To say it's not really my problem that my friend chose to have two children

[Fruitystones]

DD10 is an only child. I'm close friends with the parents of her two oldest friends. They have multiple children. I would say my household income is the highest out of the three of us, although we're not rich at all. One of the two friends will always make comments about how it's unfair DD gets "so much". It will come up in passing or she'll see me post a picture and she will message.This has been going on for years, since I was a single mum on benefits (she was as well), and I've finally hit a point where I'm a bit sick of it,

Previous complaints have included -

DD had a bigger bedroom than her girls (she doesn't in our current home)

We take DD for a weekend away on her birthday and she can't do that with her girls

When they were little it was that it was that DD had a party at a "better" soft play to her DD.

DD has her own Nintendo switch when her kids have to share one

It's not fair that I get "time off parenting" in the holidays because DD goes to her grandparents for a few days.

It's not fair I got to move to the southwest and she'll be stuck in the north forever

There have been loads more, but these are the ones that spring to mind.

AIBU to gently point out that it's not my problem that she chose to have two children and has to split her resources accordingly next time she does this?

Also, in case it's relevant - DH and I don't have more children for multiple reasons. We found out he is infertile a couple of years ago. DD is from a previous relationship, I had her in my late teens. Prior to finding out, DH and I decided we didn't want to explore having more children until we had bought a house and settled. We should hopefully buy in 12-18 months when we're in our early 30s, and then we'll explore fertility treatment if it's still something we want.

Completely get where your coming from Op especially in regards to her otherwise being a good friend. I had a friend who was truly, really good and I had a lot of trust in her and we had a very sister like friendship which was lovely and easy most of the time but for example when she came to mine one day I had wrapped everyone's Christmas presents in my family for them, meaning I had absolutely loads temporarily under my tree. Reason being was my cousins daughter was doing a wrapping service before Christmas to raise money for a children's hospice as a school project. I had helped her out with it and before friend new be context she came in, saw the gift pile and her face fell. She started to rant about how many gifts I'd bought and how obscene it was. I corrected her but was thinking wtf for the rest of the day and the reaction. We are still okay but eventually the friendship got less and less close as we were so different and she made those differences into real barriers. If you don't want this to happen to you and your friend you must tell her. Say it upsets you that she can't be happy for you and your choice to do things. Let me guess, she doesn't have any really wealthy friends? I don't know how she would cope with a friend who has a windfall or a stroke of luck financially but you can't live your life hiding your positives and playing things down so not to upset her. What would she do if things improved dramatically for you financially and you suddenly had a lot of disposable income, like a life changing amount? I ask as this happened to me and my aforementioned friend and she lost all interest in being my mate after that.

I think that's my next step.

I don't really dwell on the difficulties I face with DDs disabilities and OHs infertility when I have conversations, but I'm going to really milk it and one up her complaints.

If she complains about something DD has I'm going to sob and point out she's lucky that she can live life knowing that BOTH her DD are healthy, whereas mine has a heart defect and will need another life threatening surgery down the line. And not only that, We can't have more children, so it's not like I can even give DD the sibling she wants. And so forth.

I don't want to do it and I've never done it before. Because I try to take the stance that "it is what it is, and what will be will be", because that helps me get through anything rough.

But I really really need her to stop comparing based on this imaginary notion that she's worse off because I can't physically split resources if I only have one child, and I don't want to give her less just because other people have to split resources.

This sounds like an underhanded dig to OP. Just because OPS friend has

This thread is two years old. What on earth was the point of your comment?