Neighbour spying on me

[Lattecarmel]

My neighbour is always spying on me through their living room window when I come home and leave my house. When I’m parking up it seems as soon as I pull up they’ve stood up and are then at the window looking out. I’m starting to feel uncomfortable about this. It’s not that they’re watching their car as I park or anything like that but they just watch me park up. In the morning when I leave the house I happen to move my head and can see them staring out at me (terrace house, both with front path)) I think they are quite nosy in general but it’s starting to annoy me. What would you do?

I'd wave and smile at them every single time.

Perhaps after a few days, I'd knock on their front door, feign concern and say "Are you alright Joan, I saw you at the window and wondered if you needed me for something..?"

Put her on the spot. Do it.

You can only see them if you're looking in.

6-8 year old children at the primary school I work at sometimes complain that another pupil is ‘spying on’ them. It usually means someone is observing them or looking in their direction. I advise them to smile or ignore it if they can’t smile, which helps them to understand this type of social interaction better. My advice to you is the same. Saying ‘Hi’ and acknowledging them might also be good - they are your neighbours after all.

That idea you would knock a neighbours door with feign concern for them is really really shitty thing to do . It would really show up someone as a bad person .

I think there life is lonely and boring, smile wave. Also you should invite them over for a cup of tea or mini bbq if weather is nice just to break the ice you will be surprised.

Wave because it's the friendly thing to do.

Why would you knock on the door? That’s not your right, nor is it very nice. It’s not against the law to look out of your window! The OP hasn’t given any details of the neighbours. They may be elderly or lonely. Jeez, why be so aggressive or set out to cause trouble. It’s the sort of stuff I’d expect from kids in the playground. My mum died last year. She was the kindest person ever but used to stand for ages watching the world from her kitchen window. Grow up and try to acquire some resilience FGS.

Why do you look at their window every time you arrive and leave? Sounds like you are too interested in them/ have too much time on your hands.

Well, in this instance, why not?
She's been spied on?
Why not go and knock, and ask if something is wrong? Feign concern if you have to.

This neighbour doesn't seem to warrant genuine concern!

It's not me that has to grow resilience, because it's not my neighbour and not my problem.

I'm just offering a solution.

It may not be right for everyone, but it would have been right for me.

Others may vary. Not everyone is YOU.

Wave

Flash your boobs. Everytime. They will eventually get the message ;)

Before I had my bedroom remodelled, I used to put my makeup on in front of a mirror on my windowsill. It amused me greatly that my neighbour opposite clearly thought I was spying on her, as she used to wave at me as I did my morning routine.
Of course I ignored her for months, until the perfect opportunity arose to show that I had only just noticed her!
She was doing her daily waving sarcastically routine when I received a phone call, turned from the window and put my (reading) glasses on to check something on my tablet.
When I finished the call I returned to the window with glasses on, did a double-take, smiled, waved back, then took my glasses off and continued to do my makeup.
She never made the assumption again!

😂

I agree totally. Let people live their lives in their own homes.
It also seems to me that on the off chance that this IS someone overly invested in the neighbours' lives, that would just open the door for them to come round to bother you like that! You'd have set a precedent.

I think it most likely the person is just gazing at the outdoors/admiring the garden/getting up for a stretch and that it happens whether the OP is there or not. Or if it's really linked to noise from the car, they may be wondering if it's a delivery van arriving for them.

The real question is - why are you always looking at their window? 😂

My neighbour does it too. She’s always pretending to clean the window. I used to wave and that just peed her off and now she has become a horrid person to live next to. We ignore each other but she just watches constantly. I was chatting to another neighbour and she asked them after if we were talking about her. We weren’t but we did after. I came to realise it says more about her than it does me so I try my hardest to let it go. My husband has a nickname for her. Something about seeing her the following Tuesday, but otherwise we live our own lives and ignore.

PS I get on with her husband okay and so when she’s out, our children often play in each others’ gardens but she mustn’t know about it - I presume he keeps it from her. It’s all on the kids, they shout over the fence to each other and we just leave them to it. I do her daughter lunch at times. I don’t think m she knows. 😂

I had an elderly neighbour who used to wave whenever I came in or out, her kitchen overlooked our back gate. Eventually she passed away and I missed her waves. When my DP died too, the lack of greeting from anyone made me soooo lonely.

Smile and wave, you never know when you might be missing those waves.

Wave!

I would stop looking through their window. They are looking out into the public space, which may be a general interest in what is going on and attracted by comings and goings of vehicles but you are looking into their house, their personal domain and invading their privacy.