To ask if anyone has given their DCs an “old fashioned childhood”?

[1sttimemum0]

And by old fashioned I pretty much mean without screens (small screens - phones tablets, I don’t mean TV) and where kids could play out unsupervised with other kids when they reach a reasonable age.

If you did, how did you do it?

Ish. We didn't allow a tablet until reception. They used them at school and for practice, so we got one mid reception and limited it to about 4 hours a week. Half of that or more is school work. Mostly spelling and maths practice.

Our child plays out on the green in the culde sac. No cars drive past at all. The key has been living rurally in a small community where all the kids know each other from school, and having access to safe communal space within eyesight of our house.

Didn't find the no small screens thing an issue until school. We just didn't do it and it wasn't needed.

No, we live in central London. I do wish screens weren't a thing, and they get shouted at if they play in the courtyard of our building, which makes me angry.

Going out to play is a matter of where you live. It happens here as there are lots of families (suburbs) and green spaces so kids can do things like play football without being antisocial.

Screens is a difficult issue but being a good role model and making sure your child rarely sees you on yours will help.

My cousins have this. They live on a farm in the Dales. Minimal screen time. Always out helping their Dad. They’re lovely calm confident kids. Seems a very natural life.

Ours have limited screens (usually just in the car) and are allowed tv (DH will sit and watch with them) but our main focus is being outside where we can. We are lucky enough to be able to keep ponies for them so that's a massive focus/way of life and I think my eldest (7) is like me; a city girl with a country heart

Yes, we have this. Semi rural town in Scotland. Large park two minutes away, primary school a five minute walk away. Kids spend summers out for hours with their friends on bikes, scooters, playing football. It has been lovely and we know we are lucky.

Sort of I guess, no phones till secondary, no iPads other than on journeys, quite limited TV.

We let them roam about quite young - and saying no phones when they were late primary they could take one of a couple of old Nokias we have. Plus encouraging forest school days and some camping type holidays

Yes I think we managed this. Ds didn’t have any tech until he went to high school. We literally didn’t see any need for it before then. We live on a quiet and safe estate, so he played out with other kids from age of 7. The only rules were, no annoying anyone else, and no leaving the estate.

Hes 15 now and still loves being outdoors. Loves his phone too though!

Sure, I sent her up the chimney before she could walk.

I am a bit dubious about the romanticisation of 'old-fashioned' things. I am quite happy for DD to use screens, because it's a good thing to be computer literate, and often what's available is entertaining and interesting.

In lots of other ways I do value things that I think are becoming harder for children to access. We live in a village so DD has played out with other children unsupervised since she was 5 (I was very nearby!). Other children will also come knock and ask her if she wants to come out to play, so it feels quite doable. But we are hugely lucky that it is a tiny village.

When I was a child I did things that make my hair stand on end, in retrospect (like free-wheeling our bikes down the massive, hairpin-bend-filled, single-track road where the tractors came and went ... I don't know how we never ended up under their wheels, and more than once we landed in the ditch!). I want to give DD freedom, but mostly I work on teaching her to recognise dangers and deal with them.

Not really no, they have grown up consistent with the time they live in. That said screens and parks are not an either or.

We have in that our kids (12, 10 and 5) have tv at weekends only and no other screens (no tablets, gaming, phones). We also live in a close-knit rural community where they can walk to school at a young age, play with other kids in the woods and generally get plenty of outdoor time.

Tbh though, the limiting factor is other families - if you want your kids to be able to play out with others, you need other local families to be on board. I would say most parents where we are would allow it but if kids have access to screens they often don’t want to play outside.

No but I love the idea of it a very great deal.

I rather fancy a sort of 50s Enid Blyton childhood really with picnics and adventures and meals of bread and ham and tinned fruit and building resilience.

I might need to think about how to incorporate that a bit more into current RL maybe.

I think that sounds amazing . I would hsve loved that for my kids.

The helping out with parents is the bit I really value. I changed jobs a couple of years ago, to work in a plant nursery, and one of the nicest things is that I can bring my DD into work and get her helping out. She loves the responsibility of it, and I think it's good for her to have exposure to working life, and to practical skills that will stand her in good stead.

We moved to Northumberland to a village near Hexham. The kids still have screens but they are in and out of neighbours houses all the time and play on nearby farms in and local woods.
This afternoon they watched ghost busters on terrestrial tv - pretty retro in my book.

No.

I don’t smack. They will go to school and not be ridiculed by teachers (I hope) if ND. If one or both are gay they can come out and not be scared to. They can have partners from a different cultural heritage than theirs. I’ll stick with 2024.

Same. You need to live in a small town or village to achieve it nowadays I think.

No tablets here. DC got phones the summer before secondary. I would have been happy to delay it further, but school uses lots apps. DS walked to and from primary himself in y4-6. DD moved to a primary further away so needed a lift. They played out but this dwindled away as their friends became more occupied with Xboxes and (bizarrely) tutoring. It’s really dependent on there being other likeminded families about. But DS started camping with a couple of friends during lockdown and they’ve kept that up which I am very happy about. I am sad that DD has had fewer such experiences.

Don't you get left behind with studies / homework if there is no screen access?

Sort of. They do have screens, but mostly regulate their own time on them. They spend their time in the garden with their siblings a lot.

Holidays are caravan holidays with friends. Again, there are small screens, but they mostly choose to play in the park or cycle or build fires. Days out are U.K. beach, ice cream, buckets and spades, burying each other, arcades, fish and chips.

Yeah, until my older two decided to go to secondary school and COVID lockdown happened less than a year later.

How: as many other said - living in an area with large green spaces in easy walking distance and walking paths. It also really helped home educating for primary. We had a desktop computer connected to the TV for computer work which we didn't start doing til they were Year 3 age and only for very short periods of time.

That fell apart when my older kids secondary schools as they literally cannot do any of their homework without a device and one needed a phone with an available internet browser to do work in school. COVID amplified it as then everything was online. With my three teens and near-teen, I feel I'm still trying to refind a better balance even when they are more than happy during breaks to go outside still.

I knew someone who was so completely against screens that she didn’t want her DC using them at school (I.e. no smart board, no iPads for the phonics games etc.) she actually raised it with the school and was pretty much told where to go, they can’t totally change how they teach for the sake of one child.

Technology has made a lot of things better, I watched lots of TV as a child and my parents were always on at me about how it would give me square eyes, now people think TV is fine and iPads are the devil. When my DC are older they will probably have something new to get worked up over, I’m sure I watched something that said years ago parents used to discourage children from reading books as they rotted the brain!

Im going off topic though, in answer to the OP no, my DC’s have iPads and I let them self regulate which actually, in our house anyway, means that they are not used that much as they don’t see them as a treat or something that is forbidden. When they have the choice they would always rather be outside or playing with toys/games. We don’t have a lot of other children near us or I would them play out all the time, we just have to keep doing play dates instead.

We did but they are now mid 20s

No tablets here. Children all primary age. They never really ask for them. They have to do their homework on my phone which is rubbish, but not worth having screens for.

In some ways, yes. Mine have never had iPads and my eldest only has limited use of a phone now he’s in Y6 and can go out by himself with friends. No social media, and PlayStation use is shared between both children in a family area and restricted to certain times. They still have a bedtime story at 8 and 11. I can’t exactly call them free-range because we live in a city, but we’re a very active family who are outdoors a lot, and they play a lot of sports. They do eat UPFs but I try to limit as much as possible. Both boys loved Enid Blyton books and I can definitely see similarities to their childhood! They’re both polite, calm, happy kids