To ask if you’re mumsnetty enough to be on mumsnet? 😂

[notmumnettyenough]

I don’t think I am so I’ll start and if you want to you can share your own mumsnet ‘failings/crimes’ in the comments 🤷‍♀️😂

I am not married
I am a SAHM
I don’t shower every day
My showers are at least 15 minutes long
I can’t drive
I don’t own a house or have a mortgage
I do things with my child even though they won’t remember it
I will have a big age gap between my children as we’re not planning to have another one before the first starts school
I am still breastfeeding
We co-sleep
I am not no-contact with either of my child’s grandparents
I enjoyed Baby Sensory
I don’t like wine
I don’t spend all my free time cleaning/tidying
I don’t mind making my partner lunch
I haven’t been to a wedding as an adult
I enjoy the toddler stage
I can’t make a chicken last multiple meals
I start buying Christmas presents on Boxing Day
I keep cards
I don’t limit screen time
We always go food shopping together
Me and dp always go to bed at the same time
I take my child with me when I meet up with friends
I don’t mind if the house gets messy/there’s toys everywhere as my little one plays
I feed my child food that I know they will eat
I parent as child-led as possible (if it’s not safe or harmful to anyone then I step in but other than that I encourage independence)
We don’t have a dishwasher or tumble dryer

There’s probably more 😂

I also vape.

I don't drive
I live in a flat, and the flat is in a part of London suburbia that Mumsnetters on the property and DIY pages think is really naff and advise people to avoid!
I have one DC and I will probably end up with a gap of almost four years (gasp!!!) if DH and I decide to have another.
I don't earn six figures
I don't batch cook
My DH doesn't have an outing hobby.....but I do!
I moved in with my mum for a few weeks after giving birth so she could help out with the baby (there was a family emergency which meant that my DH was away for a bit after the birth and I didn't want to be alone!). Apparently half of Mumsnet was out shopping in Tesco/ batch cooking/renovating the day after giving birth and would be absolutely horrified at the thought of me being such a wet wipe and needing support from my mum when "you only need one adult to take care of a baby"
My DS hated a sling so I was never able to action that classic Mumsnet advice of "just pop the baby in a sling" to crack on with housework etc
Proud owner of a toilet brush!
Centerparcs just isn't my thing... But I do get why other people like it. Each to their own.
When my MIL comes to stay it's for MONTHS not days and I read these posts about people not wanting the PILS to stay for a weekend and think... Gosh, that's nothing! (It's a cultural thing)

I don't live in the centre of the universe aka London. But I do shop in Waitrose so that nearly makes up for it.

I like my husband, MIL and weddings, and I will never be full from a salad, no matter how massive.

Also people saying "my house isn't spotless" that's not anti MN at all, if anything it's the other way round.
Nah, that was MN in the old days. These days MN reads like a copy of Good Housekeeping from 1958.

Im not mumsnetty because:
I don’t have a high earning husband.
HATE wfh.
Don’t have a massive pension “pot”.
Don’t know which universities are Russell Group.
Don’t have a National Trust membership
I like and want to spend time with people outside “my little family” (puky face).
I haven’t diagnosed myself as autistic.
Don’t have a heart attack at the very idea of not having savings of at least 20k as a safety net.
Am not obsessed with France and the French.

I'm a sort of deranged apologetic Windigo, made of moss and twigs and moose hair and beaver tails stuck together with maple syrup. I lurk in the woods making strange effigies of myself and lift my shaggy head to the sky to howl lugubriously at the northern lights in the cold darkness of an Arctic winter.

Yes, but do you have a loo brush?

I am single with no kids and no likelihood of having them. I live by myself.

I have difficult family members but make the effort with them because I believe that nothing can be solely 'their fault'. This has helped to heal things enormously.

Ditto any irritating neighbours. Also, I don't care what my neighbours get up to if it doesn't directly affect me.

I answer the phone and the door even when I don't know who is there.

I can't stand Joules or Fatface.

I rarely change my bed because I can't be bothered.

I use a loo brush pretty much every day.

I would never get involved in an extra marital affair bit can usually see both sides of the story.

I do love Mumsnet though. People here have helped me with many things over the years, both directly and indirectly.

I don’t wear trainers with with skirts or dresses and never owned a white pair

I’m another loo brush owner who now feels pangs of guilt when cleaning the toilet

I now feel similar guilt wearing my dressing gown (I’m in my ‘dressing gown of doom’)

I never serve anyone chicken

I don’t have any interest in gel manicures or getting a little machine so I can do them at home

Although I was on the original thread, I remain fuzzy on the penis beaker concept

This may have been the demographic years ago when it was first launched but it certainly isn't now. Most surely buy their knickers from Primark.

I would guess many users live on junk food, the old cooking form scratch will be a tiny minority as will be posh holidays. Most probs go to Skeggy in a caravan and there's nothing wrong with that.

You get the occasional 'we have a 6 figure income where can we go for a holiday on a 20k budget' but it is the exception/wind up not representative of the average user.

I'm not going to have an inheritance and I'm completely fine with that.

I can live very comfortably on 40k

I am in contact with all my family and relatives, even the ones who are being weird and mean.

My parents are not narcissists.

I'm pro-choice (but would never force that on anyone else)

No, I'm too common.

I don't earn a six figure salary.
I don't have 500k in my pension pot.
I have a mortgage.
I will have a mortgage until I'm 65.
I don't have 100k in savings.

I'll go better in one word....I'm male.

Yes and no

I have 2 children - the ‘right’ number according to MN…
I can make a roast chicken last 2 meals
I don’t own a loo brush
I hate housing estates and live in a Victorian terrace which is tasteful but poky and on the market
I’m NC with both parents for sad reasons

So insofar yes I am a typical Mumsnetter - however

Neither I, my DP or my kids are ND (unless there’s a big surprise in store)
My eldest loves school (youngest only 1)
None of us have anxiety or cry and shake at having to answer the door or pick up the phone
I like my colleagues and enjoy socialising with them
I hate WFH
I use fake tan
I consider myself too young for Boden, Seasalt etc
I’m unmarried
I think Benedict Cumberbatch and Tom Hardy are deeply unattractive
I think women should use the free and highly reliable contraception that is available to us rather than moaning about a perfectly foreseeable CMS situation (yep, sorry)
I’m not ‘absolutely terrified’ of nuclear war, conscription or running out of loo roll/pasta