To ask if anyone has given their DCs an “old fashioned childhood”?

[1sttimemum0]

And by old fashioned I pretty much mean without screens (small screens - phones tablets, I don’t mean TV) and where kids could play out unsupervised with other kids when they reach a reasonable age.

If you did, how did you do it?

Good parenting and letting your kids play out unsupervised are mutually exclusive nowerdays unless you live somewhere positively idilic, which most of us don’t.

I limit my remaining teenagers access to screens and try to limit what he has has access too.

Our kids play out and have tech.

My kids have played out since they were 6.. Youngest now 11 and she's off out for hours at a time with her pals. On bikes. Exploring the woods etc.

It's completely normal here nothing old fashioned about it. All the kids go out to play.

They got cheap reconditioned phones at age 10. And better phones for high high school. They've had tablets since they were about 5 and now have Chromebooks provided by school.

Same here. They didn't have phones til they were about 14 I think. Eldest is now 32 however. I'm really glad - would hate to be raising small children now with the pressures of SM/tech.

I feel like we're trying to keep a balance. Ds had no screen time before he turned 1. We still generally don't allow screens unless ds is sick and even then we will still try to break it up with books and music or singing etc to monitor how long he is watching for and we're very particular about what types of show we let him watch.

We try very hard to encourage other types of play and get him more involved in the things we're doing around the house, like cleaning/ cooking/ baking/ gardening etc which he loves. He's still quite wee for a lot of things but I can see that getting easier as he gets older and more independent and capable.

I agree with some of this myself too. I am really against social media personally and the falseness so don't engage. My ND child loves YouTube ( which can be dodgy so needs oversight) but his awareness and understanding of the world and diversity is profound! We live quite rurally so not alot of diversity. Child goes out freely on bike rides and meets friends yet also enjoys technology.

The less I tried control this the better things have been. I really do see the downside to screens - social media definitely - but this is the modern world and I feel one could potentially set their kids up for some difficulty if they have no access as they get older. I think up until about 8/9 screen free would not be an issue so much socially. After that then yes I think it could. Happy to be corrected as everyone is of course different 🙏

We did, lots of dogs, ponies and team sports meant they would always rather be outside and had little interest in screens.

I think you really do.

I was born in 1984 and my parents decided we wouldn't have TV except for 'educational' things (so we were allowed to watch the Royal Society Christmas lectures, or University Challenge). We also didn't listen to the radio. I remember feeling so horribly left out. At one point, at school, we had a 'treat' where we got to sing a popular pop song - the teacher just assumed we'd all know it, and asked us all to sing a line in turn. Of course I couldn't. I got bullied because I had no idea about popular culture, or any of the perfectly normal, innocuous things you could access on TV.

One of the things I enjoy most with my DD is watching things together, and talking about them. Cutting out 'screens' is like being a Victorian parent and saying 'ooh, we mustn't let the children read Dickens!'.

That is rubbish - check with school; they may be able to help you access a proper screen for homework.

I did..because I'm 66 and my kids are 40 and 32..
So didn't have it all then.

As much as we can.

We live very rurally/farming and have around 4 - 5 acres we feel are safe for the children (6 and 8) to roam in fairly freely including a couple of acres of woodland. They build dens, make rope swings, play in a mud pond thing they have made, mix potions in an old bucket full of who knows what and pretend to be squirrels/owls.

It's not unknown for them to pack a rucksack with some snacks and toys and roam around for a few hours or so.

I can always just about see them from the kitchen window - I never get involved unless someone gets hurt (rarely) as I think it spoils whatever magic/imagination is happening if adults are monitoring too closely.

They do watch TV and have access to a tablet and a Switch but the latter two tend to gather dust unless they have friends round or need to do homework that is app based (the 8yo currently has a spelling game app for school for example).

I asked them what they fancied doing over the Easter holidays and the 6yo wants to be shown how to lamb sheep and the 8yo is planning an elaborate Easter egg hunt all round outside for her younger cousins.

I'm making the most of it whilst it lasts.

We do in the sense DS is five and doesn't use tablets, phones, consoles etc, he has to do his maths homework on a device so uses the family PC, supervised obviously and I'm not happy about it but the school looked at me like I was mad when I asked if there was a non screen option. We're outdoors as a family a lot, walk or cycle locally, part board games as a family most weeks, house full of books etc but he won't be playing out like I did when I was at junior school. DH works in youth MH/justice and I work in criminal justice and we live in a fairly urban seaside town, lots of gangs, county lines etc.

I think so. I grew up on a farm, so had a lot of freedom to explore and get dirty, have adventures etc. Despite the fact we live city centre, we let our children do that too. Helps that we live next to a huge park where they could romp around in the woods, fall in puddles etc. I always let them take risks.

but I think the biggest thing we did in this respect was for me to be a SAHM for 10 years. So I was able to take them out twice a day, let them get muddy, romp around etc. We spent a lot of time with friends, doing crafty stuff, baking, exploring, treasure hunts etc. Neither of them went into childcare before going to school: they had 5 years of free play, exploring, socialising, etc before that. Also, my parents were / are a big part of their lives and taught them loads from sewing to baking to fishing.

they also watched a lot of CBeebies, played a lot of Minecraft and watched stupid videos on YouTube. The two are not mutually exclusive.

@pastabest
We live very rurally/farming and have around 4 - 5 acres we feel are safe for the children (6 and 8) to roam in fairly freely including a couple of acres of woodland. They build dens, make rope swings, play in a mud pond thing they have made, mix potions in an old bucket full of who knows what and pretend to be squirrels/owls.

this sounds wonderful

We live in London, but my daughter has started riding lessons at a local riding school when she was about 6, which then progressed into her spending her whole childhood at yards with horsey friends and having her own ponies - riding every day after school and spending all her weekends at the yard in all weathers - handing out on hay bales, going to stay away competitions together in big lorries, hacking out together, working there etc. It's as wholesome a childhood as I could provide living in rubbish area in London. She's a teenager now and still spends all her free time at the yard.

So far with the screens yes. If I stay inner city no to playing out with friends

Of course bent over on screens isn't good but surley that's not the only part of a r
Childhood?
I mean dx could be roaming around fields, doing wondeful classes, reading books... Seeing friends as well as having a phone.

Yes. No tablets or phones until secondary school. We are lucky that we live by a small park where all the kids from their school played every day. They are now year 9 and have phones but no social media. They are both well adjusted, have lots of friends and do not resent being deprived of the tech that their friends had.

Friends of mine have really strived to do this. They live in a small but gorgeous village with a loads of great places for children to play, their kids have been allowed out on bikes and on foot for most of the days they are free and they have no TV, no screens except the adults for work. The kids are indeed lovely and unspoiled. One of them sat on my lap through a long church service (over an hour) in silence, completely able to respect the occasion and to concentrate through the whole thing. They aren't perfect, they do fight like any other siblings etc

Me! I made my daughters wear nice dresses, my son wore trousers and jumpers, none of this tracksuit lark. We also had my siblings child living here some of the time but she was more inclined to dress up.

In the mornings the kids helped me in the house whilst DH went out to work. The girls did domestic tasks, cooking, cleaning and tidying. DS did garden and heavy lifting work.

Once they'd done their tasks, in the absence of screens I let them out to play in the local area. We live somewhere very rural and there's a woodland next to our house. The kids spend hours there and beg to be let out to play again.

They seem to have made friends with some other children in the local area but they all have bizarre nicknames like Silky Moon-Face and Saucepan Man.

It hasn't done them any harm and it's really helped their creativity and imagination. I often hear them talking about the games they play in the woods. Something about a tree far away and lots of strange lands they visited. Its done them the world of good to be banned from the ipad and xbox.

Of course whilst they are out playing I'm on mumsnet and DH plays grand theft auto.

Do you mean because kids are less tech savvy, or because they can’t actually access homework?
if the former, no. If the latter, I think it depends on the school - we haven’t had any issues until P5 as homework has all been paper based, but it’s now online so DD accesses it via my phone.

It’s absolutely not the case that kids need to use tablets etc at home (for fun or ‘educational’ apps) in order to be prepared for the technology requirements of the curriculum.

I beg to differ! Children who aren't able to access technology at home are at a huge disadvantage.

And to answer your question OP - somewhat. No small screens is easy tbh. Just don’t introduce them. The playing out thing is a bit dependant on where you live; our neighbourhood isn’t great for it so instead we meet up with friends at forests, beaches etc where the kids can play out of our sight and try to give them plenty of unstructured free outdoor play that way.

Really? Early Years here learn basics about coding at school. Do you sincerely believe waiting until year 5 to access tech is sensible?
Also what about the "technological requirements" of life. Very little is paper based.
I believe in 2024 there should be a balance / happy medium of tech plus outdoors/ social interactions.

Can you give examples? Because this is not something I’ve experienced in years of working in schools.

I did already give an example of how being let out from contemporary technology is alienating. But you'd have to read the whole thread, sorry! It's quite a lot of text but it is there.