Aibu to think most "gifted" children come from well off, affluent families?

[Blueballoons1]

Eg start instruments or sports very early, can afford top tuition, often a parent has the skills to teach the dc at home, they have the time & money to travel around the country for events.. Parents oversee practice is done at home.. Whereas they may well be quite medicore compared to a child with raw talent whose parents just cannot afford what it takes..
I just feel for music, sports or academics money & an affluent background is part of the parcel for the majority of "gifted kids"..

It would be interesting to have a survey of the parents at award evenings or children with top end GCSE results and whether private tutoring was a factor over the years. It’s definitely not a level playing field.

You can’t make someone gifted with money. With all the opportunities money can bring if they’re not good enough money won’t matter. Reading on here great parenting is the most important thing. Money helps but is not the deciding factor.

Thankfully many RG unis including Oxbridge now look at the bigger picture, enabling state educated students gain access to the most privileged institutions. These were for too long hogged by the students whose parents paid for their primary and secondary education. I'm sure we can agree that this aids social mobility.

I'm not sure why grammar heads would be worried, only candidates with the top 11+ marks get admitted to state grammar, most people already tutor their dc intensively and the brightest and best prepared get grammar places. Money can't buy that. Money can pay for tutoring but seeing as most grammar pupils are already being tutored for the 11+ exam it shouldn't make too much of a difference.

Gifted as in genius level or as in intelligent with speciality in certain subjects? They're two very different things. As it stands, of course access to money, resources and an encouraging family helps any person develop their 'gifts'. 😬

Mother of gifted child.
absolutely not privileged. Just a normal 2 parent/2child family.
Whats ironic is he could read before being able to speak, he did not speak till 5 years old.

He walked away with top gcse/alevels. And a place at oxbridge. Which was completely deserved and not given to him on a plate.
I cannot stress how we are just a normal working class family, mortgage, holiday in the uk (centre parks and Cornwall).
so on this I disagree however I’m sure wealth makes things more accessible.

When my children were small we were very poor and I was a lone parent but scrimping and saving hugely! I managed to fund many extra curricular activities; 2 got scholarships to private schools and all 3 went to university. The thing that made the difference was my motivation to support them and make sacrifices to enable them to achieve their best. I was lucky that I had the blue print of my own private education to draw upon. So I do not think it is only wealth but that must surely help!

I dislike the term gifted since it can be variable depending on the “gift” and the context.
I also don’t like that so many people seem to think it has to be associated with neuro divergence.
For most it is exceptional ability in a specific field such as music, art or mathematics where it is a natural and not taught aptitude. For most other areas, sport, dance included it is partly physical suitability but mostly downs to hours and hours of practice.

Many of the talented/gifted sporting children I’ve known are genetically athletic, have high levels of twitch muscle and the right build to run, throw, jump etc.
They are introduce to sport early and have a good work ethic.
All of these things are down to parent involvement and genetics.

I think being a good rounder is of greater benefit in life than being gifted in a narrow area.

But your OP specifically referred to children from "well-off, affluent families", not just families who are able to discuss and support. I came from a piss-poor background; one illiterate parent with addiction issues and one who didn't want to be a parent, but I was still on the gifted pathway at school. Unfortunately a whole shit-show of life got thrown at me and I didn't stick at it and fulfill half of my young potential, to my absolute regret. Things got better later and I'm now happy, healthy and in a good career, and DH and I provide as much support to our DC as we can - we had very little money when they were younger but financially more secure now.

Poor background and unsupportive parents here. I’m academically gifted and have secured a high-paying role (£150-200k pa). It would have been a hell of a lot easier with richer, better connected, more involved parents but it’s certainly possible without those. I think the involved/supportive element has a bigger influence than wealth.

I think being a good rounder is of greater benefit in life than being gifted in a narrow area.

Couldn't agree more.

We had that in Herts until about six years ago. Every kid had the chance to learn an instrument. It helped quite a few discover a talent even when their parents were not musical. I believe that has been cut back now.

Drama in the local state schools is excellent and it taught to all up til gcse when many still take it. A wealth of shows and concerts each term. Drama provision is better in the state schools as they offer A level. The two main private schools near us don’t. I guess the private school parents prefer stem etc

Excelling at something is often about starting early and continual practice more than natural talent.

Also more affluent families are often more aware of the importance of starting learning early so kids can appear more intelligent or academically able.

I used to be on a Programme for Gifted Children. Their natural talents or intelligence is on a whole extra level. Truly gifted children are not dependent on affluence - it's just an outstanding natural ability.

In my experience it seems affluence plays less of a part for academically gifted children than it does for those gifted in sports, the arts or music.

In many sports, to support a genuinely gifted child (one with true international/olympic potential) costs tens of thousands of pounds every year, and an awful lot of sports have no scholarships or funding, it is down to the parents to pay. That excludes a heck of a lot of kids who might otherwise take their sports to new heights.

A child who is truly gifted at maths is going to be beyond the level of most primary school teachers fairly quickly.
A child who is truly gifted at music will teach themselves. Someone may provide an instrument and point them in the right direction. Exceptional ability usually attracts support anyway

High achievement through parental support and hours of tutoring isn't really what gifted means.

Being gifted often goes along with ASD and struggling in other areas. It isn't necessarily a good thing for the individual although society may benefit.

A friend has a 13 year old self taught on the piano, he is autistic and not in school. Very working class family, no piano at home, he learned on pianos in cafe's and YouTube videos. A professional heard him playing in a cafe and offered free lessons. Still have no piano at home although he has a keyboard now. That's gifted but a big part is the hours spent practising which many children wouldn't do. He hasn't done any grades etc. Parents are supportive but it's come from the child.

I disagree. Private schools are one of the most important causes of poor social mobility. Of course buying a better education gives your child an advantage over other children. And it's disproportionately the children if the rich who get this benefit, thereby keeping them richer.

Why is a state school not good enough for your child but fine for someone else's?

If there were no private schools there would be much more political pressure to raise standards in all schools. In the Netherlands the royal family send their kids to state schools. Can you imagine that here? Why not? Because state schools are not good enough for the likes of them?

The vat thing is a total red herring. Private schools need to turn into state schools, not be made more expensive.

I don't blame any parent wanting to send their child to private school. You have to work in the system you're in and most of our state schools aren't good enough.

DS was a sure start baby, we had family tax credits and childcare vouchers ( remember them?) in the glory labour days of the 00's, we spent them on an excellent montosorrri nursery atached to a state school . He was " spotted" in yr3 ( his talent is maths and science) by an extremely committed teacher and was part of G&T scheme. He is on course for a first from Oxbridge, he finds the work there "easy".I often wonder if he would have had the same opportunities today.He also plays 2 sports for the team again due to selfless volunteers who gave up their time at the weekend throughout his school career. So he is privileged and lucky but no private school.

Or the maths kid was given an old ipad and bought dragonbox to keep them quiet while their single parent got things done.

Both my children were naturally gifted, one academically and the other in sports. We are from a working class background, had no savings and no financial help from anyone, with zero inheritance to come. Yet because they were both so gifted, they were given tremendous support both from school and beyond. All we had to do was drive them around. They have both excelled, put the work and determination in and are making good careers out of their individual talents. It's not just the affluent who succeed.

I teach students who are out of the system because of their awful behaviour in schools. Most of them come from dysfunctional families for one reason or another. And nearly all of them are gifted! In music , writing, maths, art, speaking MFL.. it amazes me. But will those gifts be realised….. probably not. Their emotional dysfunction and poor self esteem wins almost every time. It’s a tragedy. Whereas when I ve tutored more affluent, integrated students they are usually less gifted and more talented, with many opportunities to show their skills off.

“Excelling at something is often about starting early and continual practice rather than natural talent.”
l don’t really agree with you. True natural talent does not mean that you have to start early. My most outstanding pupil started playing the piano at seven - a very typical age for beginners - and was from a non-musical background. Within a very short time it was obvious that he was exceptionally talented. He took grades 2, 4, 5, 7 and 8. At the age of eleven, just four years after starting, he passed grade 7:with 95/100. He is an outstanding composer and has recently taken up the viola. Within six months, he has been working at a grade five level. This is true giftedness as was my school friend l mentioned upthread, who began the ‘cello at nine. True talent will out whether a child begins at three, seven, nine or even fifteen. Someone can do something very well with good teaching and hard work, but those with exceptional talent have an indescribable extra something that is innate and cannot be taught. Some years ago, I watched a TV programme about phenomenally gifted young violinists. They featured a group of twelve year old students at the Juilliard School in New York. These children were absolutely amazing, no doubt about it, but we were then shown old footage of Nigel Kennedy at the same age. The difference was night and day. Even at that very young age, it was obvious that Nigel Kennedy was in a completely different league.

Not really, my son is gifted and our family is homeless currently

im not sure it’s a financial thing I think they just received good supportive parenting

I agree with you OP. There is a private primary school near me that offers scholarships to children who ( at age 5) can demonstrate that they excel in an instrument or sport - if your parents can't afford an instrument or lessons, how will you know that you have a talent for it?

there must be so much wasted talent😟

That's very interesting and such a terrible shame that these students cant be supported more so that they can develop their gifts.