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Original poster

Everyone is at a Spa with cocktails in hand!

103 replies

ChoccieEgg49 · 23/03/2024 16:12

On social media, almost every woman I know uploads photos of them at a spa day with obligatory cocktail in hand snaps complete with fluffy white robe. Is it a competition to look like you have friends/drink cocktails on a Tuesday afternoon/have a fun life? I rarely do these types of things with friends, if I do it's with my DH mostly.
Tbh I've become a lot more introverted and cba with trying to make my life look fun fun fun on social media. I don't do much with friends really these days, bar the odd coffee or lunch (not uploaded to SM)
I often wonder if many arrange these trips purely to 'upload' onto social media - or maybe everyone else's life really is much more exciting than mine 😂
All feels very showboaty imo. Or maybe I'm just a miserable perimenopausal old trout!

OP posts:
DidoKaftan · 23/03/2024 16:23

Why would being in your dressing gown in a spa on a Tuesday be in any way exciting, or suggest a fun life, though? I mean, I don’t personally see the appeal at all, and my life is not without friends and excitement. I think some people find this mystifyingly enjoyable, and others have conditioned to this that this is ‘fun’. I use my own Instagram for the occasional bit of amusing graffiti or sunset. Since I last posted a sunset photo, I have been in Marseille, Venice, climbed two mountains with friends, bought a house and gone on a retreat, but it wouldn’t be obvious from my SM.

PersephonePomegranate23 · 23/03/2024 16:24

I do these kinds of things with friends but don't post pictures on SM or post about it at all - I just enjoy it!

With all SM, there's an element of self promotion/ PR going on, I feel.

Original poster
ChoccieEgg49 · 23/03/2024 16:27

PersephonePomegranate23 · 23/03/2024 16:24

I do these kinds of things with friends but don't post pictures on SM or post about it at all - I just enjoy it!

With all SM, there's an element of self promotion/ PR going on, I feel.

Edited

Yes, I agree. I enjoy the odd spa with DH, don't get me wrong. This obsession with self promotion is odd though and a lot of people seem to feel to 'fit in' they also need to be doing these things. I'd love to go back to the 80s and 90s where we just had fun and enjoyed the moment without feeling the need to show our 'audience'. Feels a bit fake.

OP posts:
MrsTerryPratchett · 23/03/2024 16:28

I know people who essentially use FB as a kind of diary. They take lots of photos, upload the fun ones to Facebook and so they can look back at nice days. It's pretty wholesome and there's no harm in it.

If you're introverted and wouldn't enjoy it, don't. Everyone likes different things.

IStandWithACrutch · 23/03/2024 16:28

There’s a proportion of people who wouldn’t be arsed doing most of the things they do if they couldn’t post about it on social media.
I cannot be convinced otherwise.

Lemoncokezero · 23/03/2024 16:30

It's really incredibly strange you'd assume everyone is doing this just for social media or for some kind of competiton. As a go to thought it really says more about you than them. Perhaps they are sharing things they enjoy? I'm not a huge social media poster as I tend to forget, especially not in the moment.

everythinglooksbetterpaintedblack · 23/03/2024 16:30

@MrsTerryPratchett your phone does that anyway.
The posts are for likes and PR and nothing else

Original poster
ChoccieEgg49 · 23/03/2024 16:31

IStandWithACrutch · 23/03/2024 16:28

There’s a proportion of people who wouldn’t be arsed doing most of the things they do if they couldn’t post about it on social media.
I cannot be convinced otherwise.

I have to agree

OP posts:
PersephonePomegranate23 · 23/03/2024 16:32

ChoccieEgg49 · 23/03/2024 16:27

Yes, I agree. I enjoy the odd spa with DH, don't get me wrong. This obsession with self promotion is odd though and a lot of people seem to feel to 'fit in' they also need to be doing these things. I'd love to go back to the 80s and 90s where we just had fun and enjoyed the moment without feeling the need to show our 'audience'. Feels a bit fake.

Show quote history

I agree it feels fake.

I do take photos of fun times, nice things etc. I have a private journal I upload photos to and I enjoy seeing reminders flash up on there and on Google Photos, but I don't feel the need to share them - that's where I think the line becomes blurred between doing things for enjoyment and doing things for show.

Original poster
ChoccieEgg49 · 23/03/2024 16:33

Lemoncokezero · 23/03/2024 16:30

It's really incredibly strange you'd assume everyone is doing this just for social media or for some kind of competiton. As a go to thought it really says more about you than them. Perhaps they are sharing things they enjoy? I'm not a huge social media poster as I tend to forget, especially not in the moment.

I understand people may just be sharing things they enjoy - but I do sometimes wonder if people wouldn't bother doing half the things they do if there wasn't an option to upload it as such. SM has become a tool of self promotion and showboating.

OP posts:
Notmyuser · 23/03/2024 16:35

MrsTerryPratchett · 23/03/2024 16:28

I know people who essentially use FB as a kind of diary. They take lots of photos, upload the fun ones to Facebook and so they can look back at nice days. It's pretty wholesome and there's no harm in it.

If you're introverted and wouldn't enjoy it, don't. Everyone likes different things.

Exactly this!

My social media circle is small though - it’s only got people who I interact with regularly. It’s mainly for me and not them though, I like looking back on memories and find Facebook is a great way of doing this as it isn’t just for photos.

Newnamesameoldlurker · 23/03/2024 16:35

I am the exception that proves your rule- I LOVE a spa day and I'm not on Facebook to publicise it. But I'm also an introvert and usually just go on my own, not with friends

Original poster
ChoccieEgg49 · 23/03/2024 16:36

Newnamesameoldlurker · 23/03/2024 16:35

I am the exception that proves your rule- I LOVE a spa day and I'm not on Facebook to publicise it. But I'm also an introvert and usually just go on my own, not with friends

Sounds like complete bliss 😊

OP posts:
grinandslothit · 23/03/2024 16:37

I don't see anything like this on my feed.

You could just stop looking at it or just remove people who do that from your feed and not have to look at it.

toastofthetown · 23/03/2024 16:39

ChoccieEgg49 · 23/03/2024 16:33

I understand people may just be sharing things they enjoy - but I do sometimes wonder if people wouldn't bother doing half the things they do if there wasn't an option to upload it as such. SM has become a tool of self promotion and showboating.

Show quote history

But why would going to a spa be show boating? I don't get why you think people would be going to the spa to 'look like they have a fun life", rather than the more simple explanation that they enjoy the spa (or whatever it is they're doing). Going to the spa isn't challenging, worthy or difficult in any way, so not sure why it would be worthy of bragging about.

YaWeeFurryBastard · 23/03/2024 16:42

This is such a bizarre attitude. I love spending time with my friends and doing fun and different things.

Taking a few pics might take 5 minutes out of a 6 hour trip and is a nice way to remember it and like another poster said, it’s kind of like a diary I can look back and remember it by and also share with family/friends who I’d assume are pleased I’m having a nice time? I don’t understand why people have people on social media that they are clearly feel resentful of seeing have fun.

I don’t have loads and loads of followers so there’s no showing off about it.

neverbeenskiing · 23/03/2024 16:44

IStandWithACrutch · 23/03/2024 16:28

There’s a proportion of people who wouldn’t be arsed doing most of the things they do if they couldn’t post about it on social media.
I cannot be convinced otherwise.

Someone I know was talking about wanting to go to a particular restaurant for a "date night" with her DP and actually said "the food is rubbish, but it's good for the gram". I expressed surprise that anyone would go to a restaurant purely for a sm photo opportunity knowing the food was shit and she looked at me like I'm the weird one. I don't think the majority of people who post on sm have this mentality but some definitely do.

StamppotAndGravy · 23/03/2024 16:44

My local spa is a strictly phone free zone, even in the restaurant! Everyone can relax, no breathing in required. They can't be going to very good spas if a) they need their phone and b) they're allowed their phone

YaWeeFurryBastard · 23/03/2024 16:50

StamppotAndGravy · 23/03/2024 16:44

My local spa is a strictly phone free zone, even in the restaurant! Everyone can relax, no breathing in required. They can't be going to very good spas if a) they need their phone and b) they're allowed their phone

What nonsense, most of the top spas in the country freely allow phones.

GalileoHumpkins · 23/03/2024 16:52

Or maybe I'm just a miserable perimenopausal old trout!

I think you've hit the nail right on the head.

AllProperTeaIsTheft · 23/03/2024 17:00

I never look at posts by any of my FB friends and acquaintances and think they look showboaty tbh. I'd unfollow anyone whose posts seemed like that, as I'd find it very annoying.

I think some people could post a photo of themselves at a spa with a friend, cocktails in hand, and it would come across as just a natural 'Here's what I'm up to right now' thing, while from others it would feel very staged and showboaty. It depends on their photo, posting style and frequency imo. There are definitely people who do things 'for the 'gram' <cringe>.

FuzzyPuffling · 23/03/2024 17:01

Wasn't me.
I hate spas and I hate cocktails.

Wastedagreatusername · 23/03/2024 17:05

I don’t get the whole spa thing at all. It seems to have become expected that if you are woman you are like ‘oooh a spa day!’

My working life is so office based that in my free time I like to move and be outdoors. Or do something that engages my brain on something that interests me, rather than something I’m paid for.

I don’t want to spend more time being sedentary indoors in my free time. So no, I don’t get the ‘spa’ appeal at all. And I just don’t get why it’s fun, tbh.

EmilyTjP · 23/03/2024 17:06

Or maybe I'm just a miserable perimenopausal old trout!

Yep

YaWeeFurryBastard · 23/03/2024 17:20

Wastedagreatusername · 23/03/2024 17:05

I don’t get the whole spa thing at all. It seems to have become expected that if you are woman you are like ‘oooh a spa day!’

My working life is so office based that in my free time I like to move and be outdoors. Or do something that engages my brain on something that interests me, rather than something I’m paid for.

I don’t want to spend more time being sedentary indoors in my free time. So no, I don’t get the ‘spa’ appeal at all. And I just don’t get why it’s fun, tbh.

The vast majority of spas have a gym attached and various classes so plenty of opportunities to move and swim, many also have outside areas. There’s plenty of opportunity to engage brains by reading books or having conversations with friends etc. Fair enough if you don’t like it but your post smacks of trying to be superior - the OP was to do with social media posting not whether people like spas.