To think is not too nosy?

[azureazure]

My dp thinks I’m very nosy. I think I’m inquisitive. If someone tells me something and it interests me, I will do some research on the topic later. Or if I meet someone who interests me, I’ll look them up later.

Most recent example he thought was strange is that we went on holiday and got talking to a couple. Knew first names only and the area they lived in. They mentioned they’d just sold their business and seemed like they had a LOT of money. They were also very vague about what the business was but said along the lines of “We sold carpets”.

So from that info I was able to spend about 20 mins tracking down who they were. Could see how much their business sold for and how much their house cost e t c

Does anyone else do this? I’m just interested in people. I can find out lots off little info and see it perhaps as a challenge for my detective skills.

Yep.

It's just sheer narcissism. "Everyone else is just a character in this game I'm playing, not a person deserving of my respect."

But medical records aren't publicly available and neither are individuals' salaries. But any financial information about companies shown on Companies House records is public as are house prices, so why shouldn't people be able to look up public information which is freely available if they want to? It harms no one if someone else finds out what they paid for their house.

People can do a lot of things, doesn’t mean they should

This sounds unhealthy.

I mean there's difference between someone saying something interesting and you thinking 'wow that really interested me, I'm going to look into that' and stalking online to see how much people are worth.

There's the slightly creepy but socially acceptable online stalking of ex partners to see what they are doing now or maybe finding out how much your old house sold for...and then there is this holiday rxample you used which is a whole other creepy level

But who's to say they should or shouldn't look at public information? Why shouldn't they? It's causing no harm to anyone.
I find it strange that people are criticising the OP for looking at public information. People may think she's wasting her time but lots of things that people do are a total waste of time. People can say it's creepy but there are many much much more creepy things that people do, many of which do cause harm. This harms no one.

I thought you were going to say you were researching general topics for interest after you spoke about them - not specific details about people’s lives. That’s pretty odd.

That’s a pretty extreme example - and given that you only know this because you snooped on her Facebook page, it’s likely she didn’t want you (or anyone she barely knows, but happens to share a postcode with) to know.

I look up people online in the depths you describe all the time - I'm too inquisitive/curious/call it what you want not to.

I don't consider this on the same level as snooping through someone's possessions. I've been alone in friend's houses many times and have never felt the need to go through their stuff because those friendships are built on trust.

I do think there's probably a link between neurodiversity and people more likely to be curious or do this.
I too am neurodiverse. I've never considered this link before.

How is it that, although several posters have given examples of how certain information is available by default (e.g. house prices), you keep arguing that people shouldn’t “put it out there” - as if they’re launching an awareness campaign around how much they sold their house for in 2018? An awful lot of information is out there whether we like it or not, but you seem determined to suggest people are somehow publicly bragging and then complaining.

According to the ads, yep!
Personally I have a "primark, but make it vinted" budget so I've never owned anything boden.

I do it too and this is totally it for me. I don't really care that much about the person, it's all about the challenge. I like, and am good at, problem solving generally.

People are thinking it's something deeper than it is. It's just a moment of hyperfocus. As others have saud, it's a game, a puzzle to solve. You're given a clue, and then you have to use your skills to solve the mystery. No one actually cares about the price of your house any more than they actually care that it was Miss Scarlett who killed Colonel Mustard in the library with the dagger.

Somehow, that makes it seem worse to me.

The snooper doesn't see the person they're spying on as an individual, a real person, a full human being.

Instead, the person is just a means to an end, a cipher, a tool to while away the time. It's a form of dehumanised perception.

In this case, it leads to unpleasant, tacky but ultimately harmless behaviour but this failure to think of others as fully human or to put yourself in the mind of others (how would they feel to know you had been trawling through the Internet and piecing together all the information you can find about them?) has led to pretty awful, real life outcomes.

Nah. It's really not that deep.

Yes I often do this too! I always have a list of things I want to google / research that I’ve seen or hear about and want more details about

Cmon now. lol. Trying to dress up grubby behaviour on finding out someone’s finances. That’s just cringe.

Objectifying and antisocial.

Loving the use of 'research' for cyber sleuthing 😂

Because buying and selling houses is not compulsory- if it’s genuinely so devastating for you that people would know what you spent then you have the option not to do it.

Choose to buy a house, knowing the information will be published online, and then being outraged when people see it is just stupid.

As is caring that people know how much it was at all. It’s just a house, not a bird’s eye view of your soul.

What a silly little post 😂 no one is devastated, no one is outraged someone happens upon it, the discussion is about meeting someone and purposefully going and looking to see how much info you can get on their financials.

sometimes when you are in a hole it is best to stop digging.😂

Maybe best not to call your awkward snooping 'research'. In the real world of research, of course, there is that small matter of ethics and informed consent. I doubt that OP's objects of interest have consented to being part of her 'research' activities.

I agree with your husband: you're really nosy. You are also a gossip, which is why you had to come on here and tell us all about it.

I would do exactly the same (apart from telling other people or posting on MN). Takes one to know one.

I’ve never done this with people I just met or met in passing. But I have occasionally dug deeper with people in my life. Example: years ago I worked in a company founded by a married couple. After a couple of years I got curious and looked on Companies House using their names. Of
course they were listed as directors of the company where I worked, bit they also owned a separate consultancy that made millions. I reckon they ran some of the business through that one and kept all the profit themselves.

I’m not in a hole- I’m saying when you buy a house it’s public information.

Some people, for a million reasons you may or may not agree with, will look up that information.

If that upsets you to the point you think it should be illegal and makes you feel like you are being stalked- don’t do it.

If you just think it’s nosy and weird- fair enough… but don’t think that your opinion makes any difference to reality.

I personally don't care if some sleuth knows how much we paid for our property. I judge the rather basic personality type of someone who gleefully enters some search terms and clicks through some links as any 7 year old could, thinking they're being super inquisitive and clever. It's all a bit 'mom's basement'. Ask yourself OP, would you ever be honest about your online digging to the people you are snooping on? If not you know you're hiding something that isn't socially acceptable. It's sneaky.

Not creepy, not weird, not a stalker. No such thing as 'normal'.

I imagine you also describe yourself as a 'people watcher'. i do!

We'd make great detectives...