Do our children choose us

[Whoneedsthreeloos]

Bit out there, but I was reading some reports of people saying their young children have said things about finding and choosing them to be their mummy. Some were saying the children just said one day that they saw (the mum) doing such and such and decided they wanted her to be their mum, most saying it was before they were born.
I asked my Dd casually if she remembers before she was born and she just laughed and asked what I meant, so I obviously left it there
The only strange thing I ever had was when Dd was maybe 3.5-4 and she told me she had a dream where I was in a garden and had two little girls, sisters who looked just like me, but she wasn’t there 🙁she was quite upset by this,
Dd looks nothing like me (v different colouring etc) I’ve lost two pregnancies before-ectopic & miscarriage, Dd was a miracle baby via I f..hence the pondering about it all.

Well my mother tried to kill me, so I'd have to say no, children don't choose their parents.

Sounds like small, powerless, recent arrivals; who know they are the centre of their parents' universe; creating a story that resolves that seeming paradox, makes sense of their situation and gives them power,

How can their parents and family have existed before them, without them, given that the central purpose of their family is to look after them?

This is why children only say this to nice parents, who do treat them well, so they think they would have chosen.

Yes, I have some belief in this. Not every human experience will be a good one, so sometimes the soul won't enter into a 'nice' life. It depends on what needs to be learned that time around.

Er, no. Little kids have v active imaginations and don’t understand the laws of existence or the difference between fantasy and reality so they say all sorts.

❤️

My children are currently seals and our living room is an ocean with the sofa and footstools being ice floats. You don’t have to believe everything they say.

If kids choose parents then surely we would choose ours?

If they can remember why can't we?

Well, no. Because how do you explain abusive parents? Pretty sure their children wouldn't choose them.

If it is true I showed a serious lack of judgement.

@Whoneedsthreeloos

No doesn't make sense to me, despite even certain religious faith too saying similar thing,

However what i do find interesting 🤔 that quite often can happen one child in family dynamics is
that child feeling they either don't fit in or belong to that family dynamics,
obviously can be a reflection and reaction of toxic or and dysfunctional families dynamics,
However not allways the case,

Such as say a family who are very analytical or and studious minded going into universities type of thing,

and then having a child who is bohemian and very artistic and that family confused as why they aren't like us,

Or

a family who are racial prejudiced and then has a family member who questions challenges their toxic belief system and feels like a social pariah in that kind of family dynamics,

A very christian traditional Conservative values family values like attitudes remisant of 50s era of men go to work and women stay at home baking and doing houseworkset up, and has a child who grows up to be gay,
and that family are extremely confused about why their child brought up with their set of values like its set in stone testament,
turns out so different to what they expected ,

A single parent father who is epitome of misogynistic attitudes and values, who doesn't believe in any religions or faiths,
has a child who is senistive and emotionally intelligent ect,
who is wants to study in University the subject of Theology religion,

and his father loves him of course, but doesn't understand him thinks he is walking talking enigma

I find it interesting in history how prominent figure such as Virgin Queen Elizabeth 1 had all the characteristics that she had,
despite growing up around a deeply repugnant father who was the epitome of toxic man syndrome and welding enormous power with that,
such having 6 wives some of them were beheaded by his say so,

Queen Elizabeth 1 cause she grew up with toxic father,
Could have grown up to have a relationship with toxic abusive relantship with an arsehole
repeating a family dynamics pattern,

what can make the difference 🤔 in toxic families dynamics and in normal healthy family dynamics?
in regards of the child who grows up and thinks differently than to their family values mindsets,
they were born into then..

<<applause>> outstanding work @WhateverMate 😁

Try telling this to the poor poster with the active thread about her abusive mum.

@Whoneedsthreeloos
Some children are like wise souls,
as in they say things that you definitely don't expect a young child to even 🤔 think like that ,
let alone talk like that,

My daughter and son suprise me a lot in how they think and say stuff too,
growing up and even now as adults..

No. My dh has an awful mother he wouldn't and chosen to bring this in himself.

Utter sentimental bilge and also the sort of thing anti-choicers would say to justify policing women's choices. What rubbish, of course YABU to entertain this nonsense for a second.

I'm sure all the children born into war/famine/abuse/misogyny made those choices.

I'm amazed at the nonsense some people will lap up.

I'm watching a Netflix series about life after death at the moment. It's very interesting.
It's been proven that a level of consciousness was still happening even when the brain is dead and has been for some time. Why?

My son once said that when he was a unborn baby he climbed up and looked out of my Mouth apparently we were at the zoo and he saw a giraffe. 🤣. Maybe is wasnt making it up.

I had a series of weird experiences that led me to believe this before I found any literature/theories about this, having been a very logical person.
MN is not the place to discuss these things though. Many seem offended at others beliefs.

If this was true I'm sure my children would have chosen someone better at cooking than me.

How? Do we send them a cv through telekinesis?

If children can choose what parents to have why so so many choose choose to be born into dirt poor families in famine regions?

Who in the right mind would look down from heaven and say 'oh I'd like to go and be the child of ghat mummy and daddy in Sierra Leone!'

What a ridiculous notion!

If this were true then you did it as well. You would have chosen your parents. Do you feel any sense of that?

Marianne keyes has a book where this is the plot - the brightest star in the Skye, I think it's based on Irish folklore.

Well if that was the case abusive parents wouldn't have children would they because they wouldn't be "picked". Batshit sentiment.

Children have very vivid imaginations.
I invented a whole fantasy world where I was really a fairy and I had a whole family of fairies. They all had names. My name was Symbalina. I mentioned it to a couple of my friends and they laughed at me. I was about 6 at the time.
I wouldn't take to seriously some of small children's outpourings. Just smile along with them