Do our children choose us

[Whoneedsthreeloos]

Bit out there, but I was reading some reports of people saying their young children have said things about finding and choosing them to be their mummy. Some were saying the children just said one day that they saw (the mum) doing such and such and decided they wanted her to be their mum, most saying it was before they were born.
I asked my Dd casually if she remembers before she was born and she just laughed and asked what I meant, so I obviously left it there
The only strange thing I ever had was when Dd was maybe 3.5-4 and she told me she had a dream where I was in a garden and had two little girls, sisters who looked just like me, but she wasn’t there 🙁she was quite upset by this,
Dd looks nothing like me (v different colouring etc) I’ve lost two pregnancies before-ectopic & miscarriage, Dd was a miracle baby via I f..hence the pondering about it all.

It might comfort some (very gullible) people, but it's basically not true.

I don't believe children exist before they're conceived.

Under this idea, why would children born unwanted to abusive parents make that choice? If they could see how these people acted before?

My older sister literally text me 2 days ago about this. She said her youngest DS who's 5 told her that before he was here he was a star in the sky watching her and his 2 brothers and then he picked her as his mummy & she said why did you pick me and he said to her because she was a kind mummy.

@midnights0 Ive heard lots of similar stories, often when the child is very young, just a throwaway comment and off they go and play..interesting 🤷🏻‍♀️

@Precipice Yes, I thought similar too, it doesn’t make sense

No, given some of the parents who've turned out to be utter monsters, of course kids can't choose them.

No, this is absolute woo.

Kids can come out with some crazy shit.

@XenoBitch But why would they say these things at such an early age and then just skip off

Because even at an early age they can tell what brings them attention and what doesn't.

Mine when she was under 5 would always talk about "when I was big and you were small..."

Mine announced that he was a train.

@Teacup19 See what does that mean

Which platform did he use to announce it?

I'm probably one of the least woo people out there, but my dd said something to me when she was 3 and I can't think about it too much because it freaks me out.

She said she remembers being in the waiting room waiting for me, and I thought she was on about the doctors or something, and she said no, it was so bright and she was waiting for me before she was born, again I thought it was a cartoon or something, so I asked her again, and she said a little girl told her she had to wait a bit longer and then I would be ready and that the little girl looked like her and sat with her for a while before she left. She says she didn't have clothes or anything, and couldn't see herself but it was all just brightness apart from this girl.

My daughter died almost a year to the day that my other daughter was born.

I've never asked her since because I just can't deal with it, so I keep telling myself it's a cartoon.

Kids do come out with some crazy shit.

What I will say is that I had the strongest dream about 6m before I conceived DD where I sat on a bench with her. We talked and she cuddled me. It was such a lovely dream because we had been TTC for nearly a year and I loved this little chat.

As she grows I’m convinced she was that girl. The mannerisms, the chat - it was such a vivid dream and it’s only in the last year I’ve realised - it was her.

Of course my sensible brain says she didn’t exist, it’s not possible. That I’m backfilling my memories. But I sort of wonder if there’s a realm between living - where the dead live on and the yet to be born exist too - and that’s where dreaming takes us.

(I know dreams are just brains making sense of things, and it’s electrical activity. But it was a bit odd, and I’m open minded)

My son chose me! But he’s adopted 😁

He was matched with another couple and it fell apart. I’d been campaigning my social worker for months before this that ‘Baby J’ was meant to be my child and all they said was they’d keep me in mind if things didn’t work out with the family he was linked and then matched with.

Eventually intros started with his new mummy and daddy and they went terribly. His foster carers said they knew the whole time it wasn’t meant to be, he wasn’t himself, he wasn’t happy. The adopters called it off the day before he was due to move home.

I got a call the next morning to ask if I wanted to be linked with him, and the rest is history! His carers said the moment he first saw me through the window on the day we first met, his face lit up.

He is only 7 so haven’t gone into detail with that part with him yet, but he tells me all the time that he chose me to be his mummy.

It’s bollocks. Otherwise why would children be born into horrible abusive families or war zones.

Same reason they say they're a dinosaur, a dog, a lamppost or a giant! Same reason they tell you they've been to the moon, used to live in the sea, or HAVE cleaned their teeth, really, mummy, and another boy came in the house and ate the chocolate 😂

My Mum was always quite 'woo'. She said that with my youngest half sister, she knew she was going to conceive in the moment but as it was kind of a short term fling, thought she'd better take the MAP. So she did. Then it happened again and she felt my sister was asking to exist so she let it happen. She knew she was having a girl and what she would call her. The father didn't work out, as expected and buggered off to get someone else pregnant (who to be fair, he did stay with). But my Mum always said she knew he wouldn't be around but that my sister just really had to be born.

I think we can't possibly know what is possible and what isn't, from our very limited human perspective.

Kids do talk a lot of nonsense but one of the saddest things my dd ever said when she was very small was “next time I’m a baby I’ll do X’ and I was so sad for her not realising it’s just a one time deal!

I've heard of this theory before. As someone who never got to have a baby of their own and likely never will, this theory crushes my soul. It's basically saying a child has never chosen me to be their mother.

Makes me feel even more like shit for having fertility issues.

My DS (youngest) would make frequent references to when he was 'in the sky waiting to be born'. Insistent he could see the rest of us and that he decided he would be born to our family and when. He'd talk about things we'd done without him (that he'd heard about) telling us what he'd 'seen' us do. We've chatted about it since (he's 24) and he says that he couldn't stand the thought there was family life before him and wanted a role. He was joking, but I think he nailed it.

It's can't be true. But my youngest who is now 6 has talked on and off since he could speak about when he chose us. He has a whole narrative about being from the future and choosing us as his parents when he 'came back'. He feels his big brother figured into this decision too. I don't know where he got it from but it's sweet to listen to.