Being called Mrs *-*

[LorlieS]

I'm married and a Ms My Last Name - His Last Name (hubby also double-barrelled when we married).
So why do so many people insist on addressing me as a Mrs?! AIBU to be annoyed by this?

When does a Master become a Mr?
When does a Miss become a Mrs?

This is what irritates me.

@willWillSmithsmith In my case, I never became a Mrs. And yes, I'm married.

Yes but when does a Miss become a Mrs compared with when a Master becomes a Mr.

My sons were automatically addressed as Mr in correspondence once they reached eighteen. They aren’t married so why are they not still masters?

I never became a Mrs either @willWillSmithsmith - I'm Miss, and have been for fifty years .

@willWillSmithsmith In the UK, Mrs is the title the majority of married women choose to adopt upon marriage. Up until then the majority of them go by the title of Miss.
Master usually goes to Mr at some point in a young boy's life, regardless of marital status.
Yes, the misogyny is indeed astounding.

Mrs, if you add an apostrophe, becomes Mr's. So literally, if you think back in time, it signified that the wife was the husband's property. It's shocking to think that now, but that's why for a long time wives were addressed as Mrs Husband's first name, then Husband's last name. You literally were your father's property and he gave you to your husband on your wedding day. With a dowry.
If, at 18, women became Ms in the same way as mentioned become Mr, that would level things out. Like in Germany. Adult women are Frau. Married or not.

@LorlieS

Why on earth do you not want to be known as MRS if you're married?

I think 'Ms' is a really silly 'title.' It looks silly and it sounds silly. That's probably why many people won't say it, because they feel daft saying it. I would! In real life, I have yet to meet any woman (married, single, divorced, or widowed,) who wants to be knows as 'Ms.'

YABU!

Have you read the thread? <sigh>

Can you identify a married man by his title? Some of us are uncomfortable about it being expected for women.

Ms is no more silly than Mr. 🤷🏻‍♀️

You must lead a very sheltered life.

No, I don't lead 'a very sheltered life' despite that patronising remark. ... and I have read the thread. I just think Ms sounds daft. And despite meeting 100s of people a week - many of them women - I have never met one who wants to be known as 'Ms.'

Like I have never met a woman who kept her maiden name on marriage - despite 100s of women on mumsnet insisting they did. And I know women from MANY walks of life, and across all the social classes. The 'Ms' phenomenon' and the keep your maiden name' thing is a mumsnet thing.

So - there is not an exact equivalent (for women) of 'Mr.' IDGAF to be honest. I'm entitled to my opinion. Even if it doesn't suit some peoples ears/eyes.

There is an exact equivalent - Ms. It means female.

Yeah, but it's not an exact equivalent, because very few people acknowledge it, as the OP's posts illustrate. And very few people acknowledge it because it's silly. It looks silly and it sounds silly. THAT is why the OP is having issues with people calling her 'Ms.' No-one wants to do that, and probably think she needs to get a grip. She is MARRIED. She is a MRS.

I would not be acknowledging anyone as a Ms. I would sound like a fucking wasp.

!

Yes I do address my doctor by their first name!
You are choosing a difficult hill!! Maybe in many years it will be more common, but now, current convention is married women tend to mainly use Mrs.

It's really not 'a Mumsnet thing' 🤔

The 'Ms' phenomenon' and the keep your maiden name' thing is a mumsnet thing.

I kept the name I was born with before Mumsnet was invented. And I’ve been Ms all my adult life - I’m 70 now. It’s a feminist thing. And I don’t believe you meet hundreds of people a week, let alone discover the form of address they prefer or if they use their husband’s name.

It really IS a mumsnet thing.

@SabreIsMyFave Because I refuse to be addressed based upon my marital status. In the same way that men are not. Why WOULD I want to be a Mrs?!

I really don't care what you believe. Seriously, I can't even put into words how little I care about your opinions of me and my life.

I bet I meet a shit load more people over the course of any given week than you meet in a 6 month period.

.

I was spurred on by the assertion above that Mrs = Mr's (ie belonging to a man). Here's what I found which I think is very interesting. https://www.cam.ac.uk/research/news/mistress-miss-mrs-or-ms-untangling-the-shifting-history-of-titles In particular, I was quite interested to see that Ms, rather than being what I assumed was a fairly modern mix of Mrs and Miss, has a much older history.

Personally, I am a Mrs and heaven help anyone who assumes from that that I am my husband's property. However, as time goes on, I do wish that I had kept my maiden name rather than taking his surname and I am now thinking seriously about changing it back while staying married. Now I have to work out whether I should be Mrs Maidenname or Miss Maidenname. I do quite like the historical precedence of being Mrs Maidenname.

X

Oh, get in the bin.

How can Mr look fine but Ms look “silly”?!

Have you time travelled here from the 1850s or did you just miss women’s liberation completely?

Haha. Exactly what I wanted to say to her 😂

It's like women's lib never happened...

@BIossomtoes Sorry - edited now
I totally agree with you and stand with you.
Sadly there are some unfortunate people on here that INSIST that I MUST be a Mrs because I am married. How ignorant. Even the envelope to our Marriage Certificate says Mr and Ms -!

I had a 45 min lecture from my then HR Director about how legally I must be a Mrs Hisname, surely. She genuinely had to sit down when I told her that no, I wasn’t and please stop banging on about it.

She said it was a shame for my husband that I wasn’t proud to be married to him like she was hers. I said it was a shame that her husband wasn’t proud of being married to her (and that it was a fucking weird thing to be proud of. I’ve signed all manner of legal contracts and not had to change my identity to do it.). That shut her up.

She was very much as I imagine Sabrels to be. Complete with permanent cat’s bum mouth.

I saw that before and after you edited and thought I was going mad!