DH leaving a 1 year old on softplay along

[Katemiddletonsphotoshopper]

sorry title is supposed to say “leaving a 1 year old in softplay alone” - potato fingers.

DH took the 3 children to soft play on his own so I could have a break, as I haven’t been well. Great - very nice of him.

Today I find out from my 5 year old that, after trying to send him (5 year old) by himself to the loos down quite a long hallway (the softplay is in a gym so full of unknown adults), he then tried to take 5 year old on his own, and leave the 3 and 1 year old totally unsupervised in the softplay.

5 year old is adamant DH left the 1 year old the whole time. DH is saying he saw the error of what he was doing and went back for the 1 year old and the 3 year old as they tried to follow him.

I don’t really know what to say/do. Just feels like both the attempt to send a 5 year old to the loos alone and then the attempt (or actuality) of leaving a bloody 1 year old alone in a softplay are both fucking insane and I can’t believe he thinks that’s acceptable. Am I overreacting? I appreciate he tried to do something nice but surely it’s obvious you have to always take all 3 with you at those ages? And now I feel I can’t trust his judgement at all. I also feel like 5 year old is probably telling the truth and therefore I am pretty angry that DH is trying to make out he is lying to make himself look better.

Personally I think it's mad he was there alone with a 1,3 and 5yo, to me that's a number of kids and ages requiring 2 adults there.

Sorry I don't buy that we've all done this. I certainly have never ever left a child of that age unsupervised in a public place. Ever. I'd be furious too, OP.

Our local soft play is quite safe. Kids are essentially locked in so I wouldn’t be too bothered about five year old going to the loo themselves and that’s actually what I’d have let happen rather than rounding them all up!

Inwouodnt leave the little ones by themselves.

“Apparently the 3 year old followed them
into the loos and DH was cross that the 3 year old had left the 1 year old alone.”

Wow. Just wow. What kind of a parent does this? Any of it?

*Apparently the 3 year old followed them
into the loos and DH was cross that the 3 year old had left the 1 year old alone. *

It gets worse

He didnt leave them on the hard shoulder of the M1!!!

@Soontobe60 there are different forms of negligence, one doesn't have to abandon one's children on a motorway to be negligent

Yes, let's excuse deplorable judgement by making absurd comparisons. 🙄

🙄🙄🙄

I'd say leaving the kids alone in the softplay was inadvisable rather than fucking insane, but I suppose it depends on the layout.

Making a stupid decision and correcting it is fine, we all make mistakes. Making a stupid mistake, not correcting it and then lying about it is unacceptable.

Is it possible the five year old is mistaken rather than lying though? I'd say that was a strong possibility based on the five year olds I know.

I manage to take my 3 out to all sorts of places all the time and it’s never been an issue, safety wise. They are extremely well behaved and good at listening. The softplay itself is the perfect size etc for these ranges. But as I’ve said it’s situated within a health club/gym complex for adults and the loos etc are outside the softplay and in this adult area so it was not like letting DS go into a room inside the softplay bit.

my Suspicion is that when I discuss with him later when the children are asleep it will come out that DS is right and DH was trying to arse cover. I appreciate the range of opinions though, thank you.

DS seems very sure about the fact pattern, and was extremely upset when DH was saying something else happened. DH was changing his story a fair bit about what happened and initially tried to deny anything of the sort having taken place. As I said, it is the sort of thing he will do - deny something until it’s proven otherwise.

This. This type of outing would be a hard no for me. In fact if I had kids those ages I would need another adult with me to do anything. Yes he made a bad decision but carting all 3 to the loo sounds like hell too.

I work in a leisure centre with a soft play. Under 8s must be supervised at all times. I regularly have to go and help crying children who have lost their parents in soft play. In 9 out of 10!cases the parent is there but on their phone and not paying attention to their children.

Don't be ridiculous! Loads of people look after three small children at the same time, it's hard work but a perfectly normal thing to do.

You are not overreacting, this was completely irresponsible of your DH. All well and good people saying ‘no harm done’ but there very much could have been. None of your children should be left unsupervised at their ages.

Fucking Christ it gets so much worse.

this is what happened, from DH:

DS5 needed the loo. He left the softplay with him to point DS in the right direction. other 2 wander out in the hallway. DS then comes out of the loos saying he needs help with the cubicle etc. DH LEAVES THE CHILDREN IN THE HALLWAY (between the soft play and the loos is the fucking exit I am not making this up) to sort out DS. 3 year old wanders into loos during this time and 1 year old is just in the hallway.

DH thinks I’m massively overreacting. Me “what if they decided to wander under the barriers and into the car park”
“there are reception staff”
“yes ok but our children are below the barrier and reception height and could
be missed easily”?!

btw I can’t believe people think going out with 3 children isn’t possible. It’s totally possible if you aren’t a dipshit like my husband and do reasonable activities - he wasn’t taking them to climb Snowdon he was taking them to softplay. It’s very easy to pick up the 1 year old and ask the 3 year old to accompany to the loo.

“Fine I won’t take them anywhere again”

well no, I wouldn’t want you to!

Your husband is an absolute fucking idiot. I'd never trust him again. He could have easily taken all three children into the bathroom. He's just stupid and lazy and can't be bothered.

Me thinks there are other issues here.

its not a mistake it’s incompetence. Even 5 year old DC knew it was wrong. I would be furious

So...when 5yo said he left he 1yo old alone all the time, that wasn't actually true...?

I hope you told him he had better not even dare try to turn this around on you. What a manipulative prick.

@Katemiddletonsphotoshopper
Your update is so much worse. Jesus. I wouldn't be comfortable with my husband taking our kids anywhere alone again if I were you.

I think based on this it’s true, yes. He left the 1 year old alone in the hallway for entire time my DS was in the loo.