To think is not too nosy?

[azureazure]

My dp thinks I’m very nosy. I think I’m inquisitive. If someone tells me something and it interests me, I will do some research on the topic later. Or if I meet someone who interests me, I’ll look them up later.

Most recent example he thought was strange is that we went on holiday and got talking to a couple. Knew first names only and the area they lived in. They mentioned they’d just sold their business and seemed like they had a LOT of money. They were also very vague about what the business was but said along the lines of “We sold carpets”.

So from that info I was able to spend about 20 mins tracking down who they were. Could see how much their business sold for and how much their house cost e t c

Does anyone else do this? I’m just interested in people. I can find out lots off little info and see it perhaps as a challenge for my detective skills.

I sometimes do. Diffferent info than you and probably not to such depth, but I do google and search.

😊 Exactly

😂😂

😆😆😆

“You don’t have to have a house…” I really have heard it all now.

Wow! I'm with you husband- nosy and creepy! Can you imagine if it was a guy on here saying he did that with women he met. Presumably you can't just don't and keep it to yourself as you want someone to gossip with (ie your DP) but he just thinks you're a creepy weirdo

I used to work with someone who did this from people’s work passes. So if he spotted a name on a lanyard he’d pass his commute finding out everything he could online about them. He was quite odd but his role was very techie and he found it fascinating how easy people make it for identify theft.

You don’t have to buy a house, knowing that it will be on the land registry, then bleat about your private information being see by people.

What was the company?

I don’t understand the horror around people knowing your salary or house price. In some professions salaries (or at least salary bands) are public info and having salaries as public information would vastly improve pay fairness. I really couldn’t care less if people wanted to Google my business or financial information or if a random on the bus saw my name on a work lanyard and decided to look me up. Them finding publicly available information about me doesn’t harm me in any way.

I'm either a marine biologist or studying theology.

Think it is the way some are going about it.

It’s taking away someone’s choice to provide such information freely regardless if it is public or not. If someone who I have met wants to know how much my home is I rather them ask me to my face than go google search it.

But you make it sound like a house is optional! You’ve never moaned about something even though you know you can’t change it? Never wished you were paying less in tax, or that the trains were a bit more frequent or ran later at night?

”You don’t have to buy a house” ranks pretty high up the daftest argument ever list.

Outside the obvious reason that public sector salaries are available to the public, you could equally ask why you need to know salaries and house price information, beyond trying to gauge how much respect you should give someone.

You make it sound like buying a house is compulsory.

Any detective would laugh themselves senseless at this comment.

Well obviously you could rent one - but somewhere to live is pretty compulsory, don’t you think? And continuing to rent if you can afford to buy just to stop nosy parkers trying to find your address and checking out what you’ve spent is pretty extreme.

For all the people screaming “But this is public information!!!” - there’s a vast amount of public information out there. The timetables of trains from Luton to St Pancras. The annual GDP of Burkina Faso. The winner of the World’s Strongest Man in 1997. That’s all public information.

The point is, the OP decided that she didn’t know enough about a virtual stranger so, using only his first name and the fact that he once owned a carpet business, she’s gone digging for his address, the value of his house, the sale value of his business… yes, all publicly available if you look hard enough, but very odd to spend so much time desperately trying to find all this out about someone you chatted to briefly on holiday. No one piece of information implies anything dodgy, but spending 20 minutes searching for all that information? It’s just weird.

As others have said, it’s all about money. OP’s “curiosity” around this man extends purely to financial matters. Some people smell money and their jealousy takes over. I’ve seen the threads on here about people watching how much their neighbours spend and speculating where all the money comes from. “But they’re only in their early 30s! Their business can’t make THAT much! How do they afford that house and those cars, how?!”

Nothing seems to spark “curiosity” in the way jealousy of other people’s money does.

Yes this is nosy and weirdly stalkerish. Why do you care. Topics like, best non upf bread..fine to research, but digging someones finances and personal life because they were nice to you on holiday is a problem.

If my partner did that I would be very annoyed too. One of my neighbors was discussing how much another neighbor spent doing up their garden. She then proceeded to say 'I would never spend so much money on a garden'. They both have equally beautiful homes. I feel weird about the nosey neighbor now.

I agree, it would be pretty extreme. But then so is feeling stalked and thinking it should be illegal for house prices to be know.

The posters excusing themselves with self-diagnosed ADHD and the like, just stop it, it's pathetic. You're not exceptional, not detectives and what you're doing is just nosey curtain-twitching. No medical label needed for that.

It's good to be aware that there are people like this and that anybody concerned should lock down their information.

Nothing seems to spark “curiosity” in the way jealousy of other people’s money does

and it’s always money at its core.

it’s just really distasteful. And those doing it know it. That’s why they’d not admit it to the person in real life.as they’d feel embarassed by themselves.

It's only stalking if you act on the information you find in a stalkers way.

Give me a name and I'm straight on Google and will likely look your house up on rightmove if I'm interested. I was intrigued where my former boss lived, so I had a look online. If I were a stalker, I would have followed him home or deliberately gone out of my way to see the house in real life. Googling is just normal research.

Exactly

That’s really not the definition of stalking. However I agree with you, it’s not stalking, it’s just grubby behaviour