She’s 9, almost 10 and a Brownie.
We have a party planned for the weekend before and will do a day out during the summer holidays (her birthday is about 3 weeks before the big summer holiday so we always “delay” a day out until the summer).
Her birthdays the Friday and the entire district have a weekend away planned Friday to Sunday. It’s her dads weekend with her but as it’s her birthday it’d be a shorter weekend (as in I’d have her for her actual birthday overnight then she goes to her dads the next day and does birthday 2.0 with him rather than him having her Friday -Sunday as he usually would). ExH is happy for her to go away for her birthday if she wants to go away and is happy to pay for it as part of one of her birthday presents (as it’s expensive, usually pack holidays cost £40-60 for 2 nights, this is £120 for 2 nights due to the activities their doing).
DD wants to go, it’s all she’s talking about, her best friend who is a Brownie in another pack is going, her Brownies (in her pack) friends are all going, her cousin (on her dad’s side) is going who is a Guide. She literally cannot see a drawback. Brownies have said she can go later so I can do birthday cake/candles with her at home or I can stay for their evening meal and they’ll do cake/candles as pudding if I supply enough cake for her pack to all have some (this is what DD wants me to do) - if I do the latter option I'd just buy cupcakes and DD can have 1 candle on a cake.
The reason I’m asking if AIBU is my family keep saying I shouldn’t let her go and she should realise that it’s a clash and people want to see her on her birthday and the weekend around it. I’m also apparently spoiling her already with a party and a day out (usually it#s one or the other but it’s a big birthday so it’s both this year, next year it’ll be day out, year after party) as she also always gets a day out with Ex-PILs for her birthday. They said by letting her go and ExH paying for it I’m teaching her she can have everything.
She is aware that it’ll mean less presents from her dad, she actually says she doesn’t care about getting things and quote “Would love love love to do all the activities and have an extra special sleepover with all her friends”.
Obviously I want to spend time with her on her birthday but I also don’t want to hold her back or her to resent me for letting something like a date in a calander a big deal. She lives with me 95% of the time (EOWend with her dad) and I work Term Time Only, so I can always celebrate with her properly a few weeks later.
We'd have an hour or so in the car as I'd have to drive her to take her and ExH will pick her up on the Sunday and bring her home but obviously it's not a full blown birthday evening together due to it.
So AIBU to let her go?