To dislike men who seek out foreign brides

[Hartley99]

There are quite a few documentaries about this on YouTube. The guy is usually ugly or boring or nerdy (usually all three). He claims to be ‘looking for love,’ when in reality, of course, he’s looking for a sexual partner. So he goes online and searches for girls in poor countries - often Thailand or Russia. In almost every case the girl is younger and/or much more attractive than him.

Recently, there was a documentary on channel 4, and I ended up having an argument with someone at work about it. They thought the whole thing was ‘sweet’ and funny and couldn’t see anything wrong. To them it made sense. The guy got to have sex with a girl out of his league, and the girl got to move to a richer country with more opportunities. To me it just seemed revolting. However you spin it, they are taking advantage of her poverty. They know that she wouldn’t look twice at them in any other circumstance. Apparently, after the invasion of Ukraine there was a massive spike in men looking for Ukrainian brides online. I mean that says it all. Or am I being uptight and judgemental?

👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻.

A work colleague (late 50s) married a woman from the Philippines (in her early 40s), and it's far from any fairytale. Met online. He's cleaned out his bank/savings accounts and cashed in his private pension, had to pay her family a dowry, pay for the wedding out there and buy livestock for his father in law. Took 2 years to get a Visa and citizenship. She works but sends 50% of her wages back home to her parents who now live in far better ways than they did before, but it's left them hugely struggling now 2 kids are on the scene here. Holidays back there once a year cost an arm and a leg for flights, and he knows that if they split, he'll lose the kids as she'll go home. He's as far from a happy man as it gets! He had to remortgage the house for another 10 years having almost paid it off.

Why frame the debate on the lack of interest from women in the UK for instance. The men in the documentaries look like average UK men. Maybe they're looking for an alternative to the the Uk women and their approach to relationships.
Certainly statics show that divorce rates amongst these marriage are lower than the Uk average.
It is known for some reason maybe historically UK men are held in high regard in other countries. Uk women unfortunately are not.

@ThisOldThang you're defending bullies yourself. The reason these men look for "love" abroad aka young and hot is because they consider other women beneath them. They don't want to date or marry middle aged, overweight or unattractive women. So who exactly are you defending? Can you really not see the hypocrisy?

Transactional relationships are as old as time. It’s a straightforward trade. While attractiveness is undoubtedly a factor I suspect attitude is just as important. Women from cultures untouched by feminism will show levels of respect and tolerance no Western woman would entertain. That’s very appealing to a certain kind of man.

They don't look like the average UK man who is married to an attractive UK woman in her 20s though, do they? Because those women tend to be partnered with young attractive men. So there clearly is a lack of interest in them from their target demographic.
Divorce rates do tend to be lower when women are vulnerable because the same things that drive them to partner with these men in the first place serve to keep them there.
As for the apparant high regard UK men are held in abroad, I couldn't disagree more. Unfortunately in many other countries their reputation is appalling.

I've repeatedly said I'm not taking about the creepy old men that go seeking young brides/maids/sex toys.

I'm referring to men that haven't, for whatever reason, found a partner in the UK and decide to try their luck further afield.

This is where I think some people on this thread just don't understand the dynamic. Some men that you consider to be undateable are actually highly desirable in the Far East. Men that have been dismissed their entire lives for being ugly/boring/geeks can be considered '7+' men and maybe even higher when you factor in income/assets/prospects.

Is it so strange for a Thai woman that's a '9' (by our standards) to end up with a western guy that she considers to be an '8'?

There also isn't the same freedom for women to remain single into their forties in these countries, so there will be a natural trend for a western man to end up with a younger woman - e.g. 40 year old guy with a 30 year old woman. There simply aren't as many older women that remain unmarred.

...choose to marry a fat, bald 60-year-old man...

Well on that theme, there are plenty of threads on here where fat women are told they "look fabulous, hun!" and "of course you can be fat and still very attractive to men!".

Perhaps these awful men are fed, and absorb, the same bullshit, too?

Honedtly you are describing the exaxt scenario we are talking about, from the perspective of the men we are talking about. You just have realised it yet.

@ThisOldThang the only men I consider undateable are mysoginists (and other isms) and abusers.

The vast majority of men that do this ( I do accept there's exceptions to the rule and the odd one might fall outside of this) are two categories:

1. Average men that do not want average women, they want young and hot. They think they deserve young and hot. They're likely to dismiss, humiliate, reject and laugh at the average woman.

1. Controlling,mysoginistic, abusive men that not only do they want young and hot but malleable, 50's /surrendered housewife there to serve their every wish and whim.

This is who you are defending, this is on behalf of whom you are offended. Bullies themselves. The double standards are fucking staggering.

Bloke buys himself young and hot because he thinks he's better than "that" but that's just looking for love. Women point out the discrepancy and they're bullies. Give me a fucking break.

I'm talking about the reality of it.

You're looking at it through a prism of western dating standards.

Have you considered that the women themselves might also be realistic about their marriage prospects in their home countries? If they've only received a basic education, come from a poorer family and are from a lower social class, they might only be a ’3’ or '4' on the local marriage market.

Your 'disgusting' man that's 'unrealistic' about his prospects, could be 'unattainable' in another country.

That doesn't mean that it is exploitation or abusive.

Really nice guys don't struggle to attract partners in the UK.

Many will. Shyness, lack of opportunity to meet women, women (especially young women) wanting exciting bad boy partners rather than safe nice guys.

The end of that sentence is the type of attitude that I DO find undateable.

Any more incel quotes?

Young women might but women do grow out of that. Women don't always want the exciting bad boy.

The problem is older men wanting younger women rather than date their own age

Yep. Another one is “treat ‘em mean, keep ‘em keen”.

That's your assumption. I'm not western. I actually understand more about this than you do from various points of view.

What if instead of sex they wanted a liver or a kidney? Would that be ok?

What if instead of abroad they trawled homeless encampments for a wife?

How low can we go ?

Have you actually met a real life woman?

I think there’s a tendency to find exciting drama more attractive than the safe and mundane among both sexes. Look at how many women on here will try to portray themselves as the perfect partner (called the pick-me dance on here). It never works.

It’s not universal, obviously, and people who have been hurt by bad boy/girl types might seek out safer partners, but I think there is some truth in the trope.

Your assumption is that the men just want sex. There's easier and cheaper access to sex in Thailand than marriage, visa sponsorship, additional plane tickets home, etc. Amsterdam is also a lot closer and cheaper, if that's all the man wants.

Now we're comparing things to buying organs or abusing women in exchange for aid. 🙄

Well, I assume my wife is one, but maybe someone 3D printed her.

Anyway, I don’t see why what I said was so controversial. There are plenty of threads on here from women who seem nice, with lots to offer, but can’t find a partner. So why would that not be true for men?

Oh sorry, I should've said love. Funny how they're only capable of loving young, attractive women. Must be a coincidence.

Quite a few women i know used to date the 'cool guys' in their twenties (DJs, dealers, etc).

Then the music stopped and they were left single in their thirties.

There were definitely still some nice guys available, some of whom were quite rich, but they just weren't interested - too short, too dull, etc.

It's definitely a thing, no matter how much you might deny it.

And why exactly do you think a woman should date a dull man? Just because he's "available"?

Why do you think a man should limit himself to the same when he can go to Thailand and meet somebody 'better'?

Now ,now don't be a bully.