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Original poster

To ask for your interview fuck ups

186 replies

Biggybigbiggles · 23/03/2024 14:28

I have two interviews on Monday, my first in 12 years and I'm shitting it. I have horrible imposter syndrome!

Can you regale me with your funny interview fuck ups so I can cheer myself up should I make a tit of myself?

OP posts:
hellsBells246 · 23/03/2024 21:48

Applescruffle · 23/03/2024 14:38

I had to do a presentation for an interview and I borrowed my brothers dongle to store it on. When I got there and plugged it in, a folder with all the other stuff he had stored on there popped up on the projector screen. Including his porn.

😱😱😱😂😂😂🥲🥲🥲

RainRainRainAgain · 23/03/2024 22:05

Late 90's. First job interview in London, I told the agency I was on jury service but they arranged an interview anyway. I made it to the interview (just) but had done no research - coz jury service..... Got the job and never looked back!

BiggerBrighterBetter · 23/03/2024 22:32

I have two horrors that stand out.

The first was for a job I really wanted. The interview was going well and they seemed to like me, but I was sunk by their next question - what impact do you think the Internet will have on the world? (it was early 90s ish). I said I thought it was a nice gimmick but wouldn't really make a great difference 😂

The second wasn't going very well, I was feeling a bit intimidated as the interviewers were very cold and unfriendly. They asked me what my favourite book was and my mind went completely blank. As in, I couldn't think of any books, let alone my favourite. It wouldn't have been so bad if the interview hadn't been for a senior librarian... 😁

Strangely, didn't get either of them 😂

Lelophants · 23/03/2024 22:42

As a very shy and naive 18 year old I kept saying ‘be confident be confident’ inside me head. I forced a massive smile and ended up doing over exaggerated fake horrendous flirting with the guy interviewing me. When he asked me my top three qualities I said ‘bubbly, playful and very friendly’. I think I even winked at him. He said ‘I bet you are’ under his breath. I was mortified and ran away straight after. wtf.

And no I didn’t get it.

Newsenmum · 23/03/2024 22:44

I was involved in interviewing others (along with me team). People who didn’t get the job:

  • A lady who’s top was completely see through. Proper nipples. I was willing to give her a chance but everybody else dismissed her immediately.
  • a guy who completely took over the room and told us when we could sit down!
  • a lady who had prepared absolutely nothing. She looked hungover and I don’t think she really knew where she was.
Lelophants · 23/03/2024 22:46

madroid · 23/03/2024 19:50

I went for a job at a supermarket in my 20s. The three men interviewing me asked if I had children and what would I do with them if they were ill.

I asked them the same question. They looked really embarrassed and then I proceeded to give them 1 10 minute lecture on equality and discrimination in the workplace. They actually offered me the job! I told them I didn't want it (in not very polite terms).

I was interviewing quite recently a young man who basically gave me his life story when I asked him about his strengths and weaknesses. Including his addiction to cocaine and nightly binge drinking. He said the job would be a chance to leave all this behind.

Wowzas!

Trystand · 23/03/2024 22:47

Lelophants · 23/03/2024 22:46

Wowzas!

Show quote history

And then everyone in the supermarket clapped 😂

Lelophants · 23/03/2024 22:48

Rubyandscarlett · 23/03/2024 17:35

Went for an interview at a major London airport on the car hire desk and whwn they askes if l had any questions, l said do you get many foreigners?? What l meant was do you get your regulars but made myself sound xenophobic and stupid!

This made me chuckle a lot

Pudmyboy · 23/03/2024 23:05

TammytheFaceGhost · 23/03/2024 19:42

I read on one of these threads years ago someone tripped over a potato at an interview. Countless posters asked why there was a potato in the room but the question was never answered. I think about it every time I have an interview now!

My worst was probably my most recent one, the interviewer was really down to earth and approachable, I ended up massively oversharing details of my life. I haven't heard back from them weeks later on so I'm going to guess I haven't got that one!

Ah yes the potato tripper! I remember that!
This thread beats it with 'great pride in being well endowed' though!😂

Pudmyboy · 23/03/2024 23:07

(and I hope you get good news about your recent interview, if you don't it means the job was crap!)

Pudmyboy · 23/03/2024 23:20

Happybirthdaytotheground · 23/03/2024 21:37

Someone I interviewed was in an uber that was hit by a lorry on the way to the interview. He still got the job!
whatever you do just don’t arrive ridiculously early. The amount of people that arrive 30 or more minutes early is more than you’d think. It just comes across as entitled. Good luck @Biggybigbiggles

Getting there early means you are entitled??? What if someone came from a different town on public transport so couldn't time it as finely as you would like? Or, as I have done, wanted to get there early to calm down, go to the loo, mentally prepare.....

Bundeena · 23/03/2024 23:28

I've been on a couple of interview panels with memorable candidates. One turned up late and picked a fight with a staff member before he'd even got to the interview room (he didn't get the job). Another knocked a jug of water everywhere during the interview (he did get the job).

BirthdayRainbow · 23/03/2024 23:30

ShinyAppleDreamingOfTheSea · 23/03/2024 17:21

One of the funniest things I've read 🤣

Show quote history

But we need to know what the interviewer said/did!

HoneyButterPopcorn · 23/03/2024 23:39

I had an interview by a rather bored Partner who obviously had no idea who I was, hadn’t read my cv and I wasn’t too sure he knew what the job was.

I gave up by the end (sure I hadn’t got the job) so when he yawned and asked me what the time gap on my CV was (clearly marked in front of him as ‘parental leave’ ) I blurted out ‘I was in jail’.

This had been joke when I was in art school that when you did your first presentation you had to talk a bit yourself, and the tradition was that people always tried to fit in the most outrageous lies to see how long before people realised - mine was ‘I was in jail…’ and for some (perpelxing) reason people seemed to believe me until and it built and built… the shocked faces finally got the joke when I said it was for abusing frogs… long story. I’m either a good liar or look like an ex jailbird. Or maybe honest…

anyway, I got the job and wish I hadnt as it was hellish and the second worst job I ever had.

Starseeking · 24/03/2024 00:34

I once interviewed somewhere just after splitting with my EXDP. It was for quite a senior role, and in a male dominated field (finance).

The interview itself had gone pretty well, and I was confident about getting the job based on my technical capabilities, which I'd prepared for.

One of the two-man panel then asked me to "tell us a bit about yourself and what you do outside work.

I completely froze as didn't have any answers prepared, and didn't want to get into anything regarding my relationship or having DC, so waffled on about visiting my parents who live 10 minutes away. They looked at each other as if I had two heads, and needless to say, I didn't get that job.

Got headhunted for a new role a couple of months later, which I did get, paying 20% over what the one I missed out on was paying #everycloud

Good luck OP, I'm sure you will be fine!

MyDays · 24/03/2024 02:04

Applescruffle · 23/03/2024 14:38

I had to do a presentation for an interview and I borrowed my brothers dongle to store it on. When I got there and plugged it in, a folder with all the other stuff he had stored on there popped up on the projector screen. Including his porn.

This made me howl!!

DreamTheMoors · 24/03/2024 02:25

Years ago, I had an interview with a tv station. The night before we got a takeaway.
And a few hours later I got really sick.
I called the guy at the station and told him I suspected I had food poisoning and that I was very sorry, and could we please reschedule?
He was rude and disrespectful and said no and accused me of “faking it.”
I ended up having to go to the hospital, so a few days after I got better, I got dressed up and took my hospital papers into the station.
They ushered me back to the guy’s office, and I said, “Hi Mr. Smith - I’m DreamTheMoors, the faker. I just wanted to drop these by in person.”
And then I left. I didn’t wait around for him to react - he probably wouldn’t have been very apologetic.
I think that food poisoning saved me from working for a gigantic arsehole.

coxesorangepippin · 24/03/2024 02:39

Had first interview, went great. Second one was scheduled.

Second one started which was with the person who would be my new boss. She only fucking knew my old awful terror of a boss from a couple of previous jobs. 'Oh I see you worked at XYZ place, I know XYX/awful person, they are a good friend of mine'.

😫😫🥴

I basically froze and stopped answering questions and ended the interview really abruptly. It would never have worked.

Spencer0220 · 24/03/2024 03:03

Two really embarrassing interviews,

First, I turned up in my wheelchair and got asked if, despite it being a purely administrative role, I'd mind helping clean if I got the job. I didn't.

Second, company swore they had accessible entrance. They didn't. Luckily I'd done a drive by of the building. Had to phone my dad to come lift me & chair into office.

They then interviewed me, only for me to realise they had decided not to hire anyone at all! My dad had to wait to carry me back out.

I wish they'd been upfront.

BananaLlama123 · 24/03/2024 03:40

Happybirthdaytotheground · 23/03/2024 21:37

Someone I interviewed was in an uber that was hit by a lorry on the way to the interview. He still got the job!
whatever you do just don’t arrive ridiculously early. The amount of people that arrive 30 or more minutes early is more than you’d think. It just comes across as entitled. Good luck @Biggybigbiggles

Where I work is on a bus route that runs every 30min. Unless you trust it to get you there bang on time (I wouldn't!), we would expect people to potentially be quite early. It's an industrial estate so nowhere else to go in the interim.

My worst interviewee was a chap who turned up drunk and told us he likes to take cocaine at the weekend. For a job that requires a high level of security clearance. I ended the interview at that point and had security remove him from our secure facility.

ooooohnoooooo · 24/03/2024 04:22

I have a friend who as a grad put that he liked sailing, on his CV. To make him look interesting 😬

He got the job as his new boss loved sailing 😬

And then spent the next 2 years trying to find ways not to go on various sailing trips his boss organised. My friend didn't know one end of a boat from another 😂😂😂😂😂😂

Minimili · 24/03/2024 04:25

I had an interview for a job I desperately wanted and was really optimistic, I was answering questions confidently and seemed to be getting nods of approval.
When I was leaving and walking away after shaking hands I noticed the interviewers staring at the floor, I looked down in confusion and found a pair of knickers had dropped out of my trouser leg! Luckily they were clean and must have ended up getting tangled in the leg in the washer or drier, it was extra embarrassing though that they were control pants.

I was mortified but picked them up with as much dignity as I could manage but I have a really bad habit of blurting out inappropriate things when I’m put on the spot so I said “Sorry gentlemen you charmed the pants off me”
I don’t know why I said it and I still cringe over 15 years on.

The men two men interviewing me gave a polite chuckle but I didn’t get offered the job.

One of my best friends was unemployed and kept getting sent to interviews by the job centre for really rubbish jobs, the job centre threatened to cut his benefits unless he accepted the next job he was offered and sent him to a sausage factory that accepted everyone.
He went to the interview late and kept yawning then said he was exhausted because he’d been up night building a space ship and was on a come down from class A drugs.
When they asked him his reason for leaving his previous job he said stealing and winked at the woman interviewing him and said her dress was sexy.
It backfired because they knew he’d been forced to attend by the job centre and that he hadn’t stolen from his previous employer so they offered him the job 😂.

I heard Karl Pilkington on a podcast saying that he had filled in an application form with “English - quite good” when asked what languages he speaks - he didn’t get the job!

AllTheChaos · 24/03/2024 04:26

Applescruffle · 23/03/2024 14:38

I had to do a presentation for an interview and I borrowed my brothers dongle to store it on. When I got there and plugged it in, a folder with all the other stuff he had stored on there popped up on the projector screen. Including his porn.

Oooooh no! On the other hand, I’m in too much pain to sleep, and this made me laugh so much! So thank you!

Flatandhappy · 24/03/2024 04:57

Second interview for a job I really wanted, I was told Head Honcho would be in the interview. She breezed in for five minutes and the whole thing was over in fifteen, I assumed she had decided no way so went to the nearest bar where I cried into my wine and had a few more than I should. Got a phone call the next day, I had got the job. When I started I asked Head Honcho about the interview and she said she literally just wanted to meet the person the panel recommended before the formal offer was made. Moral of the story, don’t overthink it!

AllTheChaos · 24/03/2024 05:02

ithinkitsdone · 23/03/2024 18:16

Not my howler but someone else's.
I was interviewing for a post on my team. Most people have wee gestures or things they do when nervous, usually more prounced in an jnterview.
Everyone had to deliver a 10 minute presentation. One guy was obviously v nervous and when he stood up to present, He kept touching his crotch every few seconds. Obviously his comfort gesture. None of us could take in a word he was saying with his penis-press every 10 seconds. I so wanted to reassure him that it hadn't fallen off since he last checked.
A major part of the job would have been presenting to large audiences. He didn't get the job.

Oh this takes me back to some bad memories! I had a colleague once who would do this, but he did it ALL THE TIME. The worst was when he would come and stand next to someone to talk to them, whilst they were sitting at their desk, and do this whilst his crotch was at their face height. It was just awful.
He was technically supposed to give presentations to clients as part of his role, but as that would have been a disaster we were all unofficially required to find ‘reasons’ he couldn’t each time. The few times that we failed and he gave the presentations we ended up with pissed off clients asking what he thought he was doing. No one could figure out why he hadn’t been fired. There was however a magnificent occasion once when he did it in front of a marvellously posh older lady, who just stared at him and boomed, “for God’s sake man, stop fondling yourself!”