To ask for your interview fuck ups

[Biggybigbiggles]

I have two interviews on Monday, my first in 12 years and I'm shitting it. I have horrible imposter syndrome!

Can you regale me with your funny interview fuck ups so I can cheer myself up should I make a tit of myself?

I went for a civil service interview for my very first job as a school leaver. My mum accompanied me to London by train and planned to go shopping and meet me after the interview to travel home together. Being a civil service interview it took hours of various tests, assessments and different interviews panels.

During one particularly intense interview my mum suddenly burst into the room pursued by a security guard, demanding to know why they were keeping me so long! I was absolutely mortified! They invited my mum to sit in the interview with me and she proceeded to talk over me and answer every question they asked me. If I managed to get a word in then she'd disagree with what I'd said. She managed to drop in various embarrassing childhood stories. Many years later and I'm still cringing at the memory of it!

I got the job though. They must have felt sorry for me!

🤣🤣🤣🤣

I had an interview once and had prepared well but for some reason, and this is the only time it ever happened to me, I just completely froze in the interview. I only managed a few words for each answer.

I’ve got a positive interview fuck up if that would help. I wanted to get into project management about 6 years ago so went for a project support officer role. Two of my answers to the questions were ‘er, I don’t know’ and I still got the job! 6 years later, I’ve just been offered a promotion to senior project manager so must be doing something right 😜

Not an interview, but I once received a CV from a (male) candidate who described one of his previous roles as "consisting of manly administrative tasks".

I think he meant "mainly" 😂

Just got over a heavy cold and went for the interview.

It was in a very tiny office so I was almost touching knees with the interviewer.

Part way through, my sinuses kindly decided to deposit a large dollop of snot in my throat and I had one of those coughing fits that leave you gasping for breath between coughs.

Interviewer didn't take kindly to being coughed all over so I didn't get the job.

Went for an interview at a major London airport on the car hire desk and whwn they askes if l had any questions, l said do you get many foreigners?? What l meant was do you get your regulars but made myself sound xenophobic and stupid!

I woke up with a horrible eye infection on the day of an interview for a job I really wanted so I still went for it, by the time I’d got the the interview my eye had completely closed and was constantly weeping, during the interview I could barely see but I got the job - I can’t believe wasn’t embarrassed but I was in my 20s and was full of confidence back then. Fast forward 15 years later and a career break I had a panel interview and when asked why I had taken a break from my career, I honestly replied, "To raise my family." The male interviewer seemed to glaze over and instantly lose interest , which made me realise that I would never be hired - I didn’t get the job and I lost all confidence in applying for jobs in case I was asked the same question and got the same result.

Applied for a job. They called me and offered appointment at 12.00. They then emailed and said 11.00

I missed that the email said a different time and turned up at 11.45.

Didn’t get the job.

When I was 18 applied for a job at Oddbins. Interview went really well until they asked what was my favourite wine and I panicked because I never drank wine.

One of my very firsts adult post university interviews, really wanted the job.

Arrive and wait in reception- so far all good. Member of the team who I am interviewing for, comes to reception to collect me and take me over to another building where the interview is being held. As we are walking across the car park. My kitten heel gets stuck in a drain. I make a split second decision that I’m gonna just abandon the shoe and keep walking as though I’m wearing a heel so there I am hobbling along and after maybe 15 seconds. The guy turns to me and says you do know that your shoes back there stuck in that drain, do you want to go back and get it? So I continue hobbling along as though I’m still wearing the shoe (why?) to wrestle it out the drain - utterly mortifying.

Whats worse is I bloody got the job and everyone knew on my first day. Thankfully they weren’t dicks about it.

Good luck!

Went for a job in a school. There was a practical test where I had to type on word a table which I did with difficulty as not done anything like that in previous roles.

Finished it and told the interviewer, who said to print it off which I did.

She looked at the finished product and was well impressed, which so was I as it was the original sheet I’d had to copy and mine was on the printer still 🤣

Didn't say anything but got the job 🥳

Went for an interview once and the interviewer had her screaming toddler on her lap the whole time. Every time I’d try to talk he’d SHRIEK and she’d have to distract him with an iPad.

I was so blindsided I forgot almost every word I was going to say, it was hilariously awkward and the whole thing was a blur.

Needless to say, I didn’t get the job but did end up working there not long after. BIG mistake, as you’d expect.

I'm another one who had to cut short an interview to be sick. I'd got up in the morning feeling sick and put it down to nerves, but halfway through the interview felt like I was going to vomit so had to apologise and ask where the toilet was. I wasn't sick, but was not well enough to carry on so I had to say I really had to go home. I'd gone on the bus, but was not well enough to go home on one so had to get a taxi (which used up the last of my money!) and only just got out of the taxi at home in time to throw up on my feet. Company rearranged the interview for the next week and I got the job.

DP went for a job that he really wanted. He was incredibly nervous and managed to lock the keys in the car at the site where the interview was. He rang me asking if I could come out with my keys and unlock it. I had to call my Dad to drive me out there (we only have one car) and take DS1 who was 2 at the time with me. When we got there we had to drive round 3 car parks to find our car and get the keys out of it (it was a huge site) then we had to drive round looking for reception. We then got told off by a security guard for being somewhere we shouldn't be, but he did tell me the quickest way to get to the reception which was to walk between two buildings. By this point DS1 had been in the car for an hour and a half and needed the loo so I took him with me to the reception to ask if there was a toilet we could use and my Dad said he'd drive round the other side and meet me.

Whilst I was explaining to the nice lady on reception that my DP was having an interview but had locked his keys in the car and could I leave them with her to collect DS1 managed to pull over a stand they had with leaflets on it which went everywhere! I was mortified and quickly trying to pick them up whilst DS1 started crying the he needed the toilet. The incredibly nice lady told me not to worry about the leaflets, showed me where the loos were and by the time we came out she'd had sorted out all the leaflets and gave DS1 a biscuit. She said he was cute! I'm not sure whether all this debacle got back to the interviewing panel, but DP did get the job.

Interview 2 weeks ago. The first in 6 years.
it was for an internal position so I figured casual chat with my manager as you do.
instead the new big boss that had started 2 days prior joined.
he asked what the best thing about working for the company was. I honestly told him the free bus pass 🤦🏽‍♀️ laughed it off and said options for progression.

shock of my life 4 days later- I got the job!

They asked me a question and I wasn’t sure so I took a sip of water whilst I had a think. It went down the wrong way and I couldn’t stop coughing for ages. Even when I thought the liquid had gone and I started talking it came up again and the coughing re-started. This must have lasted more than 5 minutes. In hindsight I should have turned off the camera but I didn’t 😞

I wasn’t offered the job.

Many years ago I walked out of an interview . I had gone to an interview in a black skirt, tights and jacket but what I hadn’t anticipated was a team task after a panel interview. Candidate were shown to a room and put into groups, we were then asked to sit on the floor and given the task of making a boat that floated, we had to work together while interviewers stood in corners of the room grading us, of course there were some people who were loud and overpowering who wanted to take control of the task and I found it difficult because I was wearing a skirt, I remember looking around and thinking what the hell am I doing, I’m applying for an office job not Big Brother! So I got up and walked out, one of the interviewers came running out after me and said it was a shame I was leaving because I was one of their strongest candidates during the panel interview, but I’d made up my mind it wasn’t the company for me…I didn’t want to go through forced team games and tasks every month for a simple office job.

Mine isn't that funny - just beyond stupid!

I attempted to exit afterwards via a storage cupboard - the doors looked similar.

Then at the second interview in the same room, despite really reminding myself not too, I did it again with one of the same interviewers.

Still got the job. I just have no sense of direction.

Back in the 80's I had an afternoon interview in Knightsbridge as a trainee mortgage broker. Travelled up from Nottingham, every piece of clothing borrowed, and a tad nervous so decided to settle myself with a nice lunch and a glass or two of wine. As far as I remember the interview went well, they were very impressed when I told them that not hiring me would be a big mistake (oh, that Dutch courage!). We all stood up, shook hands and I promptly got my feet tangled in my handbag straps and went flying....

Still, I got the job 😁

I got to the final stage of graduate scheme civil service interviews and thought I’d done really well with several very thoughtful responses - then lost it on the final question to which I stupidly gave an answer which could certainly be considered party political. As soon as I left the room I realised I should have just said that it was government policy enacting legislation. What an idiot.

In the 80’s my gorgeous friend had an interview at a solicitor’s office as a typist. She was being interviewed by the senior partner and she idly (and rather enticingly) twirled her beaded necklace in her fingers whilst answering the questions. The string of beads promptly broke and hundreds of beads flew across the desk and floor. She hastened to gather as many as she could whilst trying to remain credible, and scrabbling under the desk she could see beads lodged in the interviewer’s trouser turn-ups. She got the job!

Three times now I've worn completely inappropriate shoes.

First two times I had to drive there and so wore my trainers and thought I had my heels with me. I did not. Both times in super smart suits and the trainers were very very obvious... Got both jobs though!

Third time, at least I was on crutches with a badly sprained ankle. I couldn't wear anything else! Nearly whacked my now boss with the crutches a few times in the pokey room... Got that job as well!

Not my howler but someone else's.
I was interviewing for a post on my team. Most people have wee gestures or things they do when nervous, usually more prounced in an jnterview.
Everyone had to deliver a 10 minute presentation. One guy was obviously v nervous and when he stood up to present, He kept touching his crotch every few seconds. Obviously his comfort gesture. None of us could take in a word he was saying with his penis-press every 10 seconds. I so wanted to reassure him that it hadn't fallen off since he last checked.
A major part of the job would have been presenting to large audiences. He didn't get the job.

I would highly recommend taking a bottle of water with you and don't be worried about getting it out and drinking from it. After I went to one interview and had to do it with a mouth like the Sahara as they didn't offer me a drink, I took one everywhere. I even had an interview at a drinks company and they didn't offer me a drink but had one themselves. So glad I had my own!

Good luck

Well, I think not liking poetry is justified.
There are many other types of literature.
As long as you explained why you didn't like poetry, that would've been acceptable for me, anyway!