To ask you to tell me why you’re glad you only had one dc / you wish you only had one dc?!

[Beslap]

I can’t have another dc. I’m sad about it. Dc is currently 20 months. I need to accept this is it now for me. Struggling a bit.

I don't want an only and I didn't get an only but I didn't get my "ideal" family either. Sorry your plans haven't worked out either.

You just adjust with time, I think. You can't talk yourself round quickly.

There is always a trade off in terms of money, time, energy etc when you add another child to a family. So my best suggestion is to focus on the positives and maximise those. (More money, less juggling etc).

Paid for private school. Couldn’t have done that with two.

I had a textbook pregnancy, with no issues, despite being an older first-time mum. However, I had a difficult birth and at one point both our lives were at risk.
I decided it wasn't worth the chance of repeating that experience.

I've a well-rounded happy child and I'm content with that.

I have four. I love them and wouldn't change them, but you'll have more freedom and more peace and quiet, and that has its benefits too.

I had one child by choice but I really researched/thought about pros and cons for a couple of years after she was born. I wanted to do the right thing. I decided one was right for us. She is now 13 and I adore her. I feel lucky to only have one and I wouldn’t change it for the world. It is a very special relationship and without a lot of the pressures having more than one can bring. I respect those that have more but I am genuinely shocked more people don’t opt for one and done. There is no one perfect scenario, but if you have a one and only, I promise it can be incredibly fulfilling and special. I should also say my daughter is so happy to not have siblings.

I can give her all of my attention and energy. We are really close. I can commit to her very time consuming and expensive hobbies. It's always been easy to get my mum or sister to mind her if needed as she's only 1 child. Even now she's a teenager we do loads together. Holidays are cheaper. I have the time to be fun mum who drives her and her mates to the water park or theme park or whatever.

Thank you all so much, genuinely feel a bit better already

Similar to above I had a horrible pregnancy and she was unwell when she was little needing surgeries etc and I just was not about to do that again

This is really nice to hear. We have one, sadly it doesn’t look like we can have another. I love them to pieces, but I remember holidays with my sibling and we’d go off and have fun together (despite a 4yr age gap). I want that for my child. And now my sibling is one of my best friends although we don’t live close.

I know if we could have another they may hate each other, but I think I’m grieving for them missing out on what I had (even though it would never be the same!!).

Oh and selfishly letting them go off and play on holiday whilst my husband and I sit on the terrace with a glass of wine!!

Mine bicker constantly at the moment and it is exhausting and I get very little one to one time with either of them. My partner and I have never had a night away as asking family to manage two of them is too much.

Only child are always happier wish I was one

I'm an only and my DD will also be an only. For me personally I couldn't imagine ever having to share my parents with someone else. I had an amazing childhood and never felt pushed out or singled out like some of my friends us to moan about who had siblings. I of course will never find out, but also I don't think I could love another child as much as I do my DD so feel I would always have a 'favourite' so I wouldn't want to have more than one as I don't feel it would be fair on them.

Only children can always invite a friend on outings/holidays etc.. if they have siblings it's too expensive or there isn't room in the car. You can choose your friends, but you can't choose your siblings!!

Id always imagined having 2-3 children but the chances of me falling pregnant naturally again were tiny (premature ovarian insufficiency), fertility treatments were waaay beyond us financially and tbh it wasn't something I wanted to persue anyway. My nature is very much 'what's meant for you wont pass you by' and I could have so easily ended up with no children, pregnancy wasn't planned, I conceived while on birth control, if things had gone according to my 'plan' it would have been too late so I supposed I choose to see it as a blessing I had a child rather than focus on what I didn't have? That's not to say it was easy to accept at the start but as times gone on its been a lot eadier, things have been v tough financially and I just couldn't have managed childcare or even the v basic treats or activities we do if I'd more than 1. DD did ask about siblings when she was little but now as a teen regularly declares she is lucky not to have siblings 'wrecking my head'! Her group of besties all have younger sibling and the tales of fights, stolen treats, wrecked bedrooms etc has made her v glad for having her own space

It's smashing having one. I never have to think of another one so he gets all the attention he needs.

He's social, confident, articulate and can come along to nice places. He gets invited places and he always makes friends on holiday.

I'm a great mum of one. I think I'd be an alright mum of more than one but not great.

I'm able to focus on our relationship as there's less logistics at home. And I never have to break up bickering and fighting - which looks bloody awful.

I think as long as you apply a bit of sense to only child parenting (don't make them your world or indoctrinate them to never leave you, madly spoil them, make sure they have friends and close relationships) it's a very pleasant and civilised way to enjoy parenthood!

I had an only at 36 so felt too old to have another and DH wasn't enthusiastic. DS was a joy as a toddler, a teenager and now as an adult. I loved being a Mum of one, however I do know he sometimes felt a bit lonely when he was younger.
He has two close cousins but they are 10+ years older than him so at different levels but that's improved now they are adults.
He now works with his best friend from nursery days so they are closer than some siblings.
DH is no contact with his siblings so no one there either.
DS has a beautiful 2 year old and would love more children but DIL is not keen so I think he's quite sad about that.
Edited to add...with the benefit of hindsight, I wouldn't change a thing.

This!! I wanted two, circumstance meant I only had one and while I did absolutely grieve for the might-have-been I’m genuinely delighted with the known quantity of my one fantastic child, each year gets better and better and I love spending time with him.

I have a sibling. We have a very neutral relationship. We rarely speak, we didn’t get on as children. When our parents are gone I doubt we will keep in touch. Additional children don’t guarantee a great family - I’d advise that you focus on the happiness you do have than the happiness that might or might not have been.

I have three and of course I love them all, but sometimes I just feel so guilty that I can’t meet all of their needs. It just feels sometimes like there’s not enough of me to go around. I miss the relationship I used to have with my eldest when it was just the two of us 😥😓. Also money. I think about the security I could have given just one- school, inheritance, holidays…

Having said that, I’m so sorry you are in a situation you wouldn’t have chosen OP. Thats hard. Sending love ❤️

My DD loves the fact that she is the only person in the world who can call me mum :)
she’s 17 now and we have such a wonderful relationship. She doesn’t have to share me or my energy, patience or time.

I have one. Assumed I'd have more but didn't want to in the end - which I appreciate is a different situation to you though.

Like some of the other posters, I love having one. Our lives are so flexible as we only have our little family to consider on a day to day basis. My DS is my favourite person to hang out with now he's getting a bit older (he's 4.5) and parenting has suddenly become this brilliant thing. Having one has also allowed us to live in a lovely house in the perfect area for us, pay for extracurriculars and go on nice holidays with DS. All of that would be a struggle with two. I should also add that my career has gone from strength to strength since I came back from maternity leave and I would have no appetite for taking more time out at this stage of my life.

Aww bless you. When they're little that's when you will feel broodiest for another. We both really wanted more than one child but due to a health condition I have we were never again in a position where I would have been able to be pregnant.
We don't need to worry about sibling squabbles, we will probably send her to a private secondary school (couldn't afford more than 1 set of fees) tbh it's exhausting enough having one and as she grows and gets more independent I know each phase is over and DH and I get back some more of our independence!

Are 5 year old daughter gets all of us in every aspect we don't have to share her and she doesn't have to share us. My husband and I agreed from the start that we were only ever going to have one child 5 years and don't regret it in the least.

I have one. She's nearly 4. We are not having any more, for the sad reason that I am too devastated by the state of the world (ecologically, politically, everything) to bring another child into it. I grieved that decision every day for a few years and thought I could never be happy with my family. But now... I actually sort of am. My daughter is wonderful, and we get to do a lot of fun things that would be too logistically or financially challenging with more (lovely trip out to the capital to see a ballet and eat out). We do have to make an extra effort for her to have other kids to play with at weekends, which has resulted in some really nice relationships with other parents of onlies (some family, some friends) that would definitely not have happened or not be as close if we had other kids. I love to be able to concentrate so much of my attention on her. I also love that I have hobbies and an adult social life that I can maintain while still being really present for her.
The other day I went for dinner with a friend who is an only child, and she was describing the very close relationship she still has with her mum. I am the middle of 3 kids and although I love my mum very much, am definitely not as close as that, and I would love for me and my daughter to have that closeness when she grows up.
Also, every time we spend time with families of 2 or more kids, the siblings spend maybe 10 minutes at most being sweet to each other, and the rest of the time bickering and sniping 😅. My house is an oasis of peace and good humour in comparison!
OP I'm sorry that your family isn't what you imagined. I hope you can find peace with it and joy in all the good things that your child is bringing and will bring.

I've got one. I wanted two but after DD was born I struggled with PND didn't want to go through that again. It was a tough decision though. DD wanted a sibling and she would have made a wonderful big sister. I had to weigh that up against how it would affect her if I lost another year (or more) to poor mental health and diminished ability to parent one child, let alone two. DH wasn't keen either. He felt pretty complete with just DD and in the end I came to agree.
She's 13 now. Happy, healthy, has everything she needs including a great group of friends and lots of cousins who we make sure she sees regularly.
I still have my moments of wishing she could have been a big sister, but all things considered I think we did the right thing.