To ask if anyone has given their DCs an “old fashioned childhood”?

[1sttimemum0]

And by old fashioned I pretty much mean without screens (small screens - phones tablets, I don’t mean TV) and where kids could play out unsupervised with other kids when they reach a reasonable age.

If you did, how did you do it?

Can't quite work out if you are being sarcastic or not here.

I'm always surprised when people say kids won't manage to handle technology if not exposed to it. My generation wasn't but we managed to learn to use computers, internet, phones, etc no problem.

We didn't have any tablets/iPads or games consoles when mine were little. They are teens now and we've still not got iPads in the house but of course they do all have phones now.

We couldn't afford consoles and tablets when they were small which is why we didn't have them. But when they went to other kids houses they'd get obsessed with the consoles and I'd wonder if it would be better to have them at home so it's less of a novelty when at friends houses.

They got their own games console for their rooms when they were teenagers. We were grateful for these over lockdown!

In my experience it's hard for kids to be different to others - can't easily do an "old fashioned" childhood unless all their friends are doing that too!

I still don't allow phones at the dining table at home or in restaurants. Even if we'd been able to afford iPads I don't think I would ever have allowed them out and about. They'd have been useful for long journeys mind! There's only so much I Spy a mum can take 😂

It's a reference to Enid Blyton?

@ZenNudist 😁That brings back memories! I'm not sure if I'd want my children playing with the locals - I hear that corporal punishment is rife in your area.

Agreed. Train your child to thrive in the age and area they live. Anything else is setting them up for difficulty.

Ours were also allowed to "play out" from about 5 and walk to the shops (about an 8min walk with a pelican crossing) from about 8ish(?). However, we don't live in a city, we live on the edge of a town, in a fairly middle class area, which makes this easier, though.

None of ours had screens until 7 and no phones until 11 (and their first was a "brick"). . No TV or phones in their rooms until 14. And no computer/laptop in their room until 18.
They are allowed to go online/game/etc... but it all needs to be downstairs. No social media until 13 (which, incidentally, is the age for a lot of SM platforms anyway, so from that perspective we were just "following the rules").

They all had to take turns with chores around the house from a very young age and were given increasing responsibility for things as they got older.

I'm still trying to work out how effective all of this is.

Who is 'we'? The many people who are currently struggling because they didn't manage to cope with technology changing? Perhaps you mean you were the rather lucky, well-adjusted people who would have managed fine anyway?

OTOH, if you are a pensioner who is struggling to cope with paying your bills, and you've never used the internet and have always worked in jobs where you didn't need to so much as turn on a computer, you may find it harder.

It's not a different situation from today's children. It's probably fine to deprive your child of access to technology if you also have 4-5 acres, money for a pony and sailing lessons, and so on. Your child will doubtless be given the resources to catch up.

But if your child is living in temporary accommodation, and you're finding it hard to pay for clothing and food, let alone access to technology, it's another story.

Not really but I tried to give them lots of time outdoors and lots of time with books.
We did lots of things outdoors like skimming stones, paddling in streams, flying kites, building forts on a beach and gathering twigs to build dens and homes for wildlife and so on.
They still had screens though. I couldn't cope if The Lion King couldn't act as a babysitter from time to time.

@SarahAndQuack

Oh, I didn't know that! Thank you

It sounds totally bonkers out of context, doesn't it?! TBF it's pretty bonkers even in the books.

I'm always surprised when people say kids won't manage to handle technology if not exposed to it. My generation wasn't but we managed to learn to use computers, internet, phones, etc no problem.

We learnt at the same speed though, being exposed to each thing as it came along. To deliberately withhold tech from children will leave them behind their peers, so while they will of course be able to learn, they will not be at the same level as the other children.

I think it's funny how parents are falling over themselves to have the highest achiever, best reader, etc but don't want their kids to progress with technology at the rate their peers do

Ours mostly did. We live rurally and had terrible internet until about 5 years ago and no mobile phone signal. There really wasn't an option to be glued to a screen.

@colouredball this why we're learning the harms of it while it's harming our kids. Yes it's amazing technology if we're using it to learn but it can be harmful and addictive if we're consuming it mindlessly.
How many adults are addicted? Is this what we want for our children? We can't deny there's a danger here too.

I don't think restricting access to tech will have the same effect for all children. Much will depend on the child themselves (aptitude, interest etc), their socio-economic background and what they actually do with the tech at hand.

Several hours of mindless doom-scrolling on social media is arguably not as productive as a couple of hours of focussed effort at coding.

Mine did, although my youngest is 19! I also stayed at home until they had all left school!
They did watch quite a lot of TV though (but no screens in their rooms) and loved their games consoles but the winters are long and dark where we are! Walked to school, played in the park after, lots of playing in woods and fields, visits to friends farms, camping holidays. Later on there was a bit of alfresco drinking as is traditional in country areas.
My main regret is that we didn't move to the town where their high school was located as they would have had a better social life.
One is a bit of a screen addict, mostly online gaming but he is studying computing so hard to avoid, however the other two are studying subjects related to activities and interests they developed as kids that had nothing to do with screens.
None of them are particularly into social media and are a bit scathing about those a bit younger than them who are really into it.

Lived in Germany for 6 years and almost noone had kids on screens and phones. Moved to the USA and our kids didn't get a phone until 13 or 14.
They all had a young childhood (under 12) that was what I would consider wholesome and not dominated by media. They are 17-23 now, so this was 5+ years ago. You need friends and a community with the same values as much as possible.

I don’t really understand this idea that kids need ‘tech’ at home so as not to fall behind. All the tech I have ever had to use personally and professionally has either been completely intuitive or useable after a quick Google for instructions. Surely when the time comes that they need it, they’ll work it out quickly? Unless you’re talking about coding but that’s a niche skill.

Ours have screens (age 5 and 3), but we don't restrict usage as we don't want them seeing them as desirable. Luckily, they're both very good at self regulating. We live in an area where our car isn't right outside our house, and instead it's a car free green space and a path for kids to ride bikes. DD5 plays out there now with the neighbours kids, and did that most of the afternoon today. It's great, as we can see her playing through the window! DD3 sometimes joins her (with our supervision, of course!). They also enjoy spending time in the garden, drawing, painting etc.

Also the harms and opportunity costs of screens are so clear that even if it does lead to falling behind I think it’s a price worth paying.

@SarahAndQuack But you were
talking about feeling left out. One personal
experience. I’m talking more broadly about what I witness at work - the technology aspect of the curriculum (at primary at least, which is all I can speak of) is so extraordinarily simple that it really doesn’t matter if children experience it at home or not.

@Moonshine5 mentioned coding in EYFS. In many settings this won’t even involve a screen, they’ll use robots like beebot or volty (which are awesome and great fun!) which you programme directly. Children categorically don’t need to have ever used a tablet or computer in order to very quickly figure out how it’s done. They are literally toys made for kids.

In some ways. I avoided having broadband at home until ds started secondary school which meant he has never been bothered by social media.

He had a tablet so could play a locally held version of Minecraft, and that tablet connected to the internet if we went out anywhere, as an occasional treat, but it meant that by the time he had daily internet access, he was mature enough to handle it himself.

He is one of the few teens I know who is indifferent to his phone, and since he goes to a school where phones are banned in school hours, his phone is most often found uncharged on his bedroom floor.

Summer holidays were spent cycling and larking around outside.

This is the point, though. You say 'after a quick Google,' so clearly, you were already tech-savvy.

I work with people who are really not. Many people do not know how to use Google, or they're not very sure.

It is really problematic to say that because you, someone who already know technology, can cope, that must mean everyone else can too.

I don't limit screens but we go out a lot as a family to balance screen time naturally. Live very near the coast and my son is having an outdoorsy childhood.

Too many horror stories live in my head to let him play out unsupervised.

Well ... yes, I was talking about my personal experience. And so were you! It's rather odd to think your anecdata is more important than anyoen else's!

FWIW, I taught for over a decade, and I most certainly found that children who were not au fait with technology were at a disadvantage as adults. My students were generally in the 18-22 bracket, and you could very clearly see which of them had been taught to use these resources well, and which of them had not.

It was very common to find that people who patronise students for being unfamiliar with computers by telling them it was all 'simple' or 'intuitive'. I think this is a real problem TBH. We've got into the way of thinking - as a society - that 'screens' are everywhere, and that everyone is tech-literate. It isn't the case. There are generations of students whose parents don't use or understand computer technology, and who feel alienated from it. It really doesn't help those students to make out that 'screens' are bad.

These days I work a lot with children who have come out of the education system as soon as possible, and often, they and their parents have lost out because no one has bothered to help them understand, and access, online education.