To think this is rude of DH

[Iknowwhatitinvolves]

There are numerous issues at the moment and the relationship probably isn’t salvageable in any meaningful sense but am I overreacting to this?

Been on the go all day with two children (3 and 9 months) woken numerous times then woken for the day at half six. DH comes in from work at half seven, the three year old is awake but in bed so goes to say good night to him - lovely. Then gets his laptop out and just sits working all evening. No check in or even ‘sorry, I really have to get this done’ or similar, I wouldn’t have minded that, it just feels like I don’t exist

Only ridiculous thing here is your original comment, it was quite obvious what you were implying so I'm not sure why you continue to deny it.

The depths people go to on here to find a meaning that doesn’t exist to suit their narrative is really quite something!

She asked a very normal question no digs in it just that some have to fine offence it.
I was gonna ask the same thing until i read the thread.

I am crazy busy at work, my DH is at home doing all the family stuff and is bored and exchausted.

we check in with each other all day and all evening, take 10secs. We do nice things for each other when we can.

this is a normal relationship- in contrast your DH sounds like he has totally checked out. What do you want to do ?

give him a deadline
give him some guidelines
looks at spliting up ?
are there any signs of someone else being in the picture?

then again having small kids is SO HARD ! Maybe this is a just a rough patch. But think about what you want as that works whatever is going on.

Calm down she asked a very normal question christ.
Im starting to think one of the above posters are right drama queen.
Making a mountain out a mole hill.

@Iknowwhatitinvolves sometimes it's better to post on the relationship board especially when you are feeling vulnerable. A woman stuck on maternity leave with two children is certainly more suspectible to being hurt from awful people determined to give a good kicking.

I don't need to calm down thanks, say what you like but Is he fully funding you staying at home? is not a very normal question and it was quite obvious what was being implied.

🍿🍿this is getting good popcorn anyone.

Your taking one sentence from one poster that was normal to ask and blowing it up.
Just leave it.

In your opinion. In my opinion, it was not a normal question.

Why don't you just leave it?

You are overreacting over one comment.
LTB sorted.

it is so so easy to become almost tunnel vision on it and just cannot see past getting it done. As I say I’ve definitely done it before during busy deadline times, come home from work and gone straight up to my home office to finish off xyz without even looking at my husband, and he has on occasion done the same if dealing with a particularly difficult client that requires something done ASAP for example. Sometimes you do just get so overwhelmed by work & stress that you can’t see past it!

I have never treat my DH in such a way, nor him me, and I've done some pretty stressful jobs in my time and had to work some ridiculous long hours......

"Busy" or "stressed" doesn't excuse poor behaviour, I'm pretty shocked that some people think this is actually ok?

OK, fair enough - I get that and I’m on your side here! What I meant really is that this wouldn’t probably wouldn’t cause a bad atmosphere or be uncomfortable if your relationship was otherwise happy. If you were in a good place with him you’d probably just say say “Eeesh, have you still got work to do? That’s rotten for you” and he would say “Sorry, love, yes - don’t want to ignore you but I’ve just got to get this done,” or something and it would be fine. But instead you’ve obviously at a point where you’re walking on eggshells around him and don’t feel you can say anything in case he snaps at you etc. As you said at the start of your post, it’s not just this one thing, it’s everything else too

Oh well.
I must have missed the OP being "blanked" by her "DH".
That said, I'd probably do the same. 😉

You are easily excited it seems.

Ignoring all the petty, bickering posts on here. In answer to your OP @Iknowwhatitinvolves , no you are not overreacting. If my DP came home from work and ignored me even one time it wouldn't go down well! In my opinion, if you love someone, you look forward to seeing them at the end of the day. Even if you're stressed or have more work to do, you still have a quick kiss / cuddle and a "have you had a good day?" type check in. Absolutely NOBODY is too busy to do that. It does sound to me like he has checked out sadly. The lack of communication shows more that he doesn't care rather than him being super busy with work.

Its died down now its boring lol.

I know what the poster meant.

The two points are

1. It was worded provocatively. Someone sincere in trying to help would not phrase it in the way it was (funding you to stay at home.)
2. That aside, most women do not make unilateral decisions to become SAHMs without prior discussions. It does not give someone a green light for disrespectful behaviour.

As an aside someone crying about ‘nasty’ posters when they’ve been rather nasty themselves is a tad ironic.

Do you and the other poster honestly think that a thread where a marriage may be ending is the time and place to make cheap jibes and talk about ‘popcorn.’

Even if you don’t give a shit about me you do know there are two little children too?

And you talk about fucking popcorn?

No dear.
I didn't mention any popcorn.

No, but you’ve been having a good old giggle about ‘I’d do the same’ (in other words, I am such an objectionable person that no wonder DH blanks me. Haven’t you, ‘dear’?

'fully funding you'? It's not a fucking scholarship, it's (meant to be) a partnership. One which is not all about 'funding'.

Anyway well done you two, or three, I’ve lost count of goady fuckers. Helpful thread turned to shit. Thanks. Thanks a lot.

Worst scholarship ever!

Then don't impregnate your wife twice in quick succession then.

I couldn't let it drag out. I'd be asking the question about the future OP. Does he want to seperate because you need to know what that looks like.