entirely “normal” whatever normal is 😂

I think it's a matter of whether you do anything with the information. I am so nosy. It might be part of my suspected autism, but I want to know EVERYTHING. But! Here is the catch: information I find is not given to ANYONE else unless the person is actually doing something harmful.

If someone you’ve started work with after you’ve been chatting gives you very identifiable info including their surname what would you do? Research or not?