DH leaving a 1 year old on softplay along

[Katemiddletonsphotoshopper]

sorry title is supposed to say “leaving a 1 year old in softplay alone” - potato fingers.

DH took the 3 children to soft play on his own so I could have a break, as I haven’t been well. Great - very nice of him.

Today I find out from my 5 year old that, after trying to send him (5 year old) by himself to the loos down quite a long hallway (the softplay is in a gym so full of unknown adults), he then tried to take 5 year old on his own, and leave the 3 and 1 year old totally unsupervised in the softplay.

5 year old is adamant DH left the 1 year old the whole time. DH is saying he saw the error of what he was doing and went back for the 1 year old and the 3 year old as they tried to follow him.

I don’t really know what to say/do. Just feels like both the attempt to send a 5 year old to the loos alone and then the attempt (or actuality) of leaving a bloody 1 year old alone in a softplay are both fucking insane and I can’t believe he thinks that’s acceptable. Am I overreacting? I appreciate he tried to do something nice but surely it’s obvious you have to always take all 3 with you at those ages? And now I feel I can’t trust his judgement at all. I also feel like 5 year old is probably telling the truth and therefore I am pretty angry that DH is trying to make out he is lying to make himself look better.

We all make rash mistakes.

He says he corrected himself and no harm was done.

He made a mistake and corrected it, unless he has form for this kind of behaviour take it at face value as the mistake it was and move past it.

Although I must admit if you were my partner I'd be very cross that you believed a 5 year old over me.

Meh, I can see myself making stupid decisions like that (I can actually remember making one years ago) when first confronted with toilet logistics alone with several children.
He caught on to himself. No harm done.

I think you are overreacting. I don't think it's crazy for a 5 year old to go to the loo in a soft play by themselves if you have two other little ones, but in actual fact he says he didn't do this.

I think it's not great that you believe your 5 year old over your husband.

They all come back unharmed we don’t always make the best decisions

I'd cut him some slack... sometimes it's hard to know how to deal with the logistics of so many small children

He sounds like he was probably hit with an urgent logistical problem and it took him a minute to sort it out. If he doesn't have them on his own alot the momentary lapse is acceptable, its that sort of juggling that becomes second nature and develops naturally as you spend more time with them. Sounds like he should get some more practise in.

Wow that takes me back to when mine were that age. Everything had to be orchestrated and timed.
It took practise to get it slick.....
Your husband just needs some practise. No harm was done.

Did your DH actually lie? Or did he say he was going to do it and then changed his mind? Your post seems to suggest he is accusing the 5yr of lying?

Personally I don't think it's an overreaction

He decided to leave two very young children unsupervised

He chose to do that.

He realised a problem and tried to sort it. We've all been there.

5 year old is adamant DH left the 1 year old the whole time
The whole time they were at the toilet? So he went back for the 3yo but left the younger child alone? That would seem a strange thing to do.

And you've never made a mistake ever with your kids? Never once??

I could not be with any man stupid enough to leave a 1 and 3 year old alone at a public place. You're not overreacting at all. Even your 5 year old knew this was an outrageous thing to do.

This is negligence, not a "mistake."

It's almost as if 5 year olds aren't always the most reliable of witnesses 🤷‍♀️

He needs to parent his three children more often.

He'd learn how to juggle things like this more easily.

1 year old...how many months? My opinion changes depending if your 1 year old is 13 months or almost 2.

Tbh though I think it's fine to leave the 3 year old in soft play and completely fine to send a 5 year old to the loo alone. Whether it was ok to leave the 1 year old depends on how old the 1 year old is. If almost 2 I think they are fine left in a soft play while he nips to the loo with the older child. I wouldn't be rounding up all my children to take one to the loo in a soft play centre assuming it's one with a locked gate etc.

He didn't know how to handle the situation, fucked up, then realised and pulled it back. No harm done, clearly you've torn him a strip off so I'd really say case closed at this point.

Oh it’s so tricky, as I’d be very concerned but equally, if my partner admitted fault, I wouldn’t hold it against him going forward. I think he probably learnt a lesson that all the children need to stick together, it’s a pain but necessary. I personally wouldn’t let my 5 year old go to the toilet unsupervised, it may sound far fetched but we are never sure who is in a public toilet. I wouldn’t take the risk.

'All the time' is not a clear concept to a 5 year old. It doesn't mean either of them are lying.

as to leaving any of them, people are going to judge based on the soft play they use.

Apparently the 3 year old followed them
into the loos and DH was cross that the 3 year old had left the 1 year old alone.

DH has form for lying when he’s done something he knows was stupid, and DS doesn’t lie. Before everyone jumps on me that all children lie - I know and if it were the 3 year old I would think it could be a lie but DS is obsessive about the truth and right and wrong so feels very unlikely.

Also again this isn’t just children’s stand alone softplay it’s a large adults gym complex with a softplay inside it. The loos etc are very much adults loos full of strangers etc. the long hallway has rooms which go to gyms and fitness classes/cafes etc.

Have we? Leaving a 1 and 3 year old unsupervised in a public place? I definitely haven’t and know my partner and friends haven’t either. It’s a very basic thing to supervise young children.

I would never ever ever leave my 1 and 3 year old alone, no. And I would never send my 5 year old to the loo alone either!