Exhausted, broke UK parents of small kids

[RiverLake]

NC for this. Well, please tell me you don't all spend each Saturday or Sunday (or both) watching your kids (aged 5 and above) play sports/activities etc?

And then when they are pre-teens and teens, you are facilitating sleep-overs by chauffeuring them to/from cinemas/parties/friends, including night time pick-ups, etc

Well, if the above is CORRECT, NO WONDER the UK parents are beyond exhausted!!! And in most cases also broke!

What happened to staying home at weekends baking, reading and playing games as a family with occasional walk to the parks?
I lived in London next to a family with 10 and 12 yo kids, and could never FATHOM why 1) they never liked being in their flat, as every Saturday and Sunday around 12 noon, they are loading their car and didn't return until 6 or 7 or 8pm. They walked past my windows.

Only to read on MN that parents seem to attend after school clubs at weekends too- I did all my after school activities, well, after school. Not take up my/family weekend unless it is one of those events schools playing against another school.

This particular family always looked stressed and my flatmate said they were constantly shouting and screaming at each other almost daily about domestic stuff (had cleaner and child minder too). I am not surprised as they had full time jobs and seem out all weekend. When do parents REST?

So, it is 18 years of existing for a child. Other countries do not parent like this. These countries have happy, relaxed families.

I sort of understood childcare stuff for under 3 or under 4 and not sleeping properly and those costs; but this being out all weekend is unsustainable. No wonder UK adults are sick and cannot function properly in work!

Eh? What have benefits got to do with it? Most kids are at school on week days.
The government has nothing to do with the activities I choose to take my children to at weekends.

(We also don’t get any benefits by the way).

Broke- I meant more about work being affected. Many people in London need to work 10/12 hours a day which clearly most parents with these weekend activities would struggle to do as they would need part of the weekend to recharge.

I don't understand your point @RiverLake

The parents ferrying their kids to sports and museums and parties all weekend are not the same parents deciding that they would be better off on benefits.

I do all of the above and I value it. I couldn't afford it all on benefits, hence I have a career. I wouldn't want to spend every weekend making cakes (although we do a lot of baking) and sitting at home

What sort of jobs have 10-12 hour working days as standard, even in London? I don’t live in London any more but when I did, I worked a standard 9-5.

I also would not want to work 10-12 hour days!!!! That is what makes you exhausted, not rugby every Sunday!

And why do you assume that everyone likes to ‘recharge’ by sitting at home? I don’t. I ‘recharge’ by spending time out and about with my children/family.
Honestly you’ve got some really odd ideas.

Not one family. That was an example. I saw lot's of threads here about ex husband moving and must take darling kid to this and that at weekend etc etc.

Also Wills was apparently coming from watching kids play sport at the Weekend.

I just want to know when parents rest. Also, I now see the logic of one of them being at home full time, with these busy weekends factored in so that one is working and the other driving the house ship incl activities with the working parent just tagging along. as I said: what a way to live in the UK.

Ah, so this is just a veiled bashing of SAHPs/people on benefits? Gotcha.

You're making less sense the further you go with this

Not at all. I am trying to understand the constant conflict amongst parents and trying to understand the UK and why parents are exhausted.

I have mentioned Wills as well, unless you want to make a point he too is on benefits.

OP what are you on? You sound like you just want an excuse to get worked up about something and you've chosen to slag off parents in the UK.

I work with plenty of parents. They are fine. I live in a development of flats. Some families are out all weekend. We have nice cheerful chats when we bump into each going in and out. They are fine.

You seem very het up.

Exhausted has to be one of the most hyperbolic
over-used phrases on MN. Only beaten by ‘on my knees’. You were ‘exhausted’ WATCHING a family?

This isn’t new. I’m 46 and my weekends in childhood were spent playing sport and going to parties and so on. My father was in his 50s when we were born - MN also full of ppl who couldn’t consider having a child after 35 because they’re ‘exhausted’ already - and ferried us all over the place inclduing being a scorer or a coach for various sports. On top of a demanding job in the emergency services.

Some people prefer busier lives and some
people more relaxed ones. Healthy people with a good diet, a normal weight, and reasonable physical fitness are not typically exhausted by a busy life if they choose.

Because everything that is Uk parenting is confusing. I just want to know when parents rest.

Basically the reason Brits are all poor/on benefits is because we’re too tired to work hard enough to earn a decent living, because we take our kids to activities at the weekends. I think that’s the jist of it.

This is helpful. Thanks.

So, it is modern life exhausting parents on MN.

Well I can’t talk for all ‘U.K. parents’ as we’re not one homogenous mass, but I rest in the evenings after work/hobbies (always sit and eat with my family, then chill in the evening) and at weekends. Taking my children out and about at the weekends is ‘restful’ for me, because I enjoy it and it’s how I choose to spend my leisure time.

I loved taking DS to sports matches/practice every weekend. Rugby, sometimes Sat &Sun during the winter and cricket during the summer. DS is now old enough to drive himself but he plays in the Cotswold cricket league during the summer so, if the weather is good ( they don’t play cricket in the rain) we go to watch. There are plenty of cricket clubs in beautiful settings in the Cotswolds. Just the drive to them is worth the it.
When he was small I was roped in as scorer so now have a good understanding of the rules and play, what better way to enjoy a summers afternoon than a picnic and a game of cricket. It beats sitting inside trying to entertain bored child.

So many children, nowadays, spend most of their free time behind screens. I love that my DS, from an early age, was a look at the view type of person. He enjoyed wild swimming from an early age, team sports and individual sports, walking and so much more. Even if money had been short we would have made every effort to go outdoors at the weekend. Most Sundays we would go for a good dog walk even before DS was involved with sort.

While your child does sport you can have a coffee, read the paper or a book and relax while someone else entertains your child.

Lol what? Wills?

I imagine some people probably play sports at the weekend, some don’t…much like anywhere else.

This is beautiful. Thank you.

I am actually very sporty and so are my kids. I just didn't spend my weekends 'timed' to be at a certain place to watch them play.

My day job requires me to be at A B C at a certain time, all week. Hence I need weekends to be a bit flexible and to be decided depending on how we all felt.

Well what do you know? We’re all different.

Your posts are all over the place. Exhausting.

Parents working 10-12hr days.
Kids doing sports all weekend every weekend.
Benefits references.
Wills (presumably Prince of Wales?)
London living
Stereotyping UK parents.

Exhausting.

I sleep at night - 11.30 to 7 most nights, give or take.

In addition I relax (restful) in the evenings after the kids are in bed, and weekends. Sleeping til 8 30 counts as a lie in these days.

I had a lot less rest when I had babies as mine never slept.

Use me as your normal example for when parents rest.

The only people who can afford to do afterschool activities after school are those that can afford a nanny or a SAHP, or have a grandparent helping out. Or are poor enough that they live on benefits (but not sure how much afterschool activities they can afford). My children need to attend wrap around care and therefore do their clubs at the weekend. But at least we are not broke…

You have all been helpful with your contributions. Thank you.

@FeelingPoor what time do you start work (if you are not a SAHP)? And what's behind your username?

In London,I used to get home at 9pm/10pm and 11pm was not unusual. just ready for bed-so, no time to chill with the kids, feed/bath them and put them to bed. morning, out of the door 6:00am/ 7am or just before 8am.