Have name changed for this.
So, L and I, friends since school, now in our 40s. I’d do anything for her and she knows it.
We used to live near each other (London) and see each other all the time. Then she met a man and they now have two children. When she was pregnant with their first, they moved up North to be near her mum.
I still see her, she comes to London a couple of times a year for work, and I visit her and her DH & DCs whenever I’m invited.
Anyway, they’re now getting married and I got an invite to a party they’re planning afterwards. I said I’d love to go. Then I get a message saying it turns out that none of her other London friends can make it so it’s just local friends so I won’t know anyone so can we do something separate instead?
I’m so hurt. How do I respond to her? This is my best friend. I’d literally do anything for her! And she’s just uninvited me from her wedding party. AIBU to be upset?
AIBU?
Have been uninvited
FriendDilemma24 · 21/03/2024 16:55
Am I being unreasonable?
2150 votes. Final results.
POLLbritneyisfree · 21/03/2024 16:58
She is your best friend, you aren't hers.
Just say no worries and lick your wounds privately. No need to bother making the effort if she doesn't want you there.
Focus your energy on making new friends who care for you the way you do them.
MatildaTheCat · 21/03/2024 17:04
It must sting but does she have a point? Hosting a party where someone/ people don’t know anyone is quite awkward. It’s awkward to attend too- I went to a party where I knew nobody other than DH recently and we stayed a couple of hours for politeness sake and scarpered.
Be gracious and have a fabulous boozy lunch together or whatever floats your boat. You might enjoy it more.
tiredandabitfat · 21/03/2024 17:17
Are you invited to the actual wedding? Or just the party afterwards?
tiredandabitfat · 21/03/2024 17:17
Are you invited to the actual wedding? Or just the party afterwards?
FriendDilemma24 · 21/03/2024 17:18
Just the party. But the wedding is very small so wouldn’t expect to be invited to that.
tiredandabitfat · 21/03/2024 17:17
Are you invited to the actual wedding? Or just the party afterwards?
MamaWillYouBuyMeAWillYouBuyMeABanana · 21/03/2024 17:17
Did she literally say don't come, or is she giving you the option?
That wording could be interpreted either way really.
I would probably call so there's no miscommunication.
Either way I would arrange something, just because life has got in the way and you're maybe no longer best friends, it doesn't mean you should totally cut off a friendship.
batsandeggs · 21/03/2024 17:22
If the friendship is as important as you say then I would be honest about how you’re feeling and take it from there. Distancing yourself without giving her real insight to your feelings and a chance to respond could ruin a friendship that could very well be sorted out with good communication.
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batsandeggs · 21/03/2024 17:22
If the friendship is as important as you say then I would be honest about how you’re feeling and take it from there. Distancing yourself without giving her real insight to your feelings and a chance to respond could ruin a friendship that could very well be sorted out with good communication.
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