To think is not too nosy?

[azureazure]

My dp thinks I’m very nosy. I think I’m inquisitive. If someone tells me something and it interests me, I will do some research on the topic later. Or if I meet someone who interests me, I’ll look them up later.

Most recent example he thought was strange is that we went on holiday and got talking to a couple. Knew first names only and the area they lived in. They mentioned they’d just sold their business and seemed like they had a LOT of money. They were also very vague about what the business was but said along the lines of “We sold carpets”.

So from that info I was able to spend about 20 mins tracking down who they were. Could see how much their business sold for and how much their house cost e t c

Does anyone else do this? I’m just interested in people. I can find out lots off little info and see it perhaps as a challenge for my detective skills.

The pp said ‘It’s like a logic puzzle, … it's about using information as clues to work things out.

Then feeling satisfied at finding as much info as possible when the clues have been Jane and Bob, carpets, West Midlands, or whatever.

If it’s all about ‘a logic puzzle’ and ‘finding as much info as possible when the clues have been…’ then I should imagine something like solving clues to resolve a mystery would be much more fulfilling. But that is based on the fact it is just done for the logic, fact finding using deeply researched clues.

But we know that it’s not really about that. It’s essentially about using time to try and find out how much a money a person might have.

Yes 😂

My boyfriend is like you and I find it incredibly annoying and nosey. I also think it’s a bit rude. He looks up peoples house prices etc, and googles what their salary might be etc. I think it’s not normal personally and I do think it’s nosey. Inquisitive would be asking the couple questions within a conversation and understanding tney don’t wish to
divulge their whole life to strangers, nosey is then spending 20 minutes finding out things about them without their knowledge when you have absolutely no reason to need to know that information!
my partner for example would meet say a dr, and then say to me he looked young and he’s high up I wonder how old he is and whether he’s as high up as I think.
perfectly ok a sentence in a passing conversation. By the time we’ve got home my partner knows this drs age, and his position within the practice along with other stuff.
i think it’s really rude and unnecessary.

its public knowledge though, otherwise she would not of been able to find out

I often do this. Probably because I am nosy! But if it’s publicly available information then I don’t see what the problem is.

It would be wrong if you then spouted all that information back at the people you’ve researched but if you just keep it to yourself it’s fine.

Sounds like your bf has an inferior complex.

Surely, if you would be embarrassed to tell somebody what you had found out about them, then on some level you must realise that the snooping is inappropriate.

It's very unsympathetic behaviour and I thin kit's about control, you know something about them that they don't know you know because they haven't actually shared it with you. You'd probably look up someone's medical notes if you could.

Yes absolutely. Z

Weird to be so interested in someone you met on holiday to look up their finances.

LTSB (Leave the sad B) 😉While you can. He'll drive you mad with that sort of outlook.

Guaranteed if they are happy with themselves and or their personal wealth, , their grubby snooping simply wouldn’t happen.

I am curious and things bug me but this is things like where a TV series is filmed or a belief system someone shares with to learn more about it. I mean technically yanbu as its all publicly available information but it's a little stalkerish to be researching the finances of someone you met in passing. It seems an odd way to spend your time.

a little weird but harmless as long as it stops there

You really think it’s normal to look up how much someone bought their house for?

Never done that in my life, really couldn’t give a shit how much Jim at work paid for his house

OP what you say you do is definitely past being nosy

I had an encounter at work where someone asked for my parents’ names and then proceeded to look up their house and how much money they make. Made comments to others about this.

I was extremely disturbed by this and avoided this person going forward. Everyone else also found the incident totally ‘wtf’

think, how would the person you ‘researched’ feel if they found out? Would they still speak to you?

It’s not at all weird to me but I work in major donor fundraising. We would call this “prospect research” 🧐there are also services you can subscribe to that will do it for you. It’s information in the public domain, it’s not going through their bins.

You got ADHD hun…. Welcome to the FBI 🤣🤣

This horrifies me as a private person and makes me want to never to speak to anyone on holiday again 😂 BUT I don't think it makes you a terrible person and am sure people who do this sort of thing can be perfectly lovely. People are just different - I don't want to know other peoples business and i definitely don't want them to know mine and to me some people wildly overshare everything and do things like this all the time. There's just a nosey/privacy scale to personality and everyone is different.

I hope people keep their pet rabbits away from you

I love tracking info down about people, places or things aswell. I should have been a detective or a PI. I also enjoy logic games, I love a good game on my mobile that involves solving puzzles and piecing clues together. I don't do anything with any info I find out, I like the tracking process more then the result. I usually instantly forget what I've found out. I strongly suspect I've got adhd and doing this sort of thing 'soothes' my brain. Its the only way I can describe it :/

Yep, I’m like this, I do it all the time. I try and find out how much people earn by looking for salary scares at their employer, I find out everything I can about people by Googling, I look at their houses on Rightmove etc. Only to satisfy my own nosiness, not for any ulterior motive. I’m also very bored.

But what is wrong with your life that this strikes you as a better way of spending your time than any other possible pastime?

No I don’t but know someone that does
I think it is nosy
and that they obviously don’t have any other interests or something