Segregation at playtimes

[PlaytimeBlues]

My DD, 9, is in year five. The class teacher has told us the kids are often falling out at playtimes with bickering and name-calling that has led to disruption in class.

They’ve decided to deal with this by dividing the children into groups at playtimes - most of the class is in a general group that can go where they like and interact with anyone as they please, and then two groups that have to wear bibs (yellow and green). The greens have to stay in one area, the yellows in a different area, and they are not allowed to move out of these designated areas. The general population are allowed to interact with the groups in bibs, if they choose to.

When this was introduced my DD was really upset, saying that she felt she was marked out as a ‘naughty kid’ by having to wear a bib, and unhappy that she couldn’t be with the friends she normally plays with. Friends in the free-range group can play with her, but only if they choose to go to the area she’s in. The teacher has insisted DD is not a ‘naughty kid’ and that this way of doing things is to encourage children to make different friendships - it’s not a punishment, but a way of defusing the arguments.

AIBU to feel uncomfortable with this? Or is this a perfectly normal way of dealing with behavioural issues? I feel like the bib-wearing and confinement to certain areas is stigmatising and it’s been going on for nearly a month now. I’m not one to complain to teachers lightly and feel I need some perspective on this.

So how would you deal with the disruption in class?

You say this is to help solve that problem...

I have no idea! Being in charge of a class full of children is not a career I would choose in a million years, and I have great respect for teachers. This is why I'm questioning my feelings and wondering if this a standard and helpful way of dealing with the situation.

This isn't OK! One group having greater freedom and not having to wear bibs- of course the ones who are restricted and have to wear bibs will feel shit. Either they should all wear different coloured bibs and be equally restricted, or none. I would complain to the governors. Do you know any of the other class parents?

How is her naughtiness manifesting? I'd have loved if some of the kids who picked on mine at break could be segregated from him. But I don't love the obviousness of it. What's been going on at break time that she can't play with the kids that she normally would- I'd have thought that's the first question?

It’s not something I have seen done.

Seems to be a ‘fire-fighting’ method to just keep them apart. It would be far better (but also more complicated and time-consuming) to teach the children the social and problem-solving skills to be able to accept their differences and learn to co-exist peacefully (which perhaps would include giving each other space, without the need for bibs). At year 5 this would definitely be my preferred option.

This is going to sound incredibly harsh but if you’re able to help your child stop bickering and name calling then there won’t be an issue.

I don’t agree with their method but I do like that they’re putting a stop to unkind behaviour.

Our school would only segregate the actual groups causing the problems. Usually it would be a group of friends being nasty to other kids, so they would be split up. I don't really agree with the bibs but I can see that it must be hard to expect the TAs to manage the playground when there is this many involved.

TBH, if a child can be promoted to the free range group by improving their social skills a bit and the school can help them do that, then it could be a blessing.

Instead of going in angry about segregation, you could ask how you can support your DD at home to help her socially and move her into the free range group.

Surely if its a punishment for certain kids for those behaviours then they need to be clear that its a punishment though? Otherwise they're just gaslighting the kids and parents and the punishment won't be effective

Are the groups static, or is the bib wearing rotated? This would be different.

this is really quite horrible. yanbu.

And the governors would simply bat you back via the school's complaints procedure.

I wouldn't be keen on that. Although I can understand some groups are better broken up, even if the individuals in them aren't doing anything wrong as such - I am guessing your daughter is part of such a group.

Will teacher change around the groups?

If this will continue in the current groups for the year and the teacher says your dd isn’t naughty then I agree this stigmatises the kids.

I would complain to the HT if the groups aren’t changing.

As far as I know one child has moved out of the other group with bibs and another swapped in. I would feel better if they were being swapped about, especially when the teacher is insisting DD is not 'naughty'.

Of course we talk to her about appropriate behaviour and would be happy to do things at home if the teacher was suggesting anything to help. It's interesting that PP have mentioned gaslighting of parents and firefighting, these are things that have crossed my mind.

DD can get silly sometimes, but generally she has a 'nice' core group of friends that she does dance with outside of school too, and they are not generally known as troublemakers.

We were told (almost a month ago!) that this was temporary, not for the whole year.

Yes it's horrible. Yes it's not great.
Neither is children who by the age of 9 are considered to be so disruptive that such steps need to be taken.
Explore the reasons why your daughter's behaviour has placed her in the bib group rather than moaning about the consequences for it.

The teacher has never said to us that DD is causing problems, yet she has been stuck in a bib for the last few weeks. She hasn't been complaining too much recently as her free-range friends have been coming over to play with her.

That’s awful- I would complain to the head.

Are any of her friends also "bibbed"?

Its almost encouraging bullying. One group gets to lotd it over the others, and to choose to exclude them. Why not separate the whole lit into groups?

In what way does your DD “get silly,” as I think that may be the crux of things.

Long term, I think it’s a terrible idea. As a short term solution to hoping to diffuse a situation and give a reset on bickering, I can understand the appeal.

I didn't know whether to mention this in my OP but the school is in an area classed as 'deprived' with higher than average rates of poverty and SEN children, and social problems that go along with this. So there are some troubled kids there, but DD has never been one that teachers have had concerns about.

Of course we talk to her about appropriate behaviour and would be happy to do things at home if the teacher was suggesting anything to help.

Why are you waiting for a teacher to suggest ways at home to help her behaviour? Parent your child yourself instead of expecting a teacher to?

High spirits, she can get pulled into 'showing off' in front of a group. She's never been in trouble for fighting or swearing at teachers for example, as some are on a regular basis.

We're not waiting to be told how to parent fgs, I'm just trying to illustrate that if the teacher had a problem with something specific, we would listen to the teacher and help to address it. We're not getting that kind of feedback though.

The teacher has told OP that her child isn't naughty, so what do you expect OP to do?

I agree with @PuttingDownRoots , this is almost encouraged bullying.