To ask for your interview fuck ups

[Biggybigbiggles]

I have two interviews on Monday, my first in 12 years and I'm shitting it. I have horrible imposter syndrome!

Can you regale me with your funny interview fuck ups so I can cheer myself up should I make a tit of myself?

Don’t be put off because of one fool.
I stopped work for the same reason, and have got back.
Keep trying 😊

I was interviewed by a husband and wife team but I didn’t realise they were a couple (even though it’s well known in the industry).
the wife tells me they got married X year.
I thought it was just a slightly odd anecdote as in they both happened to get married in the same year (but to separate people). I was so floored by how odd a thing this was to say that I stared blankly. Could even manage congratulations.
We moved on and then 5 minutes later the penny dropped and I said “oh to each other!” More odd looks exchanged. Still no congratulations from me. I must have come across very socially awkward. Job involves people skills.
I got the job!
good luck…

I’ve done some awkward things…but none as bad as someone I interviewed last week.

They kept calling me ‘Claire’ when my name is ‘Charlotte’ (not real but example). They did it every time I bloody spoke ‘thank you Claire, thats a really interesting question.’ My name was literally on the bloody computer screen (teams interview).

Not me, but DH. He managed to knock his cup of scalding hot black coffee into the crotch of both the men interviewing him 🤦‍♀️ apparently they both leapt up and there was much cursing and crotch dabbing. DH was mortified but he got the job!

I was desperate for a new job so had applied for loads. They were on council websites where you can save your details so just required a little tweak rather than a full application form. I got an online interview for a job. I did my research prepared, signed on for the interview. It was a totally different job! One I had no recollection of applying for, and wouldn't be able to do due to physical expectations. I can only think I must have applied by mistake. I got through the interview but surprisingly was not offered the job.

DW was doing an online interview and halfway through her desk collapsed- one minute she is talking to the interviewers, next minute there they hear banging and scraping (and swearing!) and DW is looking sideways at the camera trying to untangle the laptop from the chaos. She got the job!

My pencil skirt ripped all the way down the back as I walked in, had to do the interview with my arse out. Also and god knows why they saw on my CV I’m a trained singer and they asked me to sing…and I did! Why oh why in a ripped skirt. It was my first job out of uni so cringe

Another one from me... I went for an interview in a bar... The manager had two CVs, he mixed us up, kept telling me "Oh so you do DJing in your free time" - "No, it's not me" etc, then he took mine out and went "oh this one is yours, but it's missing a page?" (it was only one page as I was at uni and only had one two short-term part time jobs). Dont know why he expected a 5 page CV for a job to pour beers and serve burgers. Didnt call back but I was quite grateful for that in the end.

I once drank the interviewers glass of water.

One time I went for a job and one of the other candidates fell asleep in the waiting room… I specifically did not wake them as I didn’t want the competition…

I got the job.

At what point did he learn the true meaning of well-endowed and connect it with what he had said in the interview?

Reading these has cheered me up today 😄. Mine aren't that funny, had one as a teenager for a dentist receptionist job. Just out of college, in the interview they got mixed up and asked about my job in the college (I had just finished a course in media), I panicked and lied. Can't even remember what I said! Then interviewed at my mums office and had no idea what I was waffling on about, the woman interviewing me had a tight blouse unbuttoned and the buttons that were done up were struggling to stay that way. I'm straight but couldn't stop looking at her chest! Didn't get either job unsurprisingly.

What do you mean being early comes across as 'entitled'? Most people are going to allow plenty of time to get to an interview if they aren't too sure of travelling time. If I was driving - then yes I'd sit in the car and wait; on public transport I would go for a coffee if there was somewhere about - but otherwise I'm not going to hang around in the street . Do you not have a waiting area at your workplace ?

A young lad I interviewed at a graduate recruitment drive:

Me: what did you do to prepare yourself for the interview today?

Him: I had my trousers taken up

Bless him

I interviewed for a job I knew nothing about. They asked why I applied for the job and I said because I needed a job. I didn't get it.

Second interview, Head of HR and one of the company owners. Very much about cultural fit. HR asked “What three trades do you value most in people?” And then “What three can you not stand”. Me - “I can’t stand when people aren’t on time”. HR glances at Director, saying, well, she clearly can’t stand you then”. ….. When answering I had not considered that said Director arrived 20 minutes late for the interview 🙈😂

I did get the job.

I got out of that one by quipping “it’s not the mistakes you make, it’s the way you deal with them” and promptly pulled a large hanky out of my bag and mopped it all up.
I got the job!

Actually this is very true. I was recently on a virtual an interview panel over teams for a clinical fellowship and one of the candidates could not get their presentation to work and ended up having to email it to one of us so we could share our screen. He just kept completely calm and in control of the situation and while he was trying to sort the situation out, continued giving really good answers to his interview questions (we decided to go to the questions part and come back to the presentation).

He most definitely got the job. Good luck!

When I was on the dole at 17-18 (dropped out of media studies lol) I went to an interview for a soup cafe, it was called 'nincom-soup'.
The job was to pour soup into cups and hand it to people and take payment, and cleaning.
The boss told me unfortunately I was 'overqualified'?!
I had never had a job before, and had 7 GCSEs!? Lol.

Years ago, I was interviewing for a primary teaching job. It was with a year one class, I remember.

I was doing a circle time for my lesson demonstration, and obviously, not knowing any of the children's names, I was having to point at the ones with their hands up to get answers.
One little girl sat about 2 children away from me had her hand up to answer, but wasn't looking at me to be chosen. So I reached over, and with a single finger, lightly tapped her on the head to get her attention. She looked up, answered, and we moved on.

Then, in the interview, the head starts criticizing me, saying "we don't use physical discipline here to correct the children!" I was so blindsided by the fact she thought I'd attacked a pupil, and at her clear lack of attention to what had actually happened, that I didn't even bother to correct her. I knew at that point she'd already decided I wouldn't get the job. And I wouldn't have wanted to work there anyway, if that's the assumption they'd leap to after any sort of physical interaction with a child, that I simply did a confused shrug, said, "okay then". And that was that!

It was just... so bizarre.

I drove to an interview 2 hours away from my house. I stopped to get fuel, got back into my car a wee bit too enthusiastically and split my trousers right up the back, nicely exposing my knickers. Very luckily I had a winter coat in the boot that just about covered my arse. Managed to get into the client’s office and the very helpful assistant offered to take my coat…no problem, I just stood with my arse to the wall to take it off. The interview went very well until the point where I was offered a tour of the facilities 😬and I realised I’d have to put my coat back on. Cue some weird maneouvring and shuffling along the wall to get my coat back on. The interviewers were clearly puzzled by my wanting my coat on in the height of summer but didn’t say anything. I got the job and months later told my interviewer about the trousers…she about wet herself laughing 😆

Panel interview....me ssying i was reliable...great memory etc..interview ended...left room ..only to have to go back because i forgot my handbag 🤣🤣🤣..we all had a giggle about it tbh. I got the job

Not an interview anecdote, but my husband was in WHS once and heard a supervisor showing a teenage sales assistant (probably a Saturday job) how to do something. He ended by saying 'And that's the difference between good retail ... and great retail.' Apparently she rolled her eyes. Good for her.

I was being interviewed for a college place and one of the panel started rocking backwards and forwards on his chair and next thing he went flying, head over heels, legs in the air - I burst out laughing and much to his embarrassment I couldn't stop laughing. Didn't get offered a place.

Well yes, you may not have had work experience but with 7 GCSEs you were most likely capable of A levels or other further education and therefore unlikely to remain in a job pouring soup into cups , which is what they needed .

I remember being told similar myself when first looking for work age 18 and it is frustrating .

@ShinyAppleDreamingOfTheSea haha. I guess I should be flattered. I was definitely not capable of A levels, hence dropping out.
I would be offered work in a commercial kitchen or food business now 25 years later, so it makes no sense. Though not waitressing. I'd be shite at that.
Like oh we need someone who'll work here for 20 years on minimum wage.
I really fancied myself as a soup shop supervisor. If only he knew.
Haha.