Where can I buy DP a massive fucking gold medal for being the only one in the house "not on long term medication"?

[Garfeel]

There are three of us in our house - the dog, me and DP.

The dog practically rattles with all the medicines she's on.
I'm on a repeat prescription for pain killers for my periods.
DP isn't on any medication for anything.

Three times recently he's commented that he's the only one in the house "not on long term medication" with a kind of underlying smugness and superiority that I can't quite put my finger on.

He said it for the third time last night and it disproportionately pissed me off. I was in the middle of brushing my teeth, he was in another room and by the time I could've replied, the moment had passed and he was wanging on about something else. So I just let it go.

But it's ridiculously still niggling at me today.

AIBU to think this comment is a really fucking weirdly superior, smug thing to say?

For context - though DP isn't on long term medication, he's not exactly the picture of fucking health. He's been carrying a paunch for a decade, he suffers with eczema, he's got a dodgy eye, and a pair of piles have just appeared at the brim of his bumhole.

That is a fairly typical male attitude. And it's one of the reasons that cancers etc. in men get diagnosed later than in women.

Maybe point that out to him?

I had a couple of family members like this - as if their good health was an achievement and showed how clever they were. I once asked them why they said it and they tried to backtrack by saying they were just grateful they had been lucky. Didn't stop them doing it again though. One even refused to count statins for high cholesterol as a long-term medication - even though they were on it long term - because they weren't actually ill.

One of them realised what she was like a bit when she got older and I heard her telling the other one not to boast, because a couple of years previously she would have said the same. She still used to "boast" about not having to take anything (apart from the statin) until she was xx years old though.

The other one never changed and died suddenly at home - at a great age - 89 - but insisted even during his last few years when he was obviously struggling, that he was fine and had no health issues. I think had he taken himself to the GP he might have lived even longer.

Yes, a crown. Perhaps I'm BU asking for medal recommendations, I should be looking for gold crowns instead.

Yes, I also don't really consider my pain killers to be long-term medication. I take them for about 2-3 days per month 🤔

I’d have to make a comment about how lucky he is that his periods are trouble free…

Essentially congratulating himself for being male is very twattish

Well, quite.

The other ridiculous thing is that DP's actually keen to get one of them private full-body health MOT things done, and to potentially start getting them done quite regularly.

Make it make sense.

I would keep a rubber ring in my bag and when out and about with him, as he sits down, bring it out with a flourish and loudly announce 'you'll need this for your knackered arse'. That'll shut him up. 😈

Look surprised and say "but I've been lacing your porridge with uppers for the last 20 years"

Ugh, that would annoy me too.

'Bully for you, mate. Now fuck off.'

I have a friend who bangs on constantly how they haven't taken a single day off sick for the past 10 years knowing full well I've been on sick leave a number of times over the past 10 years because I have an autoimmune condition.

I may start banging on about how in my 40's I've never had a single filling as she has had many!!

So you have painful periods that are in no way your fault, you involuntarily suffer every month (same for me, it's an absolute nightmare) and your DP is just smug about not being on "long term medication"?

Tell him that since your condition is down to your unnecessarily dramatic and attention-seeking uterus deciding it cannot rid itself of your menstrual blood without excessively painful cramps, you will happily knee him in the bollocks every day you're on your period and suffering debilitating pain so he can experience what you are experiencing, and decide for himself whether your "long term medication" is indeed necessary. Twat.

Sorted it for you op! Get him told 😂

Omg, say this. Just for the satisfaction of his probably bewildered reaction. Period pain is absolute hell.

Indeed.

I've always had painful periods, and always managed it with paracetamol, ibuprofen co-codamol until last year when they just didn't cut it any more.

So in one way I've always been on "long term medication" for periods. Just not on prescription. It seems like getting prescribed pain killers rather the off-the-shelf or over-the-counter has magically transformed the pain killers into something fundamentally different which is worthy of comment.

I am in the same boat...can I ask what you got prescribed, and is it working? I tried mefenamic (?) acid and it was worse, if anything...but my uterus is now pretty much ignoring the paracetamol and ibuprofen and I am getting desperate!

He sounds more painful than your periods.

He's very subtly putting you down here. You and the dog are defective. Meanwhile he deserves private health screening so he can get an official congratulation for what he sees as his pristine state, when in reality he's a flabby middle aged wanker with a gammy eye and an itchy arsehole.
The one that needs a medal is you.

Ugh.

😂

I've been on asthma medication pretty much my entire life, and my DH has never once considered it something to make a dig at me about, to try to put me down.

Definitely ask him next time exactly what point he thinks he's making.

Excellent description of DP - you must know him!

I'm on tranexamic acid. Its for heavy periods which mine aren't but its working well. The doctor said that's the first port of call, we can look at other things if the tranexamic acide doesn't work.

I hope you find something that works - its horrible isn't it?

Thanks! And yes, dire.

Has he had his blood pressure checked recently? Plenty of overweight middle aged men are walking around with undiagnosed hypertension, which eventually gets picked up on a routine health check. Hey presto-medication for life.

Of course not.

He's not technically over-weight so all must be well. 🙄

' Yes dear, thanks for avoiding treating your ailments so we don't need to find room to store your medications too' .

It's weird what people find to be competitive about but perhaps this smugness is more reassuring himself he's ok, given he seems avoidant to deal such common issues. I assumed you'd have multiple meds a day not a few days per month which probably similar to average person use of OTC painkillers so not even worth commenting on.

You'll probably find when his private scan doesn't find him a picture of health, that he'll be banging on about his new health regime and be expecting huge sympathy when he has a condition & any medications.

@Garfeel pretty sure they sell them in the same shop as the medals for men claiming to babysit their own kids and tory politicians admitting saying a black woman should be shot is racist but the person saying it isn't racist because they once went to jamaica.

think they have an online store medalsfortwats.com

They do. My DD picked one up last time we were there a couple of months ago and then was sad it was too small. She is 18 mind you.