Do our children choose us

[Whoneedsthreeloos]

Bit out there, but I was reading some reports of people saying their young children have said things about finding and choosing them to be their mummy. Some were saying the children just said one day that they saw (the mum) doing such and such and decided they wanted her to be their mum, most saying it was before they were born.
I asked my Dd casually if she remembers before she was born and she just laughed and asked what I meant, so I obviously left it there
The only strange thing I ever had was when Dd was maybe 3.5-4 and she told me she had a dream where I was in a garden and had two little girls, sisters who looked just like me, but she wasn’t there 🙁she was quite upset by this,
Dd looks nothing like me (v different colouring etc) I’ve lost two pregnancies before-ectopic & miscarriage, Dd was a miracle baby via I f..hence the pondering about it all.

I think it is a lovely thought. It makes it sound like there are higher, spiritual powers at work.

However like a PP has said, some parents are monsters. Why would a child choose those?

That’s the reductio ad absurdam of the argument isn’t it - not only does a child choose a particular (sometimes awful) family, but everyone alive has chosen everything that has happened to them? So someone who is trafficked and exploited, or a child soldier, or someone whose family die in an accident, or who has debilitating and terrifying mental illness, or… any of the awful things that can happen to a person… chose to experience that because it’s all part of life’s rich tapestry? That sounds like a belief system for someone who doesn’t want to think too hard about the world, or do anything to try and change it for the better.

Perhaps because as souls, we may sometimes choose a difficult human life as a learning experience? I don't know, that's just what I've read? I (kind of) understand that it's hard to understand that, in our mortal form, since we're so limited, but when we return to our soul/spirit forms, it will all make sense? 🤷‍♀️

I find it easier to think of us, not as human beings who have a soul, but souls who are having a temporary mortal, human experience - I think. It's all a bit mind blowing.

I think children come out with ideas like this because they are trying to make sense of the whole of their experience and it seems like a good idea!

This.

Children who are tortured and abused to death. What about them? Did they just make a bad choice?

Of course it's nonsense and just part of childhood make believe play.

What a load of abusive bollocks.

Oh that child picked to be born to parents in a warzone therefore it's fine to kill them because they picked parents whose politics or religion I don't like.

Oh that child picked to be born to a paedo therefore they are fair game.

Oh that woman didn't get picked cos she's not good enough to be someones mother.

Stop and think about what bollocks like this is REALLY saying please. It's not nice.

😆

I like to be open minded to spiritual ideas including past lives etc but my mother used to occasionally say I chose her and all babies choose parents, but she was neglectful then later horribly abusive & allowed others to abuse me so it upset me each time she said it. However doesn’t mean it doesn’t sometimes happen especially if some souls were reborn and returning to earth.

However doesn’t mean it doesn’t sometimes happen especially if some souls were reborn and returning

Yes, that's a rational and convincing point of view (not).

All.of this.

Small children are, on the whole, beguilingly moronic. And some grown ups are too.

To believe this you’d have to believe that there are disembodied souls floating around the universe checking out zygotes to inhabit based on some spiritual evaluation of the parents. And this works when donors are used too only in that case the non bio father is evaluated rather than the donor. And sometimes these all seeing souls just get it wrong and choose to inhabit embryos born to abusers or in famine areas. But never get it wrong about inhabiting a chimp rather than a human.

alternative explanation, small children make shit up.

Just because we don't know something, doesn't mean what people make up in their heads to explain things is true.

Which is a lovely idea, but there is no obvious evidence for it.

@zingally Maybe you had danced in his living room in a past life 😁

However doesn’t mean it doesn’t sometimes happen especially if some souls were reborn and returning

Why only some souls? Unless the majority of us are emerging souls, existing for the first time, all/more of us would have children who claimed to have chosen our parents. And we too would have been those children who had chosen our own parents.

I remember thinking something similar when I was very young. My thoughts went along the lines of trying to make sense of why I was me and why I was born into this body rather than another body, at the random chance that 'I' was looking out through my eyes, with my thoughts, my likes and dislikes, my personality. I would watch my hands touching things and think about my choice to do that at that moment. I also thought ablut what it would have been like to have my consciousness born into a different body in a different family or a different culture in a different country or a different time.

Thats all children are doing when they say these things. Some people think more than others. Minds that are predisposed to deep thinking, philosophising and hypothesising will have always been that way.

This is just children processing life, the universe and everything in it and coming up with an answer that is different to 42. That some people have theorised about this doesn't make it a fact. It makes it a theory that some people like the sound of and makes sense ro them.

This stuck in my mind and I just think it's really simple.

Most people think they're special and the hero of the story to some extent. Most of us struggle to imagine the world without us (or us, not in the world. Or no us at all).

Adults project this solipsism through 'life after death' fantasies. Little children do it through 'life before life' fantasies. Because they're so aware of their own newness and 'where did I come from' origin stories.

That's it. Simple really. Self-absorption and storytelling.

Because they have no idea of the implications of what they are saying. Probably recalling a dream.

When I was a small child my, very much older brothers, would tell me that I was an egg before I was born. I always insisted I wasn't an egg, I was a fairy.

I suspect that my view at that time was based as much in reality as the idea that children somehow exist before they are conceived and choose the parents they want to be born to.

It’s not a theory, it’s total nonsense. I’m sorry @BurntOutNurseryNurse, I hope things work out well for you whatever the outcome.

I remember telling my best friend as a young child that God had spoken to me and told me MY mummy was the best mummy in the whole wide world.

Item 1: She and I both came from religious households (her more than me).
Item 2: I was very, very competitive.

Rest assured it was a load of shite.

Edited for clarity: The claim that God SPOKE to me was a load of shite.

Nah, there are some pretty awful parents out there, I doubt a child would have chosen them.