To ask you to tell me why you’re glad you only had one dc / you wish you only had one dc?!

[Beslap]

I can’t have another dc. I’m sad about it. Dc is currently 20 months. I need to accept this is it now for me. Struggling a bit.

I have one and always "expected" to have more but I had bad PNA/PND and my husband did too. He's now 7.

I was sad for a bit, worried that he'd be lonely... but the idea of having another kid now... whew no.

So many positives.

1. Holidays/Vacations - We're going to Australia this year, my friend has 4 kids and although her family earns WAY more than mine, it's just not feasable for them.
2. Hobbies - He wanted to do soccer so I signed him up and he's doing that now. Same friend with 4 kids has to balance all the kids activities, the idea stresses me out!
3. School - if we wanted to go private, we could, if he needs a tutor, we can do that
4. Daycare expenses - I'm not broke every week!
5. Food - my word do boys eat a lot, and the cost of groceries right now is crazy
6. Christmas/Birthday/Easter/others - One child to worry about/focus on. My friends with more kids are always "I have X many for this kid, I need X for this still, gotta keep it fair". I don't have to keep anything fair.
7. Setting him up for the future - We have things set up for him. I'm not sure we'd be able to do that for more than 1 kid, especially in the beginning when our income was so low
8. Attention - he has our attention. If we go to an event (like a park or something) one of us can play with him, the other "guards the stuff". My husband can do the vomit inducting roller coasters and I'm not listening to mum mum mum while we wait for the older kids... We took a (slightly older) friend and it SUCKED! He's a great kid but he wanted to do X, or Y, and it wasn't fair to only do what our son wanted so we tried to change it up... Husband would go with son, I would go with friend and vice-versa. I felt guilty splitting our attention.

That all said, parents with multiples "get used to" all those things so if we had another (not possible, husband is snipped) we'd make it work, but now that I know what it CAN be, I can imagine our son would be resentful (whether intentionally or not).

I'm OAD but only because I had so many pregnancy & birth complications, as well as having a GA for the birth. Horrific experience.So despite my now exHs protests (he wanted more) I said No Flipping Way!

Also, childcare is less. Holidays cost less. Supermarkets sell packets of two or four of something so, we freeze one & buy the two pack next time. Your attention is all on one small person. As long as that one small person is accounted for, it's ok. (I don't know how parents of large families keep tabs on their kids. It must be a constant worry).

She's got a gang of mates, who I call her sisters, and by association, all their siblings too. She doesn't see her cousins much because we live a long way away.

I was a very happy only child

I had lots of friends and always luckily had a best friend who was a neighbour

I suggest living in a cul de sac or somewhere child friendly

I have 2 DC but they are very different and do not hang out as teenagers and I doubt they ever will

Make me feel ok with having been an only child

My DC did do a lot of stuff together up until secondary school but they were planned activities with me and their friends but once they were independent then nothing

One and done with an almost 2.5 year old. I was previously massively on the fence about kids and it was only once I realised that one and done was an option, and you don't have to have two kids just because it's the done thing, that I jumped off the fence.

I am friends with a couple about 15 years older than I am. They have an only, who is now at uni, but when he was younger, they just seemed to have a much nicer and less stressful lifestyle than parents I know with multiples. Both parents had good careers and time for hobbies and they were (and still are) really close to their only.

Your feelings are valid. I have one by choice. I had easy pregnancy, birth, etc. but I found the first year brutal and dehumanizing. I decided that’s enough for me otherwise I’ll risk becoming ‘ just a ‘mom’(it works for some but not me) and no longer a person with their own interest, hobbies me time etc.
I also started paying more attention when we visited fiends with 2 kids and realised I couldn’t stand the noise and chaos 2 kids create; I’d get a headache after 30-40 mins observing them. So I decided time for myself, my sanity and peace and quiet beat the social norm of having 2 (or more).

I am an only child and my DS is an only child.
The bond I have with both my parents is amazing. They were poor. I grew up in the 70s and life was tough but I never realised as I was surrounded by their attention and love. Lots of my friends would come to my mum for help and advice as they (like me) could talk to her about anything. My dad is still referred to as a 'legend' by those who know him.
The relationship I have with my son is amazing. I am a single parent and together we have done so much - he is an independent, feisty and intelligent man. The bond we have is great - but he is independent as am I interestingly his gf rang me tonight for advice and it reminded me of when friends came to see my mum.
You have an opportunity to make an incredible bond with your DC OP. Surround them with loves and lots of friends - you won't miss out.