To have been angry at this question from a stranger

[Whowhatwherewhenwhy1]

Was in a shop buying shoes with youngest child when a random lady came over and said how pretty dd was and what lovely shoes she had chosen. She then said “Is she your only child? To which I said no actually we have six children. She asked what age and I said she was the youngest at 7 and the oldest child is now 30. The lady then said “Oh my you have been busy. Do they all have the same father?”
Was aibu to think this was a bloody rude question to ask a total stranger? (The answer is yes they do all have the same father).

People can be very rude. I once had a man ask me if my daughter was an only child. When I replied yes, he said 'so you've closed up shop then?'.

My answer to the first question would have been "do I know you?" Followed by " bye bye" and a smile. Ffs, you aren't obliged to have personal conversations with complete strangers, also you don't owe them answers to their rude questions.

Smile sweetly, "Ah bless you! Have you always had no filter or has it just come about as you hit the menopause/aged?"

Eugh, please don't say this. It's ageist and assume that women of menopausual age are rude.

Just tell them you find the question rude and it's none of their business, no need to have a dig at their age or hormonal status.

A 'friend' has 6 children. I've often wondered if they all have the same father.
Too polite to ask. 'Friend' is a gossip and nasty.

Always bat it back to them. Always. It draws attention to them and hopefully gives them cause for embarrassment and to perhaps not be so intrusive in the future.

I like to just repeat their question back to them and leave it hanging in the air. Or you can repeat it back, and then ask why they’re asking that.

It’s never failed. I use it in the boardroom where I work in a vastly male-dominated sphere. When young male noobs ask rude or derogatory questions, it’s very effective at cutting them down to size.

Hope you said “oh no, all different fathers. I’m a real slag”
just to see her face 😂

Yes it is rude. I have a few friends with large age gaps between their kids (like 13-15 years). Same fathers but they get asked all the time. It then makes the women feel like they need to explain why there's such a gap when it's no one's business.

Incredible....

I got asked this after I had just given birth to my 3rd baby by the MIDWIFE, we were discussing contraception and I wanted to be sterilised and she asked if the kids were all "his" (DH)🙄

In a shoe shop? Who asks strangers in a shoe shop how many children they have, never mind then expanding out to confirm their paternities

Yes, all different fathers, from different countries. I’ve been in a world tour.

"That's a strange think to ask, especially in front of a child!" then walk away.

She was rude and intrusive.

A bit torn. Obviously some are jumping to conclusions that she meant that there have been a lot of different dads but she might not have meant that. Being as there are a quite a few she might have thought 2 separate dads and by extension some were step-kids? It could be innocent. Otherwise if not, obviously that's rude.

Rude and weird. Why does she need to know that information about a complete stranger?

Another thought that that amount of kids by the same dad is rare these days and actually nice to see! My dad was one of 8 but you don't get it much these days so she was probably genuinely interested!

First time I met my now friend I was politely saying omg because her daughter was at uni and I’d thought my friend was in her 20’s, we had kids in the same nursery. Anyway she straight away blurted out that she had 5 and they all had the same father but they had the first very young. I was a bit ok, over share I was just being polite about how young you look. But over the years it’s because she knows what’s coming which is horrible. Her oldest used to get crap when they were out as a family assuming she was the mother of the youngest - which is weird too when they were just shopping or whatever.

What a cheek to say that to you OP.
Way back, I was standing in a group at a wedding. Unknown Rando asked me if I had children, if it was it a difficult birth etc in a persistent way which got more and more uncomfortable and personal. Looking back, I think it must have been his party piece. Disgusting Creep.

"I'm a tantric sex instructor so their dads could be anyone of my clients. It's just a side effect of the job, really." That should shut her up.

I once had a twat of a colleague congratulate me on my pregnancy and then ask me if my husband was the father. He was shocked at my fury (hormonal, very tetchy, not that that I need to explain myself in the face of such rudeness) and said it was just 'bants'.

I really hate it when people come up to me and start telling me how pretty my children are, like that’s some kind of achievement?! And then they keep asking questions, I just smile and walk away or ignore them, I’m not interested in chatting to strangers or giving out my personal information.

The worst was when a foreign tourist grabbed my 2 year old and started touching her face and talking in another language to her, it really shook dd up she kept saying ‘my face, my face’ for days afterwards.

But why does she need to know? It's absolutely none of her business. And especially rude to ask this in front of a child.

It is rude. I have one DD8, and she is an only child by choice.
I was once told, by a colleague, that I am being unfair to her for not giving her a sibling.

She was very rude.
To be honest I think even her question about age was inappropriate. What this to do with her?
We can offer a lot of sarcastic answers to that ( e.g I don’t know. Yes, we do love sex etc) but the point is that people shouldn’t be so rude.
By the way I have one child and she is disabled so I usually receive a different set of questions but it’s so annoying.

Where you were brought up was it not considered rude to ask such impertinent questions?

I used to get asked similarly rude questions about my DSs when they were little. Big age gap, DS2 is a flaming ginger. Always questions about their paternity from strangers. Very very rude.

When I was pregnant with my first I worked at one office and my husband worked at another office of the same company. A chap I didn’t know well came to our office and was chatting to my manager, and commented on my obvious condition. Manager said yes, it’s (dh name’s). The chap looked appalled and said “Does he know?”